Wirral Leaks Advent Calendar 8 – RADIO GAGA or DIAL M FOR MISTAKES?


Hi fellow leakers. Verity here. My post this evening is analysing “M” words… or little collections of letters beginning with the letter “M”.

Did any of you tune in on Friday to Deputy Lieutenant of Murkeyside and pillar of the establishment Roger Phillips’ radio show, on Radio Murkeyside? You know the one. It’s where members of the local downtrodden ring up about the pressing issues of the day. Subjects can vary between the mundane “my cat’s just been sick on our bed” right up to the critical “My wheelie bin’s been stolen and chucked in the Captain’s Pit”.

Reliable Roger had “just so” happened  to invite Wirral CEO Comrade Burgesski, returning to the city of his misspent youth and council leader, Power Boy Pip to rebuild bridges after his hasty, unannounced departure from the Improvement Board meeting held a couple of weeks ago.

So , breathless with anticipation, I purloined His Lordship’s ermine- trimmed headphones and settled down…. but imagine my consternation when I heard Pip grab Roger’s thrusting microphone, and describe the Improvement Board handover meeting as ‘A Really Landmark Day’.

…you see, Power Boy Pip Davis had gotten up halfway through this ‘Really Landmark Day’ and walked out, without even explaining to the public what on earth he was doing; or precisely what could be more important and more demanding of his time! That’s right, the council leader got up, vacated his chair, and never came back, just as whistleblower Martin Morton was preparing to address the panel.

As for Burgesski, when Roger’s prominent microphone swung around and pointed at him, he kept mouthing and echoing “M” words…. but NOT the “M” words we’d all been expecting. I mean, this is Wirral for God’s sake!

We’d been dragged through over a decade of….. deliberate ABUSE of vulnerable people; deliberate BULLYING; deliberate MOBBING; deliberate ABUSE of power; deliberate SHREDDING of documents; deliberate FAILURE TO ANSWER freedom of information requests; deliberate COVER UPS; deliberate REDACTIONS of REPORTS; deliberate PAY OFFS; deliberate COMPROMISE AGREEMENTS; deliberate GAGGING CLAUSES; deliberate NON-INDEPENDENT investigations; deliberate CLEAN BILLS OF HEALTH for ABUSERS….. and on, and on… But instead of listing these calculated acts and all the naughty “M” words they’d immersed themselves in for years and years and years….

  • Malfeasance,Mismanagement,Malpractice,MoiraMcLaughlin,Malevolence,Malignant,
  • Misconduct,Misdeeds,Misrule,Mistrust,MikeFowler,Misdemeanours,Mooching,Meddling,
  • Malpractice,Mistreatment,Misuse,Misleading,Malignant,Misinformation,Manipulation,
  • ,MauraNoone,Misrepresentation,Manoeuvring,Misdirection,Miscarriages of Justice, Malice,
  • Misappropriation, Mugging,  Maladministration, Misquoting, Mocking,
  • Mayor2014,Minimisation ..and how could we forget “Mad”?

….the blighter got stuck on this very particular “M” word…… “Mistakes” and kept repeating and repeating and repeating the same word. In fact, so much so, my poor ears began to bleed, and I ran for shelter in the library, head in hands, seeking out our trusty, well-thumbed Oxford Dictionary of “M” Words….. I tore it down from the shelf, flicked through… and there it was: MISTAKE, along with all the correct synonyms:

…..error; fault; inaccuracy; omission; slip; blunder; miscalculation; misunderstanding; flaw; oversight; gaffe; faux pas; misconception; boo-boo; howler; failure; boob; clanger; goof; bloomer…. and on, and on….

I then went through the whole damned shelf of Morocco-bound dictionaries one by one, and absolutely nowhere within any of Leaky Towers’ extensive reference literature was the word “Mistake” described as anything but a non-deliberate act.

So who was sitting in the Roger Phillips’ studio? Was it the nice Graham Burgess / Frank Drebin award-winning council CEO / Naked Gun Film Star, inviting us on a straight up and honest journey of newly-found openness and self-improvement? Or was it Comrade Burgesski, fresh from the Politburo, channelling twisted dogma to the masses, obliterating the facts, massaging the truth, rewriting history?

Anyone remember the 100s upon 100s of MPs who all made similar Burgesski-style “mistakes” – all of which were the same, and all of which coincidentally occurred at the same time during the “Expenses Scandal”? Only the thick-skinned and insensitive souls among you should listen to this……..

…. SEVEN times in 29 seconds, Comrade Burgesski repeats that word. You can also tune in to the whole programme on BBC iPlayer (mistakes are at 19:27)

Disconcertingly the Phillips – assisted PR exercise uncannily reminded us of Kaa the hypnotising snake from the Jungle Book. It was as if Pip/Burgesski  were trying to entice Martin Morton / Mowgli (these “M” words are everywhere) back to the Town Hall and convince the rest of us to……


But can they be trusted? The question is: Can we believe our ears? Is this public appearance a precursor to a new openness, transparency, honesty and truth…? Or is it the latest act of two increasingly desperate men, trying to sell us a clever deceit?……………..


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