The Poisoned Chalice


Question : What’s the difference between “leader” (lol) of  Wirral Council Phil” Power Boy Pip” Davies and a supermarket trolley?
Answer : A supermarket trolley has a mind of it’s own !

Accordingly our so-called “Leader with Special Powers”  has decided to further line the pockets of external consultants Penna and LGA from a seemingly bottomless pit of public money. This time it’s to give advice on the appointment of a new Chief Executive to follow in the footsteps of Comrade ” I’m a non-entity get me out of here”  Burgesski.

This week saw the unedifying spectacle of an Employment and Appointments Committee where nodding dog Labour deputies  Cllr Ann “McCrackers” McLachlan and Gorgeous George “Downfall” Davies  fearlessly backed Pip in his mission to attract a top-notch Chief Executive on a top-whack salary.

 “We need a reality check and get in the real world” implored Cllr McLachlan , somehow managing to keep a straight face as she endorsed a £175,000 golden hello for another doubtless self-serving shyster.

Let’s face it whoever they appoint to the top job their task is to simply make people redundant and close down public services and take the flak whilst Pip blames the Tories (whilst failing  to mention that if they are elected at the next General Election Labour intend to carry on regardless with the self-same “austerity measures!” ……..)

Indeed a quick glance at the Penna website tells you everything you need to know about what kind of candidate Wirral Council are looking for:

“Enhanced efficiency and seeking to do more with less in the face of ever growing demands and more exacting financial pressures whilst trying to maintain the current welfare state benefits means that current paradigms need to shift.
In the current economic climate there is increasing pressure for public services to run efficiently. Driving forward public sector reform will help the UK emerge stronger and faster from the global downturn. Learning from those already making efficiency savings is the next challenge for public services”

Which translates as : ” Yes we love public services so much we decided to work in the private sector and make lots of money advising public servants to hire people like us”…..which makes us at Leaky towers want to tell Penna where exactly they can shift their bloody paradigm.

And as for the LGA ( L’Oreal Government Services – ” Because we’re worth it…”)
Haven’t the people of Wirral paid you lot enough already – and for what exactly?

We noticed that both consultants still failed to point out in their unconvincing deliberations that a) there is a particular perk that the past three Chief Executives have enjoyed and  b) whosoever does take the job the first criteria must surely be whether they meet Frankenfield’s approval ….

So finally our advice to prospective candidates is that it might be wise to check out Wirral Leaks to know exactly what they’re really letting themselves in for before considering how they intend to spend their miserly £14,500 A MONTH paycheck……..


4 thoughts on “The Poisoned Chalice

  1. G’day Lordly


    I am more and more affronted, insulted and feel more violated by these buffoons as the days of Gra Gra’s tenure wind down.

    Only 33 more sleeps.

    I thought I might be able to explain a reason why the highly paid “Football Shirt” thought the contracts were so so complicated.

    He was possibly looking at his contract with Stella in Cantonese. Did anyone actually see if it was signed and by who?

    Did I tell you the Grant Thornton investigator found forged signatures.

    That would explain it Lordsville even “Highbrow” can’t do Cantonese but what surprises me is he and “The Chamber Potty” through their Chamber Pot are still advertising about doing business with China. I can feel a visa application coming on. “Phil the Dill” and “The Dunny Chain Wearer” will have to get more shots.

    Check the Chamber Pot newsletter there are even more laughs.

    A little secret Lordy the Chamber Pot also advertises a function on Heswall Beach so maybe we are going to sell Stella the building of DEE WATERS and if that works I will make my move and sell her the Sydney Harbour Bridge.

    Uncle Joe won’t like it but “The Pretend Friend” will get to the Valleys quicker, just a short nap over the bridge..err I mean drive.

    I digress My Worshipful Master

    Oh, lordy
    Pick a bale of cotton
    Oh, lordy
    Pick a bale a day
    Oh, lordy
    Pick a bale of cotton
    Oh, lordy
    Pick a bale a day

    It is not about you I wrote My Regent it is all about HIM in his last days.

    So I think for the month leading up to his last cheque from Wirral (maybe) instead of piping Xmas Carols through Clowncil buildings they should play over and over again…..wait for it…..

    If we dub in;

    “We have lessons to learn”

    “We have lessons to learn”

    “We have lessons to learn”


    “Courting and feting”

    “Courting and feting”

    “Courting and feting”

    It could become the Christmas Number 1.



    Ps Why don’t they just empty the bins and clean the filthy streets instead of trying to be what they are not? Clever.

    Pps I wonder how much of Wirral Taxpayers hard earned went towards the Golden Globes?

    Luv you more than the number pound notes Gra Gra’s has been paid by Wirral. XXXXXXXXX

  2. Merry Xmas My Lord


    As “Graham Burge(r with the lot plus super duper car and 7 mistakes in 29 seconds)ss’ is determined not to do the right thing over Big, ISUS and Working Neighbourhoods and pass it off as history and “I wasn’t there, I wasn’t there, I wasn’t there” as much as “The Dunny Chain Wearer” says “We have lessons to learn, lessons to learn, lessons to learn.

    The fact My L is that the people who were around running this and other schemes at the time are still there getting big money, “The Football Shirt” “The Chamber Potty” “Humpty Dumpty” and “The Garbage Lady”.

    History is important and lessons should be learnt especially when the the muppet in “The Football Shirt” stands in public and says the contract was very complicated and it is not our money anyway.

    That’s why you got the big bucks fool. And still do. Not just to whine and dine Stella and smoke out the back with your Buck Rogers fake tan.

    So My Lovely I will show you the quality of the people at “Wirral Funny Biz” the company they trusted with millions and millions of pounds of your hard earned.

    My First days at “Wirral Funny Bizz”;

    She phoned me and invited me in for an interview.

    He interviewed me and was talking about my duties as accounting for his farce of a marketing business which was a little offshoot. She breezed in and said my duties were to be a business adviser on ISUS. She breezed out and he started to tell me that he wanted me to look at 4 Big files as there was a dispute between “Highbrow” and the unqualified person who actually prepared them who boasted on the courses he ran that he wasn’t qualified and didn’t need to be his name was errrr Davies. She breezed in and said if I got the job it would pay £28,000.00 and out she went again the concentration level of a maggot.

    He showed me around and asked if I could start immediately and gave me the job.

    On the way out she said if I get the job she would phone me later. I said see you Monday.

    Obviously no communication between them.

    That interview room had visual and sound recording which is possibly how they have dirt on the Clowncil. “The Chamber Potty” and “The Garbage Lady” didn’t know they were on television and being recorded in there. The mad couple laughed about it.

    Bear with me My L that was just the interview it gets really ridiculous when I start.

    Day 1 at the funny farm on Campelltown Road tomorrow.



    Ps I still can’t understand how these people were trusted with millions and millions and millions of pounds of taxpayers money.

    Luv you more than the number of Yuans “The Football Shirt” and “The Chamber Potty” will bring in from China on a slow boat. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    Sleep well “Pretend Friend” and see if you can get “The Raving Loony” out for Xmas Day as cross party bonhomie.

  3. I had a vision, a dream, golfing green, where rich and famous could play,knocking their balls about. Oh glory be new holes to try out and a bunker or two. Greenbelt is brownbelt brownbelt is green, who gives a anyway ww make a good team. PD not

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