Is it just us or is the silence from Wallasey Town Hall is deafening on the subject of Technical Services Director Dave ” No Case To Answer” Green?.
Which is rather odd as highly placed sources within the Council  (and beyond) have apparently been openly discussing Green’s departure from Wirral Council- which considering the amount of public interest in the suspensions of senior Council officers involved in the Highways “scandal” is a mightily impressive demonstration of information lockdown, at which the new regime under Burgesski seem particularly proficient ( if only they were more proficient in running the Council properly!).

If Town Hall talk is to be believed ( a big ask we know) the abiding mystery is how Wirral Council managed to finesse Green’s departure on a straightforward redundancy package!.

Yes folks we understand there wasn’t the usual “there’s a big fat cheque ,now off you pop and no tittle-tattling about any naughtiness you pesky scamp” – type deal this time.
For once it would seem it was Wirral Council’s way or the er, highway………

However we ask ourselves can this possibly be true especially when we consider the likes of the equally wrongly maligned former Director of Law  Bill Norman (about whom more later) disappeared into the sunset clutching a wad of dosh and a sly grin?.

We’ve been scratching our heads at Leaky Towers trying to work out what possibly could have gone on?. This is pure conjecture on our part but according to sources Mr.Green wasn’t exactly the shy (early)-retiring type – so could it be that this particular episode has, contrary to the noises emanating from empty vessels,  yet to be concluded?……It would of course be remiss to speculate on the possibility  that advice was given amounting to “quit while you are ahead” and the “no case to answer” was a parting gift …so to speak?.

Watch this space – as Lord W knows you won’t be hearing anything on the subject from Wirral Council any time soon.

Judge,Jury And Executioner – Welcome to the Burgesski Republic of Wirral

Here at Leaky Towers we’ve been noticing the gradual centralization of power at Wirral Council and it’s almost as if  Comrade Burgesski is living out his Communist student fantasies. But of course this being Wirral it’s more of an Animal Farm form of communism – where some of the pigs at the trough are very much more equal than others!.

Indeed at an Extraordinary Meeting of Council on April 30th ( “They’re all extraordinary if you ask me darling” drawls Lady W) it would appear that there are further proposals which in the Supreme Council Leader Comrade Pipovski’s words  “will bring long-overdue normality to Wirral.”


After we all fell about laughing at that quip Eldritch piped up ” Normality? – yeah right!, the kind of fucking normality that Stalin would have approved of…..”

So here courtesy of Verity is our cut out and keep guide to those crazy Commie capers:

Local elections will be every 4 years (it is rumoured Comrade Burgesski wanted  a 5 year cycle in homage to his beloved ” 5 Year Plan for the National Economy of the Soviet Union” but it was agreed that the Finance Department -and especially Infernal Audit – had a history of trouble with numbers and anything above the number 4 caused problems – mainly because the Department couldn’t decide whether a thumb counted as a finger so advised that it was best to stick with 4 to avoid confusion)

Local area forums will be reduced and replaced by “Constituency Committees” where each meeting will begin with a rousing rendition of “The Internationale” before commencing a 3 hour discussion of points of order  raised during consideration of a motion concerning the rules of the Committee after which the Committee will agree to do as it is told by Pipovski’s Politburo (after first seeking Comrade Burgesski’s approval)

Several scrutiny committees will be wound-up and 2 separate scrutiny committees will be joined together – namely Children and Young People and Adult Social Services. These are 2 Departments which have invited scandal,criticism and a series of damning reports so we have difficulty seeing the rationale for reducing scrutiny – unless of course the idea is that you have one big bag of dysfunction instead of 2 small ones. “It sounds like a recipe for disaster like that perfectly dreadful Spice Girls song” opined Lady W. “Which one ?” we all chimed in unison (in homage to the mighty local union) -” Oh you know  –  “2 become 1” she chortled mischievously.

Debates at full council meetings will now be strictly stage managed,sorry we mean  “regulated” –  written questions will be pre-approved by the Politburo beforehand and all will begin : “Dear Supreme Leader , may we respectfully ask that you consider this humble request so that we may bask in your glorious omnipotence…….”

Councillors are now  being asked to consider themselves as “community champions.” Helpfully we have been given a sneak preview  of an instructional video which has been prepared to assist Councillors with this exciting new challenge.The video is also seen as a means of encouraging  “community champions” to use the skills they have acquired during their recent media training (as long as Comrade Burgesski has full approval of the final edit).

