Latter Day Saint


Now there’s something of the revolutionary spirit of the recently deceased Tony Benn that pervades Leaky Towers – we may have been born into privilege but we’ll always admire a straight talking man of the people.

Consequently the only honours we really approve of are hereditary and we’re very suspicious of the motivation behind public awards especially when they’re meted out to the likes of “Sir” Jimmy Savile , ” Sir” Fred Goodwin and Steve Maddox “OBE”.

It seems to us that modern day public honours merely serve the purpose of instilling undue deference to supposed upstanding pillars of the community that somehow make them immune from censure or criticism.

Of course Parliamentarian of the Year , The Right Honourable Frank Field, would never indulge in such tawdry glory-hunting with his tireless work fighting for an end to hunger,poverty and slavery. God only knows where he finds the time to run Wirral Council when he’s trying to do a bit of good in the world…………..

And, of course , who could forget the incongruous photo-op of Frankie-baby with frockmaker Vivienne Westwood and er, Pamela Anderson at some tree-hugging,back-slapping love-in about climate change?

Strikes us he thinks he’s Birkenhead’s answer to U2’s Bono but without the leather kecks and the Raybans. (At this point Her Ladyship leaves the room clutching her head complaining that the thought of Mr.Field in leather trousers has brought on a dreadful migraine.)

Anyway we think Our Frank is hanging on in there for “The Big One” – no you silly-billies ,not the beknighted touch of the Queen’s sword , we’re convinced he won’t be happy ’til he’s canonized.

Move over St.Francis of Assisi, here’s St.Frank in the Fields!

Indeed one of the most curious awards he’s picked up along this primrose path of patron sainthood is the Mormon Family Values Award 2012 – SEE HERE
Of course not being married or having children makes him the ideal candidate to espouse how families should lead their lives. However we have reason to believe he may have been nominated by a local councillor and no doubt he was able to coach Frank on his own interpretation of ‘family values’.

Our very own agent provocateur Verity has been doing some research and it would seem Mormons themselves are not averse to a bit of meddling in politics – they funded Proposition 8 which was intended to ban same sex marriage in California (failed) and they’re currently trying to get legislation in Utah overturned which allows same sex marriage in that state.

It is also interesting to note that Mormons have to pay at least 10% of all their income to the church. We presume this includes council allowances so does any Wirral Council tax funded cash eventually find its way to Salt Lake City to fund ‘the building of temples, churches and other buildings’ (shopping malls)?.

Having said that Frank has some very idiosyncratic views on family values himself. Remember when he displayed impeccable humanitarian principles by volunteering Birkenhead as a pilot scheme for placing problem families in metal containers underneath motorway flyovers?  SEE HERE

Mr Field said at the time : “We can’t skirt around this issue any longer. We have to show these people that their behaviour will no longer be tolerated and that they don’t deserve to live among decent, hard-working taxpaying families.”

We’d like to say this statement sounds as though it has come straight out of Conservative Central Office so can we suggest that to demonstrate his true allegiance and indeed demonstrate “we are all this together” he perhaps needs to extend this approach to errant local Councillors and start ordering , mafia -style , that they be placed in concrete pillars supporting motorway flyovers , thus ensuring that they achieve their manifest destiny of literally becoming fine upstanding pillars of the community……………..

For as we know, as in many things in Wirral , all roads lead to Field!

2 thoughts on “Latter Day Saint

  1. That Mormon issue is an interesting one. Does anybody out there know whether any Wirral Councillors attend a Mormon Church? And if so, did members of the electorate voting these people in realise before they cast their vote, that 10% of the councillor’s expenses / allowance would be syphoned off in this rather irreligious manner?

    Forewarned is forearmed and would this small matter have been included in any of the leafleting / publicity prior to an election?

    • There’s at least one TBM (true believing mormon) serving councillor out there in Wirral. Coincidentally…..representing the ward in which the only mormon church in the Wirral is located. & ! what a(nother) coincidence!! His son was made the ‘bishop’ within 6 months of him becoming a councillor!! Wondrous things indeed……

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