Blonde Ambition

1a_Esther McVey painting a door (1)

Following our last Election Special featuring Wirral’s veteran political Svengali Frankenfield and in the interest of political balance Wirral Leaks will this week feature Wirral West MP Ms Esther McVey ( aka McVague,McVile etc;) – who is very much the cheese(cake) to his chalk.

Let’s face it we’d be wasting our time profiling Wallasey MP Angela The Eagle (Hasn’t Landed on Wirral) and Wirral South MP Alison McGormless.They are to the local political scene what Her Ladyship is to rugby league.

For example McGormless – clearly desperate for some pre-election press coverage – recently joined a hapless postman on his round to see what he does…and she found out he posts letters …..and er,sometimes delivers parcels.
McGormless was able to reassure us that during this selfless fact-finding mission the weather was “quite good”. Phew!……the parents and carers of Lyndale School currently facing closure and which sits in her constituency will sleep well tonight knowing their MP has avoided getting wetter than she already is during the course of a puerile PR stunt.


The difference in profiling the fragrant Ms.McVague is that we are not in a position to deconstruct her personal political ideology which is set out in a series of publications – all we can draw upon is : “If Chloe Can …” her seminal feminist work or “career recipe book”/”bookazine” as she likes to call it .

Put it this way – Simone De Beauvoir it ain’t.

The message of the “bookazine” (that’s a neologism we hope doesn’t make the Oxford English Dictionary) is of course simple and direct: “If Chloe Can….” you can too! Flicking through this literary masterpiece this basically means you can grow up to be another ” Duffy” – remember her? – just follow your dreams,reach for the stars or alternatively face benefit sanctions. SEE HERE

The Esther Bunny

The Esther Bunny

And if Ms McVague isn’t the living embodiment of this credo then we don’t know who is…… however she appears to us to represent what happens when limited talent meets limitless ambition. Where the X-Factor meets welfare reform.

Witness the toe-curling disregard of accepted protocol as she announces on the cutting edge political arena that is the TV programme “Loose Women” that she harbours the ambition to be Prime Minister.  Good luck with that one Esther – but we think that as an ex-TV presenter you’re destined to be forever associated with the showbizzy ,shouty end of politics (or should that be screechy end of politics) – an Anne Widdecombe in waiting – an end of the pier politician – an Edwina Currie who’s cashed her chips. Rather than dream of being PM we think you should follow your destiny ……. straight to reality TV – which is where you will find your natural metier – a new career being voted out rather than being voted in.


Having said all that McVague does seem to have a particular knack of annoying people – recently having been variously described by fellow politicians as “Hard Hearted Hannah” and as a “Washing Machine” (the latter by Speaker of the House John Bercow – who clearly thinks that McVague is more irritating than his wife Sally which I’m sure you’ll agree is quite an achievement ) .

Indeed as her Wirral West constituency has been identified as a target seat by Labour at the next General Election McVague has been under particular fire lately with visits from heavyweights (that’ll be mainly you Tom Watson) and Harriet Harperson in her pink “Woman to Woman” van. “Dearie me…..” sighed Her Ladyship “I’ve heard of a political vehicle but this sounds like a Sapphic Love Bus”. McVague even claims that during a recent visit Labour MP John McDonnell called on West Wirral voters to ” lynch the bitch” !


Can you imagine if a political opponent had called for Frankenfield to be lynched – it would need a catering size pack of smelling salts to bring him round and there’d be outraged cries about dangerous political subversives and endless articles about how it was not very nice to say rude and nasty things about such a lovely man.

Even this week there was a “Sack McVey” rally held in Hoylake or was it Heswall ? (all 14 protestors and 1 dog didn’t seem to know)



This demo was organised by local TUC firebrand Alec McFuckup and coincided with the release of a strongly worded song “Sack Esther McVey” which includes the touching refrain “The wicked witch of the Wirral’s had her day” .

Considering the animosity that McVague seems to engender in Labour politicians you’d think that Frankenfield would be particularly keen to have a few sly digs – but he’s curiously silent on the subject of McVague. Could it be he has a sneaking admiration for someone so closely associated with policies which he himself espoused in his magnum opus Making Welfare Work (1995). Someone in the know recently described this publication as the blueprint for Iain Duncan Smith’s destruction of the welfare state – check out the Green Paper which Field authored in 1998 if you don’t believe us.

However it seems to us that The Right (Dis)honourable McVague will hitch her rising star to any cause or any policy if it raises her profile. Who remembers that it wasn’t long after she raised the damning Independent Review about Wirral Council at Prime Ministers Questions in February 2012 where she raised concerns about overcharging and intimidation of disabled people that soon thereafter she was appointed Minister for the Disabled before swiftly being promoted to the Department of Employment to work with Duncan-Smith.

It is not known what Minister was tasked by David Cameron to look at the matters raised by McVague and what did that Minister tasked with addressing McVague’s concerns do about her plea that “those responsible be brought to account and never work in Adult Social Services ever again”.

Did McVague ever follow it up or was it just a case of making a name for herself and pleasing her political masters by having a pop at a Labour-controlled Council and then forgetting about it?

Sadly those in the know inform us that because of the redactions in the report it would have been impossible to identify the perpetrators of abuse and consequently it seems that some people who should indeed never work in social care have since gone on to manage care homes on Wirral – care homes where unsurprisingly concerns have been raised about further neglect and abuse of vulnerable people.

