A SLOW BOAT TO NOWHERE

Wirral Waters ( artists impression)*
Disclaimer: *Wirral Leaks cannot verify as to whether hallucinogenics were used in the production of this image.

On receiving the news (STORY HERE ) that yet another Wirral Council delegation was heading out East ( let’s face it the Council have already Gone West) the Leaky Towers team couldn’t help but wonder as to whether so many air miles had ever been travelled in the history of aviation by so many people to achieve so very little?.

Our very own Gang of Flaw, sorry Four  – Power Boy Pip , Comrade Burgesski and his right hand man and woman ( Kevin Utterly-Butterly and Spinderella Degg) are joined by call centre boss Asif Hamid in this latest jolly,sorry….. jaunt,sorry , er  “mission to develop educational links for young people”.

Yes folks this particular trip is all about our childrens future!  – to which all we can say is we don’t know about you but we hope our childrens future doesn’t involve working in a call centre – which we consider to be 21st century equivalent of the  “dark satanic mills” of our industrial past.

Furthermore is it us or does this sound like a more exotic and far flung student exchange programme?.

There’s certainly no mention of whether the Gang of Four ( + 1) will be meeting up with the mysterious Ms.Who aka Stella Shiu to progress the Wirral Waters “vision”  – perhaps her bodyguards Kalashnikovs are being polished, who knows? .

What we do know is that it is likely the delegation will experience more Dim Sums than Wirral Council’s Finance Department and that in the light of the Information Commissioners Office damning assessment of the Council’s response to Freedom of Information requests that the group will be learning from the Chinese position on openness and transparency which is known locally as The Great Stonewall of China.

More importantly there is an opportunity for one member of the party to bring back their own tacky knicknacks and tawdry knock-offs for a change.

All together now:
” Out on the ocean,
Far from all the commotion,
Melting your heart of stone,
Honey I’d love to get you,
On a slow boat to China,
All to myself alone……..”

NO SHAME,NO BLAME AND EVERYTHING REMAINS THE SAME

“I,Graham Burgesski swear to tell the truth, the whole truth and whatever Spinderella says I can…..”

Wirral Leaks devotees will remember how we reported that the Information Commissioners Office (ICO) were keeping close tabs on Wirral Council with regards to their response to Freedom of Information requests as their performance had been absolutely woeful.

Indeed they were the only Council in the country to be subject to such monitoring ( doesn’t your bosom swell with pride?)

https://wirralleaks.wordpress.com/2012/12/31/oh-no-its-the-ico/

Now despite the desperate intervention of Unofficial Town Hall Apologist and  Cranky Conspiracy Theorist Uncle Frank “n” Field doing his usual defending the indefensible routine,it still appears that Wirral Council are still failing miserably when it comes to the oft quoted mantra of “openness and transparency”

https://wirralleaks.wordpress.com/2013/06/19/frankly-mr-frankie/

Following a three month monitoring period the ICO have ruled that response times still fall far short of an acceptable standard:http://www.ico.org.uk/news/latest_news/2013/Home-Office-monitored-over-FOI-response-times-09082013

The ICO have therefore taken the unprecedented step of asking Chief Executive Graham Burgess of signing an undertaking to ensure that matters improve:http://www.ico.org.uk/news/latest_news/2013/~/media/documents/library/Freedom_of_Information/Notices/foi-undertaking-wirral-metropolitan-borough-council-20130628.pdf

Have you ever read such a toe-curlingly embarrassing edict in your life?.

Whilst we at Leaky Towers certainly welcome the undertaking and particularly the proviso that Council officers receive training in their responsibilities when it comes to Freedom of Information legislation might we suggest that what is needed is some “back to basics” lessons in what it means to be a PUBLIC SERVANT.

Guys and guyesses,listen up – you are not doing us any favours ,you work for us.

Remember who paid for those PERSONALISED NUMBER-PLATES.

Wirral Leaks is watching you!………………..