Wirral Leaks Advent Calendar

One of the joys of compiling the Wirral Leaks advent calendar is lighting upon old stories and pictures. CIGGIEMATES

We’re publishing one of our very favourite ones again today and with much generosity on our part as we’re not requesting a consultancy fee from Wirral Council.

We say this as we think this iconic image would make a great picture for next years Stoptober campaign. This years anti-smoking campaign featured some dreary policy wonk droning on about the advantages of giving up smoking – appropriately enough round the back of Wallasey Town Hall –  whilst accompanied by what looked like some half-wit dressed as a ciggie (was it one of the Super- Duper Directors perchance?)


We think that this picture with the caption: ” DON’T BE LEFT OUT IN THE COLD ! PACK IT IN TODAY !” is a much more potent message about the perils of smoking in public places.

4 thoughts on “Wirral Leaks Advent Calendar

  1. Merry Xmas My Lord

    There very quiet in Wallasey My L is the Administration coming in or have they been told by Uncle Joe to keep their gobs shut till he gets the big bucks for Merseyside?


    As “Graham Burge(r with the lot plus super duper car and 7 mistakeshttp://goo.gl/znBccO in 29 seconds)ss’ is determined not to do the right thing over Big, ISUS and Working Neighbourhoods and pass it off as history and “I wasn’t there, I wasn’t there, I wasn’t there” as much as “The Dunny Chain Wearer” says “We have lessons to learn, lessons to learn, lessons to learn.

    ONLY 28 SLEEPS to hide the lies, deceit and the DCLG Report on Big, ISUS and Working Neighbourhoods. I wasn’t there I wasn’t there I wasn’t there.

    How many times do I have to tell you? I wasn’t there!

    My second day at “Wirral Funny Bizz” was more interesting.

    In early as usual to find Him surrounded by the sycophants all having bacon butties, feeding his ego and offering dud schemes to run for him whilst “Highbrow” jogs in merrily from home.

    More about the dud schemes later.

    The building I am in has a few businesses that are linked to him (dud schemes) selling phone services and football ha ha ha.

    There was a receptionist and I could hear her raising her voice so I went within five yards and could hear the speaker who was the employee debt collector ranting about his lists of debtors that was out of date and he was going to come in and rip off heads.

    He had me looking after these lists despite her saying I was there to do ISUS Reviews only.

    He had said I could talk to the accountant “Highbrow” and find out about the company structure etc.

    “Highbrow” turned up just as the debt collector came in very hot under the collar and “Highbrow” was trying to explain that since the incompetent lady, ex Wirral Council, that did these lists before she was sacked had not updated them and he was in the process of…

    He came in with Her just as “Highbrow” was about to become a victim and He The Managing Director said I can’t deal with this and just walked out. I took the debt collector into a room to cool him down and “Highbrow” explained to Her what was going on.

    So day 2 for me and I had to stop a serious incident, “Highbrow” didn’t get him sacked and he later apologised. Whilst the managing director crept off

    All calm and “Highbrow” came into my stark room so I could find out from someone competent how things worked and about the company structure. I hid the four Big files under the knackered computer.

    Two minutes in and I was just breaking the ice with a joke as I didn’t know “Highbrow” and She stormed in and screamed “What are you two talking about?”

    Talk about paranoid (or guilty) I explained He had said it was a good idea for me to discuss the business with the accountant “Highbrow”.

    I digress, the day I was interviewed “Highbrow” jogged in and I knew instantly he would run rings around all of these wanna be’s and I have recently learned nearly all the council. Especially “The Pretend Friend” and “The Shyster”.

    Back to the witch of Rock ferry She stormed in on us quite often after that in the same manner whenever we were in the same room.

    I knew it was all fishy by now and because she couldn’t drag her evil, ugly body out of bed until nearly lunchtime I could talk to “Highbrow” of a morning.

    She was as loud in her guilt as the Clowncil is silent in theirs My Lordsville.

    In those first two days she gave me lists of ISUS clients that needed reviewing and I was to phone and make appointments but she kept taking them off me and giving me different ones because she cheated so much with dates etc., she never knew where she was up to and she would walk off with the current list and then it would go missing. As I said yesterday the concentration span of a maggot.

