Take Me To Your Leader


It’s election time : when the air is full of speeches and vice versa!.

Indeed the election campaign has kicked off good and proper with the dissolution of parliament and the leaders debate on TV.

This gives Wirral Leaks endless ( and by the looks of it boy do we mean endless…..) opportunities to cast our jaundiced eye over the local political scene.
So having given Wirral MPs Frankenfield and McVague the Wirral Leaks treatment we thought we’d move on to Wirral’s political bottom feeders and focus on the so-called “leaders” who will be spearheading the local council election campaigns.

Protocol dictates we must start with the man who is the current council leader and the man with self declared “special powers” – the one and only Power Boy Pip! Well what can we say about The Pipster ? – other than to thank him for the continuous comedic opportunities he provides us with and which mostly emanate from his resolute adherence to ” The Pollyanna Principle”


Unfortunately aiding and abetting the poor fool’s delusions are the likes of the Local Godawful Association giving Wirral Council Mickey Mouse awards – really you people should know better than to be an enabler for such flights of fancy as luxury golf resorts and trying to hook up with gambling resorts or envisioning skyscrapers over the Mersey….. most other people would be heavily medicated rather than encouraged to pursue such rampant lunacy.

The reality is expertly disinterred by the current edition of Private Eye under the headline “Mythed Opportunity”:
As we’ve said before and will no doubt say again the only thing this leader is good for is leading everyone up the garden path. As witnessed this week with the launch of the local labour campaign featuring a video of Power Boy Pip where the awkwardness spurts out of him like spit from a Roy Hattersley Spitting Image puppet.

But as Her Ladyship said at least prospective Wirral West MP Margaret Greenwood “put some lippy on this time ” unlike her horrorshow of a performance when she was the support act to “Harriet Harperson’s Travelling Let’s Patronise Women Roadshow” when it recently hit West Wirral.

Pip’s faltering up close and personal piece to camera covered the usual bases – foodbanks and zero hour contracts being prominent among the soundbites. However it strikes us as sheer hypocrisy on Pip’s part as local Labour politicians seem to see foodbanks as no more than photo -ops and where the opening of a new one is somehow a cause for celebration.Moreover we suggest Pip spares a thought for council staff he and his cronies have made redundant and thereby putting staff on zero hours pemanently.The council’s appalling treatment of CCTV control room staff being a shameful case in point.

A new departure which nevertheless follows the usual negative campaigning template is attacks upon Arrowe Park Hospital which seem to be orchestrated as usual by Frankenfield.
The shoddy bullying tactic comes across as not about genuinely caring for the future of the NHS but rather a case of :” Ner ner ner ner ner…you’re worse than we are….”.

And so we move on to Nigel Farage soundalike Tory leader Jefferson Green – who seems to be permanently “outraged”, “appalled” or “shocked” about how the Council conducts it’s business (usually after he’s read some revelation on a local blog) but seems unwilling or unable to actually do anything about it. This is the man who was once accused by Foulkesy of conducting a ” £250,000 ambush” following the fallout from the Morton whistleblowing scandal when the former Labour leader was booted out in a vote of no confidence.Of course as we know Foulkesy floated to the surface like an air-filled turd when he later became mayor ( talk about rewarding failure).

Foulkesy’s comment suggesting that Green would cynically use the serious issues raised in a series of scandalous reports to gain political power is perhaps only inaccurate in the sense that it wasn’t a £250,000 ambush – it was more like a £400,000 ambush ( which is what Klonowski and legal eagles/vultures pocketed between them !)….

We do however note that Green has gone awfully quiet on the subject of the Wirralgate scandal – which considering it was based on a conspiracy to discredit him seems to be a bit out of character. Could it be that even Green doesn’t come out of this episode smelling of roses – but then nobody including the “whistleblowers” do as far as we’re concerned.
In fact we think it was Foulkesy who summed up Green best during the joke of an investigation into “Wirralgate” cobbled together by Patricia Thynne where he described him as ” Kindred”

Indeed judging from the last council meeting that Foulkesy presided over as mayor and Green’s fawning,obsequious speech about the former’s year in office suggests that the feeling is mutual (if not symbiotic) and may help explain as to why Green is happy to rock the boat as long as he doesn’t make any waves……

As for the Lib Dem leader Phil Gilchrist – what can we say?.Nothing much to be honest.We can’t even drum up the enthusiasm to coin a satirical nickname.Apparently he’s been a councillor for 37 years and from what we can gather is well liked in his ward and is polite and inoffensive during political debates. Whilst his support of Lyndale School has been admirable it has to be said that his socks and sandals and cycle clips Lib-Demness has been no match for the Birkenhead Boot Boys on the Labour benches.


Talking of ( re) cycling there is the (green) fly in the ointment that is sole Green councillor Pat Cleary.Remember it was Cleary who ousted Labour favourite Bri “Nylon” Kenny in the last council elections and he (and his party) have been the subject of much hostility from Labour politicians ever since.
A further reason that Cleary seems to irritate those in power is his utterly perplexing habit of cycling to council meetings.The freeloading Labour group are simply incredulous at the fact that he’s not jumping taxis or bunging in mileage claims for a huge gas guzzler.As this picture of the Queen of Social Care Matron McLaughlin proves it would appear this is how they think councillors should arrive at Wallasey Town Hall.


However there is some good news concerned with the the local elections as we understand that the one man swearbox that is Councillor Harry Smith finally bows out of local political life. Oh how we’ll miss his constant inane interruptions in council meetings and his habit of verbally abusing journalists. However Wirral Council should be praised for their Equal Opportunities stance when it comes to Cllr Smith – as it seems to us from his behaviour he must be the first councillor with Tourette’s Syndrome to be appointed to the cabinet and will forever remain an inspiration to our pottymouthed butler Eldritch.

