Expect Nothing


Her Ladyship was flicking through some of the local papers that Verity had saved for the archive when she suddenly exclaimed : “Well that didn’t take long did it?….”

On further enquiry it seemed that she’d stumbled on a letter confirming much that had recently filtered through to us at Leaky Towers in which a Wirral Council employee had declared that they were “disappointed” in new Chief Executive “Stressed” Eric Robinson and particularly his reliance on trying to find out the true state of the Council from meeting with the usual suspects.The letter concluded:

“This blind acceptance of the views of a cabal of highly-paid and self-serving individuals has undoubtedly contributed to the woes experienced by the council in recent history and, sadly, the notion that an individual’s integrity and competence is proportionate to their salary is a continuing theme within Wirral Council….”


Our first thoughts were that if the “cabal” find out who this anonymous staff member is their days are surely numbered – criticism and eloquence is a twin threat that will simply NOT be tolerated at Wirral Council.

Therefore our advice to the disappointed staff member is to heed the words of fun-loving author Sylvia Plath : “If you expect nothing from anybody,you’re never disappointed ” -although we really shouldn’t be recommending the works of the late Ms.Plath to council staff who must be already be suicidal having to work under the shower in charge of Wirral Council.

The meeting described in the letter was set out as part of Stressed Eric’s  knowing me/knowing you strategy outlined in an email he sent soon after he started in April (see below).

For those not familiar with Councilspeak we’ve provided a commentary (IN BOLD) to help you wade through the usual corporate bullshit.

Good morning and welcome to my first message to you as Chief Executive.

Although I officially joined the authority just over a week ago. I’ve found it very useful to have spent a number of days here since I was appointed earlier in the year.
Those days have given me a head start in getting to know the council, its senior managers and how we carry out our business – AND WHAT A FUNNY BUSINESS IT IS TOO!.

I’d like to thank David Armstrong for his leadership of the authority since January and for his thorough handover so far – DAVID ARMSTRONG AND LEADERSHIP IN THE SAME SENTENCE?. THAT’S GOT TO BE AN EARLY CONTENDER FOR OXYMORON OF THE YEAR!.
I imagine you will be wondering what you can expect from me as your Chief Executive – BASED ON PAST EXPERIENCE OUR EXPECTATIONS ARE VERY LOW ERIC,VERY LOW INDEED.

My passion has always been about enabling people to reach their full potential – OH HERE WE GO WITH THE PASSION BS  – making sure vulnerable people have the best life they can and are as independent and as integrated into society as they possibly can be – CAN YOU TELL US ERIC EXACTLY WHAT “INTEGRATED INTO SOCIETY” ACTUALLY MEANS?

I’ve carried that passion with me since I started out as a social worker in the 80s and it’s still with me now as Chief Executive in Wirral – AND AGAIN!….. “PASSION” IS ONE OF THOSE REALITY TV WORDS LIKE “JOURNEY” AND “DESPERATE” THAT MAKES US WANT TO SNORT WITH DERISION.

I have a strong track record in transformation; ( “SO DID DR.JEKYLL! ” – SNEERS HER LADYSHIP) changing the way organisations operate and their culture to improve the lives of our residents. I believe that by working with our partners and our communities we improve outcomes for everybody – WE DO REALISE THE WORD OUTCOMES IS COMPULSORY IN THIS SORT OF BULLSHIT ERIC BUT WE’D RATHER YOU JUST EMPTY THE BINS AND TELL THE TRUTH .TOO MUCH TO ASK?.

However, I’m very much in listening mode at the moment  – OBVIOUSLY ERIC HAS SPLASHED OUT ON A NEW i-POD NOW HE’S GOT THE TOP JOB.

I want to really understand from you, and our partners, what we need to be doing for the people of Wirral  – YOUR JOBS BASICALLY.AGAIN,TOO MUCH TO ASK?.

The council has made huge strides in recent years – YES , THEIR ABILITY TO COVER UP MALPRACTICE IS MOST IMPROVED – this was recognised with the recent ‘Most Improved Council’ award – and I know these improvements wouldn’t have been possible without your hard work and tireless efforts – HA!HA!HA! LOVIN’ YOUR  GSOH ALREADY.

But we all know there is more work to do, there is more money to save – WHICH IS SO EASY TO SAY WHEN YOU’RE ON A SIX FIGURE SALARY! – and there will be more changes afoot I know the change process (AKA REDUNDANCY) takes its toll on staff but I hope to reassure you that I’ve not arrived here with a blueprint that I plan to impose on the organisation; quite the opposite – IF WE WERE YOU WE WOULDN’T MENTION THE ” BLUEPRINT” WORD.IT WAS YOUR PREDECESSORS “FUTURE BLUEPRINT” WHICH LED TO HIS DOWNFALL ( AMONGST OTHER THINGS) – it is important to me to have a period of listening, learning and talking to make sure we have a plan for council and the borough to help us progress further – OH NO! NOT ANOTHER PLAN! WHATEVER HAPPENED TO DESTINATION EXCELLENCE ? FUTURE COUNCIL?.WHAT REALLY MATTERS?