    I really tried not to rock the boat and when He asked me if I needed anything I just commented on the knackerd computer and asked maybe for a diary to make appointments but until the day I was sacked I used my personal diary that Grant Thornton now have.

    Just to get a bit ahead of myself the diary didn’t arrive for four weeks after occasional apologies and then what he gave me was his scouse sycophant’s part used diary that wasn’t suitable anyway. I returned it.

    These people were trusted with millions and millions of pounds and made super profits and he couldn’t get me a £2 diary and according to “Highbrow” had a room full of new computers courtesy of the Clowncil..

    Again just a bit ahead of myself “Highbrow” has the database to this day and guess how efficient they were My Lovely I did interviews before I even started work there and would you believe still doing interviews after I blew the whistle and they sacked me.

    Cheats, criminals and scum.

    Enough for today just wait for some criminality tomorrow.



    Ps Wait till Day 4 My L it gets dirty.

    Luv you more than the number of times that Clowncil employees were recorded on TV down Campelltown Road unawares. XXXXXXXXX


    coming soon

    Starring “The Chamber Potty” and “The Garbage Lady”

    maybe guest stars

    “The Football Shirt” and Humpty Dumpty”

  2. Merry Xmas My Lord

    I hope you are enjoying this calendar My Lovely and getting lots of action under your mistletoe.

    I made reference to them having television and audio coverage in the boardroom.

    Is this why the Clowncil cannot go anywhere near a courtroom with these halfwits that “Highbrow” ran rings around in court on numerous occasions.

    If “Highbrow” can give them a good hiding in court how impotent is “The Shyster” and his gang of merry legal people. Keep your gobs shut, keep your gobs shut keep your gobs shut seems to be the only advice coming out of that chamber.

    Or maybe, as the anonymous man on John “Tarrantino” Brace’s Blog I call Reprahnehpets says look at the…….. BIG PICTURE.

    Well My Prince we all know the big picture is really really ugly(I’ll enlighten you more soon) but my concern is my life, “Highbrows” and the people of Wirral who have been right Royally (apologies My Majesty) looted, stuffed and hung out to dry.


    As “Graham Burge(r with the lot plus super duper car and 7 mistakeshttp://goo.gl/znBccO in 29 seconds)ss’ is determined not to do the right thing over Big, ISUS and Working Neighbourhoods and pass it off as history and “I wasn’t there, I wasn’t there, I wasn’t there” as much as “The Dunny Chain Wearer” says “We have lessons to learn, lessons to learn, lessons to learn.

    ONLY 27 SLEEPS to hide the lies, deceit and the DCLG Report on Big, ISUS and Working Neighbourhoods. I wasn’t there I wasn’t there I wasn’t there.

    How many times do I have to tell you? I wasn’t there!

    I was settling in now to” Wirral Funny Bizz”despite Her chaos with files, lists and the database and made a few appointments but for the following week so I had some time on my hands.

    I am very organised so I was getting the questionnaires and forms in order and diarising everything. Still had time on my hands so asked if I could help the accountant “Highbrow” which was approved by Him.

    “Highbrow”explained how it all worked.

    People came in and did a series of lectures and then had to have meetings with business advisors to plan and show there was a business in the making.

    They had to show by producing a cash flow statement and business plan that they were a serious goer. Then they would get £500.

    Amazing how many members of the same family came in when they realised how easy it was to get a monkey.

    They might have only got a monkey but “Wirral Funny Bizz” were getting hundreds in lecture fees and over a ton for every hour (sometimes just 5 minutes, or, not at all) they sat and talked to these people often about “The Football Shirts” team and never charged under one hour. Then more than a ton for every review in person at 3, 6, 9, 12, 18 months etc. Each client about 3 grand of ‘bangers and mash’ ask “Highbrow” for exact numbers he has the database).

    Amazing how when she really started to get wind of me being aware of what was going on to build a case to sack me she said the receptionist could do these reviews at 20 a day over the phone. A young woman (women) with no business experience and no qualifications doing face to face over the phone.

