The Kipling Method


Town hall foulkes 2 015Town hall foulkes 2 011Town hall foulkes 2 014

As moviegoers can testify a sequel is rarely as good as the original.

As Her Ladyship once witheringly whispered to me : ” Darling, you’ve disappointed more women than Sex and The City 2.”

However we at Leaky Towers are breathless with anticipation that lurking somewhere in Wallasey Town Hall is a follow up investigative report which is the equivalent of The Godfather Part II .Which is that rare thing – a sequel that many film fans think surpasses the original.Perhaps more pertinently the film is concerned with omertà – the Cosa Nostra code of silence….and so strangely enough is this report.

Readers may remember that in July 2014 we commented on the release of the original report into the Wirralgate scandal by investigator Patricia Thynne where we commented :

” All we can do is implore anyone who interested in “how things work” on Wirral is to read the report which consists of 17 pages of pure putrescence….”

Last year Wirral Council were quite happy to publish the findings , possibly thinking that somehow it would finally put the biggest scandal in Wirral Council history to bed. However beady-eyed readers will now find that if they click on “DOWNLOAD” in the link above that the message “Page Not Found” will appear on your screen and whaddyaknow the report is no longer available on Wirral Council’s new in-yer-face website.

So why might this suddenly be the case?.Could it be that there is a sequel to this elusive report which is now in the Wirral Council cutting room being judiciously edited and unlikely to be premiered any time soon – even though Wirral council taxpayers paid for it !.

We can only presume that Wirral Council don’t want any public interest minded websites comparing the two reports and highlighting the glaring discrepancies between them.And by glaring discrepancies we mean the LIES told by senior Wirral councillors .

So why have we got such high hopes of this sequel when the original “Report of Investigation Into Allegations of Breach of Code of Councillors”  was such a travesty?.This is because ,  from what we can gather , this update report features some special guest appearances and a surprising star turn from a former leading lady which now means there are considerably less holes in the plot. 

We just hope the follow up investigation used  “The Kipling Method” –  a time and tested investigative technique based on the Rudyard Kipling poem :

                                                I keep six honest serving-men
                                                 (They taught me all I knew);
                                                 Their names are What and Why and When
                                                 And How and Where and Who.

The application of The Kipling Method (What , Why, When ,How , Where ,Who) to the film stills of Cllr Steve Foulkes shown above and the shameful events that have followed these ugly scenes from a council meeting held on 15th July 2013 will , we believe , be the reason for Wirral council’s X-rating – X for eXemption. Put it this way we wouldn’t waste your time making a Freedom of Information request for this particular report if we were you.

The powers that be know that this sequel always had the potential to unspool messily , entangling some of the most prominent local politicians and scuppering some lofty political ambitions……and is the reason that every effort is being made to ensure that this report never sees the light of day.

Finally , knowing what we know about  Cllr George Davies’ role in the fiasco initiated by the Foulkes horrorshow , which thankfully is more a voice-over than a close-up , can we offer some advice?. Instead of relentlessly posing for publicity shots such as the one outside New Brighton’s Floral Pavilion – where Davies stands next to Lofty the home insulation polar bear – that he needs to take a long hard look at himself in the mirror ( a big ask we know) and consider whether he is really the right person to be Wirral Council’s spokesperson on the local Restorative Justice scheme which is launched tomorrow in Wallasey Town Hall.

“The scheme is only applied in cases where those responsible admit their behaviour……….”

Seriously Cllr Davies ?, really ?………….. at least you’ve finally confirmed to us that you really do have more front than New Brighton itself.

WTAF! Picture courtesy of The Wirral Globe

WTAF?! The only thing coming out of this picture with any dignity is the turnip.
Picture courtesy of The Wirral Globe


16 thoughts on “The Kipling Method

  1. G’day Lordly

    As I was sitting just near the “Weed in the Tweed” from the rubbish paper from over Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant Wirral Waters in the public gallery I thought “Ankles” was asking me to meet him out the back so he could give me an envelope full of reddies.

    How disappointed was I to find out it was just Wirralgate shit.

    Then he ran out the front to Demigog to show her his.

    Oh “Ankles” we could have been best mates.

    I could have come to Greece to be best man.

    I could have got a few rounds in at “Hooligans” for the gang.

    No bloody sherry drinking clowncillorettes there mate.

    Oh “Ankles” oh “Phil the Very Deluded Dill” oh “Frankenstein” oh “Phil the Dill’s Ugly Twin Brother with the Comb Over from Hell” just put your hands up you have been caught on John “Tarrantino” Brace’s little camera with swivelling tripod and scumbag shit detector.



    Ps Oh Lordsville a picture of “Ankles” tells a thousand lies.

    Luv you more My L than the amount of polishing Fartin Lobsterpot will have to do on this TURD.


    • Just to let you know this wasn’t a John Brace production.Our thanks goes to Michael Ryan for the incriminating footage.
      Top marks for spotting that the corrupt overtures from Foulkes were to a Liverpool Echo journalist.The same journalist currently cosying up to Liptrotsky.
      Do these people have any shame?.

  2. You give the Wirral Globe credit for using one of their pictures, but use three stills without any credit? Are they from a video I took or Mike’s?

    The old video camera had a rather poor digital zoom rather than an optical zoom so people used to get blurry when I zoomed in. Yet looking at the stills they don’t seem to be from my footage of that meeting.

      • G’day

        Play nicely kids anyone would think you work for Wirral all wanting the good news to stick.

        I don’t want credit anyway ner ner ner ner ner I just want justice all round.



        Ps Lordy I realise that is like asking “The Pretend Friend” to stay awake, AdderleyDadderlyDooDah not to lie and “Phil The Very Very Deluded Dill not to get his TURDS polished.


      • When it was discussed whether Wirral Council should pay for its public meetings being filmed (something I think neighbouring Chester West and Chester have done since 2009, Cllr Foulkes was against this giving the reason that they didn’t want to be seen as spending money on themselves.

        However unlike say the BBC filming the Houses of Parliament I don’t have the benefit of a tax levied on citizens.

        In fact Wirral Council was so against openness, transparency and freedom of speech/freedom of the press I had to wait for the House of Commons/House of Lords to agree legislation to make the legal position clearer.

        Pointless though, as as you know since then Wirral Council have still tried to ban me from filming public meetings despite the negative press this causes!

        Oh well! Politicians see themselves as above these pesky things like laws don’t they?

      • If I remember correctly I think it’s attributed to Chris Huhne MP when he was Home Affairs spokesperson. True life bore that out as Chris Huhne (and his ex-wife) were later convicted and imprisoned for months for perverting the course of justice.

  3. So if the deputy Mayor told Mrs Thynne he never left the Chamber, never passed any envelope to the journalist and he misled her, should he not bear the cost of the first Thynne report.

    the same argument ought to apply to whomsoever suppressed the Principal auditor’s report on BIG in january 2012, we only reading it in September 2015. Should not that collection of officers be paying the half of Grant Thornton’s fee of £50,000 which just gave another slant to what the Principal auditor had already recorded. The £25,000 could easily be deducted from pension payouts,just as Mrs Thynne’s £5-£15,000 might be collected in instalments from any councillor who wasted her time and led her up the garden path.

    Money talks so much more potently than “Lessons to learn”, apologies and regrets

    • The ability to surcharge errant councillors/council officers disappeared with the Local Government Act 2000.
      However if Wirral Council Standards Committee saw fit they could make a reference to the First Tier Tribunal for appropriate sanctions against councillors engaged in misconduct.

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