As part of that, from May I’m planning to come and see different teams around the council, to understand what’s important to you – WE SUSPECT THAT WHAT’S IMPORTANT TO WIRRAL COUNCIL STAFF IS THE SAME AS IT IS THE WORLD OVER – DOING AS LITTLE WORK FOR AS MUCH MONEY AS POSSIBLE.

As my thoughts become clearer over time I will share them with you – I WOULDN’T BANK ON YOUR THOUGHTS BECOMING CLEARER ERIC –  the dates of when I will be out and about will follow.To give you some information about me and my background, to be here in Wirral is to find myself coming back to my roots –  YOU’VE OBVIOUSLY GOT ODYSSEY ON YOUR i-POD NOW.

I was born and brought up in Bootle and spent many happy days visiting New Brighton with my parents – W’ERE NOT INTERESTED.
I went to university in Cardiff to study Social Sciences  – NO, WE’RE  REALLY NOT INTERESTED. This was at a time when people didn’t really go to university – I was the first to go from my comprehensive school, and the first in my family which was a big step for me  –  REALLY,REALLY NOT INTERESTED!. I went on to get a professional qualification in social work and moved to London where I worked in a number of London boroughs over 15 years – ZZZZZZZZ!
I came back to Merseyside in the 1990s as an Assistant Director at Knowsley Council and since then have worked as Director of Social Services in different councils, most recently being Director of People Services and Deputy Chief Executive at Staffordshire County Council  – YEAH! BUT YOU DIDN’T GET THE TOP JOB DID YOU?.

I’m currently living in Manchester but planning to move closer in the coming months  –  THAT’LL BE  PHYLLIS NELSON ON THE i-POD NOW WILL IT ?  I have three children – Judy (21) is at the University of East Anglia, graduating this summer, Finn (18) who is currently stressed out completing his A Levels and Ruth (17) who is in the first year of her A Levels  –  NOBODY IS INTERESTED IN YOUR  KIDS .CHANNEL YOUR “PASSION” INTO THEM AND SPARE US THE “I’M JUST AN ORDINARY BLOKE LIKE YOU ONLY YOU DON’T GET PAID AS MUCH AS I DO” ROUTINE.

I spend much of my spare time with my kids – when they can fit me in – and also caring for my parents who are now in their 80’s. I am also a rarity in Wirral – a supporter of Liverpool FC! – DON’T WORRY YOU’LL BE A BLUENOSE/BROWNNOSE SOON ENOUGH 

As my second week here progresses, and I get to know the organisation further, it’s clear that I have a strong workforce dedicated to serving the people of Wirral. I look forward to meeting many of you and hearing your ideas on how we can take the council, and the borough forward for the future.



7 thoughts on “Expect Nothing

  1. And on we go into a new dawn albeit in a clown car.The beatitude/thought for the week is ‘blessed are those who expect nothing for they shall not be disappointed!

  2. In fact Eric was so entrenched into “listening mode”, he hit the ground running by blocking me on Twitter.

    When I enquired WHY … to the Great Man’s very face in the Town Hall a few weeks back, he accused me of being…. “rude” – after I’d used Twitter to bring up the grisly subject of unchecked child abuse in Rotherham, where it looks like two of the 300 perpetrators were Rotherham Councillors, who were AWARDED, COURTED and FETED by the Local Government Chronicle in the highly exclusive Grosvenor House Hotel at a glittering awards ceremony back in 2008… before resigning EN MASSE a few short years later when the whole crooked fell in pieces around them.

    This was the VERY SAME Local Government Chronicle which “awarded” abusive Wirral Council with “Most Improved Council” – a highly suspect legend which the council have emblazoned right across every piece of correspondence and email that makes it out of the fortress, across the drawbridge and into the unsuspecting world beyond.

    Now are these LGC awards a hollow worthless trinket and an insult to all right thinking, upstanding, sentient people or are they a hollow worthless trinket and an insult to all right thinking, upstanding, sentient people?

    I think I know the answer.

  3. I just can’t believe this bloke thinks he can impress the community with his rhetoric. Does he really believe that the ordinary Joe or, Jill would be convinced of his ability to liaise with staff and councillors to oversee matters that could be forthright and fair administration of Council Matters…I really think he is more convinced, (lacking eloquence and original thought) about his acquired status when all he will need to do is rubber stamp what the Legal dept., has to cover-up mishandling of affairs that are normally covered up…normally!!!

  4. G’day Lordy

    With Wirral about to celebrate one of the biggies in their year, up there with being The Most Improved Council in the Country Comedy Award, in a couple of weeks we will once again be celebrating;

    5 July 2015

    Fourth Annual Kevin Adderley is a Liar Day

    To help in the build up to this, one of their special days, and to help the lying cheating scumbag senior people at Wirral, both Officers and Councillors, to start to tweak their consciences in preparation for St Kevin’s Day I give you a sample of what they do when caught out.

