“You must improve!” – Wirral Council Goes Back To Skool.

DUNCE

After our little jaunt to Birkenhead Town Hall last week we really couldn’t do the double and take in the Improvement Board meeting at Wallasey Town Hall on Friday as well ,especially as we’d already had a fair share of doubles at the Remembrance Day event! (hic!)

What’s more, we can all testify at Leaky Towers that His Lordship never goes to official functions without being properly attired and unfortunately his fedora is currently with the milliner being repaired.The excess doffing of his titfer to the assembled throng of dignitaries at last weeks event means that, like some of them, it’s a bit worse for wear……

Therefore I am eternally grateful to local public interest crusader John Brace for recording the Improvement Board meeting so I could view it at my leisure whilst His Lordship and Verity nipped out. Last thing I heard them cry was that they were heading for some tea and tiffin at The Spotty Blue Teapot.

Mr.Brace’s recordings (Parts 1-5) can be found on Youtube at  ” Wirral Council Local Government Association Improvement Board 15th November 2013″

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2J1hpwHC-A

As the filming is restricted to Improvement Board Panel my first impression, after wanting to scream at the screen to Comrade Burgesski and Power Boy Pip: “Oh for goodness sake will you two boys STOP FIDGETING!”, was that it seemed like the Council had been called into the Headmistress’s office after being very naughty boys indeed and they’d been put on report and told in no uncertain terms that they needed to jolly well pull their socks up!

Improvement Board Chair Joyce “firm but fair” Redfearn seemed to be playing the headmistress role and clearly exasperated with the ” It wasn’t me ,Miss, it was him Miss…” she’d finally accepted it was everyone’s fault and it was a case of “corporate failure”.  Which basically means that no-one is held accountable for anything.Ever.

So much so it appeared that there was no naming of names allowed in the meeting in case we got into the realms of “hurt feelings” and more bumper payouts for the sensitive souls who are quite happy to accept huge salaries for being complete nonentities but don’t appear to have grasped the idea that they are public servants and that being named and shamed comes with the territory,especially when they have failed time and time again.

There even appears to be some dreary Union person bleating in the background about her members rights to anonymity.Why does it seem these people always defend the wrongdoers and abandon the truthtellers?

Talking of which – the usual crew of whistleblowers appear to have been there and they were apparently unsupported by any union representation or a retinue of fawning staff.
By the way as a matter of interest what is the collective noun for whistleblowers ? – a toot? a malcontent? a grievance? Answers on a postcard please.

To give him his due at least Burgesski (literally) stood up to a tough crowd ( it must’ve felt like amateur hour at the Glasgow Empire and we’re already big fans of the delightfully named straight-talking Mr.Voyages (?)already! ) which is more than can be said for  Council “Leader” Power Boy Pip who clearly couldn’t stand the heat,said very little and sloped off halfway through the meeting before too many awkward questions were asked or revelations were made.

His empty chair seems to be symbolic of a complete abdication of responsibility.

Perhaps he was rehearsing for his woeful performance on today’s’ Sunday Politics show. I feel he would have been better off sending  the empty chair in his place.
He reminds me of that existential joke about describing a void.
“What kind of void….?”
“An empty void” .

Although I have to say he offered rare insight when the show’s presenter asked him what’s the situation with Wirral Council?

” Dire” he plaintively answered before revealing more job cuts were on the way.
He then, without a hint of irony, signed off with a statement “that it’s all about fairness”

I could only think to myself : “Well yes,quite Power Boy Pip  but when has fairness been a concept that Wirral Council has ever been familiar with?……”.

At this point His Lordship and Verity giddily entered the drawing room.

” Did you enjoy your tiffin at The Spotty Blue Teapot” I enquired
“Unfortunately… after receiving Council grants and awards ” they both giggled… ” it would appear that as the dignitaries in this picture below indicate it’s all gone tits up”.
launch-of-the-spotty-blue-teapot-in-hoylake-238717973-3271154

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5 thoughts on ““You must improve!” – Wirral Council Goes Back To Skool.

  1. The lady that is being pointed out by the Mayoress was once the manager of EGERTON HOUSE, THE GRANTS POWERHOUSE and home to Invest Wirral. Did she take one of those grants away with her when she left?

    It is good to be married to a council officer from St Helens especially if that authority dispenses riural improvement grants!

    No doubt the Mayor and Mayoress sampled a free tea and cake before the grant monies evaporated with the Spotty Blue teapot company ltd. It is good to get something back!

  2. If it’s true that the SBT took a £20k one, it adds further insult to injury. Especially when you know that a more junior whistleblowing ex Wirral Council employee, who was forced to resign in 2003, won a £500 grant in 2010 – and 3 years on, that business is still trading.

    Are these senior staff just massively incompetent, massively arrogant, or massively spoilt ?
    Or is it a mixture of all three?

  3. Pingback: The Sorry Story of The Lauries | Wirralleaks

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