    Tell me My Regent how is chatting on the phone a serious face to face interview reviewing numbers warranting over a ton of what “The Football Shirt” calls in public “Not our money”?

    I digress “Highbrow” started to show me some files and I could not get my head around the fact that the Cash Flow Statement was exactly the same as the projected Profit and Loss Statement.

    So the “Davies” who ran the accounting lectures and boasted of not being qualified prepared this format which I have no doubt was paid for (Probably out of the Big Fund) by you know who that just was not fit for purpose, see Grant Thornton.

    So it became instantly apparent that the business advisors, “The Backward Cap” and “The Sham Solicitor” didn’t understand accounting. They boasted of the number of clients they saw a day.

    The “Garbage lady at Invest (In thyself) Wirral who was on big bucks said to “Highbrow” when she was looking at these seriously after my whistle blowing that the ones he produced were wrong because the Cash Flow Statement did not Match the Profit and Loss Statement.

    Heavens to Murgatroyd she was in charge under “The Chamber Potty” and she had no effing idea but as “The Football Shirt” says publicly it wasn’t our money.

    Go on go and have a fag and ask him. He is bound to be out the back with what’s her name….err Stella? No the other one.

    Wait for this L.

    Next job was to work off a list of clients who’s files were going to be audited the next day by…………A4E……. and make them look suitable to be a business startup.

    In other words cheat. Fix up the files that were all crap.

    These were files that “The Sham Solicitor” and “The Backward Cap” had prepared and the cash flow and profit and loss matched, unbelievably, and did not match the numbers in the business plan. Or there was just no statements at all.

    Why would A4E give advance warning on clients names? Oh that is right it was the infamous A4E.

    Enough for today My Luscious it just goes on and on….crap that was paid for in the hundreds and hundreds of thousands of pounds.

    We stayed till 8pm to get these files looking suitable.

    So My Worshipful Master I know and you know this scam was only a few million but I resent the way the Clowncil have just played dumb and treated us like fools.

    Where is that DCLG Report Gra Gra that says your operation stinks.

    And it is not ok that the whole North West stinks for you just to say nothing.

    You insult my intelligence Gra Gra, “The Shyster” “The Pretend Friend” “Phil the Dill” and everyone’s little (getting bigger by the day) “Dunny Chain Wearer”. And if you insult my intelligence I shudder to think what “Highbrow” makes of you.



    Ps More tomorrow about how they ripped Wirral off and a bit more maybe about the……………….. BIG PICTURE.

    Luv you more than the number of fags”The Football Shirt” smokes out the back and maybe that isn’t a Buck Rogers (his favourite football manager) fake tan. Just a hundred a day out the back real tan, or, nicotine stain. XXXXXXXXX


    Why are we fracking?

    Why are we fracking?


  3. Merry Xmas My Lord

    To break the tedium for a day of my bizarre experiences at “Wirral Funny Bizz” My Father Xmas.

    ADVENT CALENDAR DAY 5 (Best day yet)

    I blew the whistle to “The Football Shirt” and “The Chamber Potty” on 5 July 2011.

    I was told everything was hunky dory and got two hours of how brilliant they are and I have been ignored with my mate “Highbrow” ever since.

    They have always implied everything was good and have spent at least £150,000.00, probably more, and, stood in public telling untruths.

    No wonder Gra Gra is fleeing.

    An insight today My L into the bigger picture.

    An article in The Telegraph from October that very same year 2011.

    Taxpayers’ millions lost by EU-funded regional schemes

    Millions of pounds have been lost through mismanagement of a string of bizarre taxpayer-funded schemes.

    From a rooftop plant nursery to scooters for the unemployed, they seem unlikely recipients of public money.

    But these, and dozens more projects across England, were awarded European Union funding under a programme to “reduce economic disparities” between countries and regions.

    And now the Government has admitted that millions of pounds handed out to the schemes has been lost through mismanagement.

    Ministers say that £38.1 million awarded through the European Regional Development Fund (ERDF) has been misspent or is unaccounted for, while a further £133.9 million may also have to be written off.