We would suggest that the recent spate of care home scandals that have been reported in the local press are not unrelated to the fact that certain abusers were never “brought to account”.

But hey why should that concern McVague as she continues her political ascent ?
Whether that ascent continues following the General Election we shall see – but whatever the outcome we suspect that McVague will simply pick up a copy of “If Chloe Can..” and continue her relentless pursuit of power…..

3 thoughts on “Blonde Ambition

  1. G’day My Luscious Lord

    In this silly political season that not many care about or actually vote I thought to get in the groove and as it appears the 65 (Simon Kelly seems to care) only care about politics and their egos first and the….. taxpaying customers…… just before elections.

    I would like to ask Wirral Clowncil if they would have a mass de bate against “Highbrow”.


    To be adjudicated by “Spotty Dog” aka Ecca.

    To be filmed by John “Tarrantino” Brace.


    “The Shyster”
    “The Dunny Chain Wearer”
    “Phil the Dill”
    “The Pretend Friend”
    “The Football Shirt”
    “The Chamber Potty”
    “Humpty Dumpty”


    How I would see it playing out My Lordsly on the past four years’ experience;

    “Highbrow” wins the toss and puts them in to bat……… He usually beats them hands down.

    “The Shyster” opens and takes his guard, puffs up his enormous jowls in the usual fashion like a great big sloppy gobbed St Bernard….slobbers and says I am not saying they are good or bad and I am telling my team to keep their gob’s shut like what “The Chamber Potty” did or they will all end up with massive sloppy jowls like me. BBRRrrrrrr slobber.

    “The Dunny Chain Wearer” steps up next and says I have told you all from Frankenstein’s team talk at Hooligans Bar how we will play this where are the fucking free pork pies and pints I am starting to look pale red? Don’t you slobber on all my pies “Shyster”.

    “Phil the Dill” is in next and says like he does in the chamber. About Big, ISUS is good. About ISUS, Big is good. When am I taking over from Frankenstein? “The Dunny Chain Wearer” mumbles what a deluded fool he really thinks he is the leader of this circus.

    “The Pretend Friend” wakes up nods winks and stabs thin air in the back oh you’re over their “Highbrow” boyo. Sorry ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!

    “The Football Shirt” is in next but is out the back having a smoke dreaming of Stella. Just as well he would only talk about his brilliant career, how good the Big Panel was, who he knows and how he can use them and how complicated those contracts are and it’s not our money anyway so who cares. I wouldn’t live in Wirral for more quids.

    “The Chamber Potty” would then flick back her long blonde hair extensions and show off her false tan and gag. I said gag you naughty Lord of the Manor.

    “Humpty Dumpty” having been there for many many years gets confused and gets the dates of the alleged criminals wrong as he did at Gra Gra’s farce of 8 October. Or was that a deliberate lie on that ridiculous night.

    “He who can talk for twenty minutes without breathing or saying anything” interjects and says what about me being in the team and talking just because Ecca got my job doesn’t mean… the audience says ah shut up you wouldn’t say anything anyway just waffle crap and lie to “Highbrow” like you did before.

    “Highbrow’s” turn.

    I rest my case.


    Ps Oh Lordy “Highbrow would no doubt wipe the floor with them again as not one of them know the whole story as you can tell by their ridiculous answers but you must agree they are great MASS DE BATERS.

    Luv you more than the number of meetings they have had in Hooligans Bar about how “The Dunny Chain Wearer” will handle Ecca. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  2. G’day My L

    Will it play on their consciences over Easter??? Doubt it they are despicable.

    Obviously after the election.

    What will the outcome of Wirral “Funny” Bizz be?

    Will the DCLG Report be open, honest and transparent?

    Will they claw back monies?

    Will they get fined?

    Will they be trusted with European money ever again? (Not ours to manage according to the SUPER DUPER DIRECTOR “The Football Shirt”).

    Will “The Chamber Potty” ever speak up?

    Will they admit why they spent £50,000.00 plus on a report they never intended to act on?

    Will anyone lose their job? (Another lie of “The Pretend Friend” to his mate “Highbrow” about who lost their job)

    Will they put administration in?

    Will anyone have the decency to resign?

    Will they ever show the original auditors report?

    Will they admit to who got that chief internal auditor to write a croc of shit?

    Will they prosecute Wirral “Funny” Bizz?

    Will they court and fete “Highbrow” in the Mayor’s parlour?

    I blew the whistle 1,361 days ago, 3 years 8 months 22 days ago and they are still in denial.

    They should all 66 go knock on “The Chamber Potty’s” door and ask her? (Lockwood
    Engineering….just saying)

    Who says politics doesn’t stink in Wirral?

    Who says some senior officers at Wirral don’t stink?

    Is it in their job description to be a liar?

    Simon Kelly for Mayor.



    Ps Oh My Lordsly they are a national disgrace.

    Luv you more than I can’t wait for Ecca to get the DCLG Report. XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    He’s probably seen it already in real life.

  3. A trifle late but follow Me McVey through Companies House and you will discover how much hot air she espoused on the getting on yer bike variety when clearly aside the MP. S salary none of her corporate ventures amount to diddly squat

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