Gagging For It – Story Goes National

FOI PC TELEGRAPHWe at Leaky Towers couldn’t let it pass without raising a glass to Mr.Paul Cardin, a local campaigner for open government who went national last week courtesy of a Daily Telegraph front page feature.

His sterling work surveying local councils and their sometimes nefarious use of Compromise Agreements and gagging clauses which aim to stifle dissent or hide a multitude of sins is not only a staggering achievement it also induces open-mouthed bewilderment as to what on earth is happening behind closed doors of Town Halls up and down the country. The link to the survey is here:

Unfortunately the Telegraph seem to have muddled up the £14 million paid to civil servants in Whitehall with the thousands and thousands of cases involving local Councils and many millions of pounds of public money.Very conservative estimates of monies paid out put the figure at least ten times that quoted in the newspaper.

Of course it would appear that Mr.Cardin didn’t have to look far to provide the Telegraph with a suitable case study as local cause celebre Martin Morton gets to air the horror of his experience working at Wirral Council yet again ( is it us – or does this case get worse every time we hear it?).

It is apparent from the interest that this story has engendered from Bradford to Brighton that there is a huge amount of public interest in how public money is converted into hush money.

Closer to home we would like to know how did Wirral declare a figure of 12 Compromise Agreements in this survey when former Chief Internal Auditor David Garry (ironically later to be the lucky recipient of a reward for failure) later found that in the depths of some of the deepest scandals, Wirral Council hadn’t even been monitoring, counting and reporting compromise agreements? – See here:

See page 7, Appendix 1 s of this report

where Mr Garry says :

“1. The system, process and procedure for all Compromise Agreements (whether above or below the threshold for referral to the Sub-Committee of the Employment & Appointments Committee), should be documented.”

Helpfully Mr.Garry also classified Wirral’s compromise agreements process as:

“An area within a wider list of items of a high priority nature where a fundamental risk has been identified that might affect the ability of a specific service area to achieve its key objectives.”.

Well that’s alrighty-then!.Indeed one wonders whether Mr.Garry attended the same Communication Workshop as Rob Vickers of this parish.They both seem to know how to make everything elliptical ,abstruse & recondite!!!.

In consideration of which it is rather alarming if not surprising that Wirral Council and more specifically legal bod Rosemary Lyon has recently branded Mr.Cardin “vexatious” and obsessive” and on those grounds refused him information which was ironically about the departure of former Chief Internal Auditor Mr.David Garry!!!!.

Once again the workings of Wirral Council, especially during a time when they were being monitored by the Information Commissioners Office, simply beggars belief.

It would seem that Ms.Lyon clearly needs to familiarise herself with the words “public interest” which is the foundation of the Freedom Of Information Act.

And whilst she’s in the Ps perhaps she can look up the word “persistent” which is very different from being “vexatious”.

Does it not occur to these people that Mr.Cardin wouldn’t have to be quite so persistent if they were more forthcoming with information to which the public are legally entitled?.

And as for labelling the indefatigable Mr.C as “obsessive” is Ms.Lyon moonlighting as a Consultant Psychiatrist perchance?.

Indeed Lady W ‘s psychotherapist Dr. Sigmund Bonkers described this as a classic case of transference.As he explained : “Transference eez a vell known psychological phenomenon and based on what ve have observed of Virral’s obsessive secrecy I can only conclude zat it borders on ze pathological”

Burn Blobby Burn


No more steak and kidney pudding for us at Leaky Towers  as it has been revealed that Wirral Council intend to make a 33% surcharge on the more rotund of us at their crematoriums! Death by Chocolate indeed !

Rather tactfully a Wirral Council spokesperson has said the Wirral surcharge “reflects the additional time and energy it takes to process larger cremations”.
I’ve heard of burning calories but this is ridiculous!

Hopefully this measure will also send out a message to the salad-dodging dignitaries in Council chambers.

No more (light) finger(d) buffets and smorgasbords for you corpulent Councillors  or when you shuffle off this mortal coil you’ll end up being dispatched by your loved ones into a brown bin – which frankly is where some of you belong and what’s more at £35 is an absolute bargain in these times of austerity!.

 Love, Tub of Lord .

Your’e The One For Me Folks