The bad news is that – yes you guessed it – aforementioned election failure Bri “Nylon” Kenny is to be parachuted into Cllr Smith’s safe Labour seat – which only goes to prove Red Ken Livingstone’s maxim that : “If voting changed anything they’d abolish it…..”

4 thoughts on “Take Me To Your Leader

  1. I thought I’d speak up on behalf of Lib Dem “leader” Councillor Phil Gilchrist, in case he feels left out or treated cursorily. Here’s a link to show you how he appeared regularly, without fanfare, “doing his bit for the abusers” on Wirral’s Employment and Appointments Committees.


    It sounds boring, until you check out his voting patterns. He invariably voted with his colleagues (of whatever party) to sanction HUGE, stonking pay offs; clean bills of health; gags within compromise agreements; and ultimate vindication to abusive senior officers who’d been blazing a trail of destruction across services and vulnerable people’s lives, only to receive a reward in public money for their efforts.

    The thing Councillor Gilchrist just doesn’t quite understand is that if he and the dodgy members from other parties EXIST to provide money, protection and vindication…

    …it becomes something to AIM FOR.

  2. G’day The Lord of the Wirral Manor

    I hope you and yours had a very happy and holy Easter.

    I hope the cheats, liars and gob shuts at Wirral had just the Easter they deserve.

    I said gob shuts My L and it is purely coincidental that the GOB SHUTS at the Clowncill are also the GOB SHITES. eg “The Shyster” “Phil the Dill” “The Football Shit” “He who can talk for twenty minutes without breathing or saying anything” ( Ha ha ha he didn’t get the job). “The Pretend Friend” and of course everyone’s favourite “The Dunny Chain Wearer”.

    Notice not a women mentioned. (What say do they have?)

    I will be short and sweet in this festive message My Lordly being holiday time.

    At “Graham Burge(r with the lot plus super duper car and 7 mistakes http://goo.gl/znBccO in 29 seconds)ss” farce of a public meeting of 8 October re Big, ISUS and Working Neighbourhoods.

    “Highbrow” brought a bible and was prepared to stand and swear on that very same bible he was telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

    “The Football Shit” and “Humpty Dumpty” stood their and told lies.



    Ps I just can’t wait for “Ecca” aka “Spotty Dog” to take what he thinks will be control so I can start our campaign all over again for the next four years.

    “Spotty Dog” you ask?

    The redundant “Purple Headed People Eater” of an ex Mayor (in May 2015) will be appointed as the new CEO’s handler by Frankenstein nothing to do with his press photo with acne..

    Luv you more than the number of free Easter eggs scoffed by “The Dunny Chain Wearer”.


  3. G’day My Worshipful Hero

    Talking of Stella’s Wirral Waters.

    Has the Good Lady or Eldritch mentioned to you that that rubbish paper from over Stella’s Wirral Waters puts up a fairy tale story every public holiday for the gullible.

    This years and they become more cryptic every holiday.


    “The project is of global significance, being one of only a handful of facilities with this capability and expertise in the world.”

    It added: “The proposal is also of national importance, being a catalytic and transformational project within the context of the national energy sector that is supported by central Government.”….

    “We are working with partners to further explore an opportunity that would contribute to our plans for economic regeneration of the Birkenhead Docks area, as part of the Wirral Waters project.

    “The initiative – which would be part of the Mersey Waters Enterprise Zone – is currently undergoing a staged approval process and remains subject to a number of significant external governing factors.

    “Consequently, we are unable to comment further until we are in a position to do so.”

    Have you any idea My L what that dross and drivel is about?

    Oh Lordsly the only thing missing is a photo of Stella.

    I would luv to here “The Dunny Chain Wearer” explain that shite.

    Probably a more factual story of what Stella’s Wirral Waters is good for was in the same rubbish paper My Lord.

    Pimp caught running brothel in Wirral for the second time jailed for 12 months.

    Liverpool Crown Court heard she told officers there were a number of young women working in a brothel in a converted warehouse at East Float Quay on Birkenhead’s Dock Road.

    Wonder if her name was Stella?

    Maybe Bobby47 would like to translate for us as he has a remarkable understanding of Wirral and the use of words to explain how the Clowncil are screwing (Stella) it up for everyone.



    Ps The Information Commissioner is telling DCLG to cough up THE REPORT ON ISUS so we will see if they are in it together with Wirral Clowncil My Lordsly.

    Luv you more than the 29 mistakes in seven seconds at “Graham Burge(r with the lot plus super duper car and 7 mistakes http://goo.gl/znBccO in 29 seconds)ss”


  4. G’day My Lovely

    Paul above, another Wirral hero, talks of the boss of the Lib Dems who showed a vague interest in Big, ISUS and Working Neighbourhoods as did the Tory lightweights but then they were all grounded by the fact they are all in the shit hole together.

    At least Simon Kelly Lib Dem had the cojones to give their consciences’ a tweak at “Graham Burge(r with the lot plus super duper car and 7 mistakes http://goo.gl/znBccO in 29 seconds)ss” farce of a meeting of 8 October when the “Football Shirt” and “Humpty Dumpty” stood there and lied publicly.

    Did you hear that Ecca senior officers prepared to lie in public.

    They will make you proud.

    Have you done what Gra Gra wouldn’t do for the filth yet Ecca?

    Wirral Gate…..Wirral Gate…..Wirral Gate



    Ps Hey Ecca what does that DCLG Report say?

    Luv you more than the number of spots on that picture in the local rubbish propaganda paper of spot the spot on Ecca. XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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