    Tour, Surjit
    To james griffiths
    CC Burgess, Graham 25 Apr 2013

    Dear Mr Griffiths

    I refer to your email to Graham Burgess today which refers to another email dated 25 April (timed at 09:31) sent by you to Council Members, Grant Thornton and the Daily Post.

    As you are aware, the Council has taken action in relation to the issues and concerns raised in connection with both the ISUS and BIG programmes. These matters are still ongoing and do involve other relevant authorities.

    In your email you have stated that a senior Council Officer has “lied” to you. This is a very serious claim and one that has not been proven. It is simply not acceptable that you make such a bold unsubstantiated claim and then consider it appropriate and justified to communicate it to all Members of the Council, Rob Hampson at Grant Thornton and Liam Murphy at the Daily Post.

    The Council is of the view that making such bold unsubstantiated claim and communicating it, is defamatory; and when considered in the context of your other previous emails, may also tantamount to harassment.

    The Council owes a duty of care to all its employees, and that includes its senior officers. The fact that you have raised concerns and issues, particularly in connection with the BIG programme, does not entitle you to defame or otherwise harass any Council employee.

    You are therefore requested to issue a full unequivocal retraction of the unsubstantiated claim and apologise in writing within the next 7 days to the senior officer against whom you have made the claim.

    I strongly suggest that you refrain from making any further defamatory remarks or comments against Council Officers, or conducting yourself in a manner that may amount to harassment. Should you fail to do so, the Council will have little alternative but to consider the options available to it to ensure there is appropriate redress.

    I would also suggest you seek independent legal advice in respect of this matter.

    Yours sincerely

    Surjit Tour
    Acting Director of Law, HR and Asset Management
    Monitoring Officer
    Department of Law, HR and Asset Management
    Wirral Metropolitan Borough Council
    Town Hall
    Brighton Street
    CH44 8ED

    Tel: 0151 691 8569
    Fax: 0151 691 8482
    Email: surjittour@wirral.gov.uk

    Visit our website: http://www.wirral.gov.uk

    Oh Lordsly I felt so threatened by this letter I laughed my bits off.

    Lordsville they can take a look at John “Tarrantino” Braces’s video of Gra Gra’s farce of a public meeting of 8 October 2014 if they want to watch him lying publicly for the world to see with his mate and bloated colleague that fine figure of another scumbag “Humpty Dumpty”.

    Oh My Good Lord they have dumped me on the dole for four years and taken my self esteem and dignity so there is not much left for them to pick on.



    Ps Will send my reply to the “The Shyster” to you, probably on St Kevin’s Day.

    To show my deepest luv and respect for you My Worshipful Master I give you the joke of the decade https://youtu.be/YgFxdycTyng Gra Gra’s 29 mistakes in 7 seconds. XXXXXXXX

  5. I would suggest that instead of following his 30 or so Managers (Top Line Acts) as Mr G would say ha,ha.ha, that he take note of some of the people who actually know what is going on. This should include the Women and Men of the Thin Blue Line and Politico’s who actually are responsible for Policing these people. I maintain that it has gone well beyond any form of Political Rhetoric by the local Representatives and a Serious Investigation is undertaken to Out these People.

  6. I’ve been spending a great deal of time wondering how Eric can remain so ‘passionate’ about matters, which quite frankly, are extremely boring and tedious to most people that I encounter. Quite frankly, there’s nothing, other than his salary, that’s in the least bit exciting about his job and tipping up everyday of the working week pondering the absence of anything of any real significance in his In Tray must stretch his ability to keep telling bloody us just how bloody passionate he is. I mean, there must be occasions when his eczema flares up when he can quietly admit to himself that he’s bored senseless and he’s extremely lacking in the passion department. And why bloody not!
    And worse, not content with telling you, me and anyone else who, equipped with human ears that are set to listening rotten mode, that he first became passionate whilst foraging around on New Brighton Beach years before puberty and the realisation that his scrotum had sagged downwards, he deliberately pours another few drops of pear shaped droplets of human liquid excrement onto his spoon, shoves it in our wide gaping mouths and howls, ‘I love transformation’.
    The Bastard! The utter bastard. This is one seriously deluded purveyor of nonsensical undiluted pigswill, an art and skill that I personally know a great deal about and I for one am sick and tired of this endless conveyor belt of drivel and tripe that’s become a strange excercise in displaying bloody feelings of passion to the watching and paying public who, like me do not want to be in listening mode and listen to this bollocks.
    Truly, if some lad, minding his own business on the banks of the Mersey, saw this red faced passionate public servant staggering around the Wirral howling out some more of this mindless shite, I’d completely understand if the lad lost control, pulled out a three pound lump hammer and a bag of four inch nails and irresponsibly nailed Eric’s head to a near bye door screaming, ‘take that you boring Barstard’. I mean, I’m not condoning this extreme reaction in any way. It would be wrong and very unfair on Eric who does not deserve to have his head nailed to a door but,…..if some fool did take this course of action to end our misery I would say there are clear mitigating circumstances why the lad who’d done the hammering should only be required to serve a short custodial sentence.

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