Here at Leaky Towers we’ve been noticing the gradual centralization of power at Wirral Council and it’s almost as if Comrade Burgesski is living out his Communist student fantasies. But of course this being Wirral it’s more of an Animal Farm form of communism – where some of the pigs at the trough are very much more equal than others!.
Indeed at an Extraordinary Meeting of Council on April 30th ( “They’re all extraordinary if you ask me darling” drawls Lady W) it would appear that there are further proposals which in the Supreme Council Leader Comrade Pipovski’s words “will bring long-overdue normality to Wirral.”
After we all fell about laughing at that quip Eldritch piped up ” Normality? – yeah right!, the kind of fucking normality that Stalin would have approved of…..”
So here courtesy of Verity is our cut out and keep guide to those crazy Commie capers:
Local elections will be every 4 years (it is rumoured Comrade Burgesski wanted a 5 year cycle in homage to his beloved ” 5 Year Plan for the National Economy of the Soviet Union” but it was agreed that the Finance Department -and especially Infernal Audit – had a history of trouble with numbers and anything above the number 4 caused problems – mainly because the Department couldn’t decide whether a thumb counted as a finger so advised that it was best to stick with 4 to avoid confusion)
Local area forums will be reduced and replaced by “Constituency Committees” where each meeting will begin with a rousing rendition of “The Internationale” before commencing a 3 hour discussion of points of order raised during consideration of a motion concerning the rules of the Committee after which the Committee will agree to do as it is told by Pipovski’s Politburo (after first seeking Comrade Burgesski’s approval)
Several scrutiny committees will be wound-up and 2 separate scrutiny committees will be joined together – namely Children and Young People and Adult Social Services. These are 2 Departments which have invited scandal,criticism and a series of damning reports so we have difficulty seeing the rationale for reducing scrutiny – unless of course the idea is that you have one big bag of dysfunction instead of 2 small ones. “It sounds like a recipe for disaster like that perfectly dreadful Spice Girls song” opined Lady W. “Which one ?” we all chimed in unison (in homage to the mighty local union) -” Oh you know – “2 become 1” she chortled mischievously.
Debates at full council meetings will now be strictly stage managed,sorry we mean “regulated” – written questions will be pre-approved by the Politburo beforehand and all will begin : “Dear Supreme Leader , may we respectfully ask that you consider this humble request so that we may bask in your glorious omnipotence…….”
Councillors are now being asked to consider themselves as “community champions.” Helpfully we have been given a sneak preview of an instructional video which has been prepared to assist Councillors with this exciting new challenge.The video is also seen as a means of encouraging “community champions” to use the skills they have acquired during their recent media training (as long as Comrade Burgesski has full approval of the final edit).