Wirral Council and banks…….just think about that unholy alliance for a moment and then top up your swear box .
Apparently the people who govern us locally – again,just think about that for a moment and then order a new swear box from Amazon where you can read : “people who ordered this swear box also bought a rope and a chair” – have been caught up in what sounds like a glorified loan shark scheme called LOBO loans to pay off council borrowing.
Now we don’t know whether it’s us and we’ve got early-onset dementia but we’re getting really confused at Leaky Towers – wasn’t there some brouhaha not so long ago about Wirral Council lending money at preferential rates to help out their mates at other Councils ?. Seems to us as though someone in the Finance Department had a LOBO-tomy when it comes to managing council finances.
Were these LOBO loans some kind of local government pyramid scheme – with the council tax paying public busting a gut lugging the bloody big stones around to enable the pharaohs (aka councillors,council managers and bankers) to get fanned with peacock feathers and bathe in asses-milk?.
We asked Council spokesperson A – who told us:
” The loans represent good value for money.They enable Wirral Councillors and senior officers to join our friend Mr.Hamid on jaunts around the globe.They also enable us to make huge pay-offs for failure and bungs for people to keep quiet.So all things considered we think Wirral council-tax payers will be delighted that we’re squandering their money left ,right and centre…..”
Council spokesperson B later contacted us to clarify spokesperson A ‘s statement by saying:
” We’d like to apologise for Council spokesperson A who we think has been under a lot of strain due to continuous kow-towing and therefore we’ve made a referral to our Occupational Health service – because we truly,truly care about our staff here at Wirral Council. We really,really do.
However what Council spokesperson A was going to say before they were carted off to the basement of Wallasey Town Hall never to be seen again was :
Something,something,something….we know better than you…blah,blah,blah… don’t worry about money stuff you wouldn’t understand anyway… yada yadda yadda……that’ll have to do you ,now will you please go away.”