    Management of the projects has been so bad that the EU froze all payments in March.

    Funding was restarted in July after Eric Pickles, the Communities Secretary, whose department is responsible for deciding which projects qualify for help, pledged to bring in tighter controls.

    David Davies, Conservative MP for Monmouth, said the sums amounted to “an extraordinary and outrageous waste of taxpayers’ money through incompetent bureaucracy”.

    In a four-page document released last week, ministers disclosed for the first time the 130 schemes that have suffered from financial irregularities, and how much money is missing in each case.

    They include:

    * An enterprise scheme in Tees Valley where £1.8 million is unaccounted for due to “audit trail and document retention issues”.

    * An regeneration project in east London, which involved a rooftop plant nursery to provide seeds for biodiversity projects, lost more than £300,000 after its promoter, Tower Hamlets Environment Trust, went into liquidation.

    * Regional film agency Screen East was responsible for £368,000 of “ineligible expenditure”

    Among the smaller financial discrepancies, Wansbeck on Wheels, a project in Northumberland, designed to help the unemployed to find jobs by advising them on public transport or providing them with scooters, lost more than £2,000 due to poor auditing.

    The projects on the list relate to the period between 2000 and 2006, when Labour was in power. Many of them were ultimately administered by the former Government Offices of the Regions (GOs) and regional development agencies, all since abolished by the Coalition amid spending cuts.

    Mr Davies added: “This confirms the suspicions of many taxpayers that these unnecessary regional agencies were simply wasting money.

    “It should be remembered that this is not European money being wasted but our own, because Britain pays far more into the EU than it gets out.

    “These figures bring into question our relationship with the EU and what we are getting out of it.”

    Other losses revealed in the Government’s list include £90,000 due to “inadequate financial controls” at the ‘Hive of Industry’ enterprise scheme in Sefton, Merseyside, and £43,000 for “overclaim of salaries” at a South Yorkshire project called “Attracting Growth Sector Champions”.

    In Nottinghamshire, £20,000 was lost when environmentally-friendly enterprise park Sherwood Energy Village went into liquidation, while £884,000 was written off from a regeneration fund administered by Nottingham City Council because of “miscalculation of revenue expenditure”.

    North-east England dominates the list of affected projects, with at least 15 inward investment and business support schemes collectively losing £5.5 million of public money through “audit trail and document retention issues”.

    An England-wide business start-up project called Access to Finance, run through the Government Offices, misspent £200,000 through “ineligible expenditure”.

    The ERDF, which has handed out more than £5 billion in England since 2000, has also been behind a number of high-profile successes including the Eden Project in Cornwall and the King’s Dock redevelopment in Liverpool.

    Bob Neill, the local government minister said: “The ERDF programme has been plagued by a legacy of poor administration and fines that dates back to 2000.

    “The Coalition has overhauled the management of these schemes, bringing them in-house, and successfully minimising the liabilities.”

    A DCLG spokesman added that losses between 2000 and 2006 could have totalled £236 million, but that officials and managed to “claw back” £63 million. Of the remainder, £38.1 million has been written off and a further £133.9 million remains outstanding.

    Screen East was declared involved in September 2010 after the Coalition abolished its parent organisation, the UK Film Council; its former finance manager was jailed earlier this year for stealing £60,000 from the organisation.

    The enterprise scheme where £1.8 million is missing is the now-defunct NE Business Support Network for Tees Valley.

    So My Lovely just a little break from my days at “Wirral Funny Bizz” bizarre days.

    Where is that report from DCLG Gra gra?

    Are they clawing back?

    Back tomorrow.



    Ps I wonder if they have anything to say on the article My Worshipful Master.

    Pps That name Davies pops up everywhere.

    Luv you more than the number of free lunches “Graham Burge(r with the lot plus super duper car and 7 mistakeshttp://goo.gl/znBccO in 29 seconds)ss’ will have before the end of the month. XXXXXXXXXX

    Better stuff tomorrow, or, maybe I will keep you in suspense a while longer.

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