Inspired by former Wirral council DASS-meister John Webb and his infamous Golden Cone award we proudly present the first annual Wirral Leaks awards – The Leakys.
Each winner will be presented with a golden whistle in recognition of their outstanding work and contribution to Wirral Leaks throughout 2013.
Scam of the year – This was a close one.The con merchant ringing up, asking for and receiving 45,000 big ones is worthy of an Ealing comedy but shading it by 3 grand is the £48K for “hurt feelings” awarded to the mystery person hiding behind the carefully constructed smokescreen (B&H ? JPS? Silk Cut ? You tell us! ) …..
Hissyfit of the year – Yes… it’s Foulkesy at the Council meeting held in July where we feared (and secretly hoped) that his head might explode in a maelstrom of feigned victim-hood and extreme bullshit. What’s more we suspect (OK we know ) his apoplexy was related to our first award. Now we don’t know what the rubicund bellicose bruiser put in that email but we do hope it was worth 48 thousand smackeroonies of Council Tax payers money.
Photo of the year – The atmospheric monochrome study : “New Brighton Rendezvous III -” Snapped By Otto Normalverbraucher
Comeback of the year – Dave Green …er….Rick O’Brien…..oh….. Martin Morton…..oops. We’ve decided this award may have to be carried over until next year.
Best read of the year – Wirral Council’s mobile phone records (especially the international calls made on someone else’s phone from China)
Lifetime Lack of Achievement Award – To add to his OBE and Deputy Lieutenant Pigeon of Merseyside honour we bow in subjugation to the supreme majesty that was former Wirral Council Chief Executive Steve Maddox.The people of Wirral salute you for the outstanding legacy you left behind as you made a hasty retreat to your Cheshire bolt-hole with a nice big cheque of their money just before you were rumbled.
Leak of the Year/Decade/Century – Wirralgate! – believe us good people this is everything that’s wrong with Wirral Council and has been for a very long time.And whilst we’re on the subject this is NOT the prerogative of the alleged maligned party to have this matter dealt with “privately.” What’s more they are NOT the complainant ,especially when as far as we understand they have NOT even heard the Wirralgate! tapes! …………
Quote of the Year – ” No evidence was made available to the investigation to substantiate a serious allegation regarding inappropriate language” – Wirral Council Leader Power Boy Pip.
a) It wasn’t an “investigation” b) It wasn’t just about “inappropriate language” c) It wasn’t a case of “no evidence” – especially when we’ve been informed YOU HAVE HEARD THE EVIDENCE YOURSELF!
Leaker of the Year – Well that would be telling and unlike Wirral Council we know how to maintain anonymity! !
Thankfully for all of us at Leaky Towers Wirral Council has more leaks than a rusty colander – but then if you treat your staff like peasants there will come a time when the peasants revolt. So in honour of all our lovely leakers we award a golden whistle to you all and long may you blow…….
The Leaky Towers Crew – Keepin’ it real in 2014 y’all.