It’s now late summer and somewhat like this snifter of Courvoisier I have in my hand we’re feeling fine and mellow at Leaky Towers and we’ve been musing on how we’ve got to know each other very well now – so lets dispense with the formalities for the time being.
We may be members of the landed gentry but in the words of those good buddies Cameron and Brooks –“we’re all in this together” right?. Therefore, you have special permission to henceforth refer to me by my first name Julian and my loyal and trusted Ladyship is quite happy to be called Justine.
So, in the spirit of such bonhomie we’ve been trying to find out for you what Wirral Council’s Department of Adult Social Services has been up to lately.
As you may know they’ve got a new Director – a certain Mr.Hobgoblinson or some such and they even have a plan – “The Everything is Going To Be Nice & Lovely Plan” – so many wonderful,clever ideas with timetables and pie charts and spreadsheets and outcomes and targets and so on and so forth (sorry correction – Justine has just whispered in my ear :” not targets dear ,targets have become very unfashionable ” – and as we know its all about appearances these days and if its one thing darling Justine knows about its fashion – there isn’t a day that goes by without her fingering her way through Vogue and its supermodels).
So there I was thinking so far, so good until dainty Miss Verity just tiptoed in with a note on a silver platter.
And oh dearie ,dearie me it would appear that so much for DASS getting its house in order as the unbelievable news reaches us that the so and so’s at DASS are renewing contracts with a “care provider” who were heavily criticised in the notorious AKA report and who has featured prominently in despatches from Leaky Towers and horrifyingly in this particular story “A Grave Injustice.”
How so? I hear you cry?!
Well apparently all those associated with Service Provider 10 has been given the all clear because the owner has been very upset about pranging the Bentley (don’t you just hate it when that happens?) and so all is forgiven apparently – and so – its business as usual and they are now an integral part of The Everything Is Going To Be Nice & Lovely Plan – so break out the Bollinger boys and girls!.
However as dear,darling Verity points out things are not as Oh So Rosy as it would appears as there a few pesky social workers in DASS who are not very happy about this situation as it means they may be have to get into bed (if you’ll pardon the expression ) with a particular person associated with appalling practices ( I’m assuming that these “practices” which would be classed as criminal if perpetrated against you or I were never investigated properly by DASS/CQC or Police or as Ernest Eldritch, our earthy gardner puts it in his own inimitable style – “Seems they just couldn’t be fucking arsed sir, if you’ll pardon me for saying so m’lud”.
So I suppose the question that disgruntled social workers should be posing is whether DASS managers or indeed anyone associated with the Council would be happy to have members of their family under the “care” of someone with a “bit of a rep” as once again Eldritch delightfully puts it
And so – at this juncture I fear that all I can do is sigh deeply,adjust my monocle and commandeer one of Justine’s fashionista phrases and proclaim: ” OH DASS – this is SO VERY YOU“
READ MORE AT CBBC , sorry we mean CQC has ANYTHING changed ?