HQ Deja Vu

Disneyland lights spitting in the face of Hamilton Square's history.

Disneyland lights spitting in the face of Hamilton Square’s history.

Ever get that vague feeling you’ve been somewhere before and discounted the fact you may have been pissed the first time ?.
Well our Hamilton Square revamp “consultation” story has sent some of our readers scurrying down memory lane recalling the horrorshow that was known as the Hamilton Quarter.
From our perspective the Hamilton Quarter amounted to nothing more than the removal of timeworn and cherished iron railings , the installation of cutesy moon and stars light fixtures that wouldn’t look out of place in Disneyland and the proliferation of ne’er do wells intent on Actual Bodily Harm.
However those closer to the action have asked the following pertinent questions :
“Why didn’t the famous Hamilton Quarter have an exit strategy ? Perhaps Power Boy Pip’s leading man at Hamilton Quarter  Ian Walker could answer….in between counting his  redundancy money from HQ and then stepping into a job with the lovely Paula Basnett”
“Why was the Tourist Information Centre ‘given’ to Mersey Ferries…  yep no money changed hands….funny that for a cash strapped Council.
Where any of the HQ offices sold?  – NO !
Might we suggest this flyer could explain why :
Meanwhile a local councillor reminisces :

Many years ago, in the Conference Room at Birkenhead Town Hall, there was a black and white photograph of Hamilton Square.It dated back to the days of Birkenhead Corporation buses, at a time when buses went to the Ferry terminal, and when train passengers might access Hamilton Square station after using the ferry to and from Liverpool.

In those days, too,  the Square was seen as the suitable home of the professions 

Unfortunately the Hamilton Quarter initiative merely ensured that Hamilton Square was the suitable home of the oldest profession!.

Some years later the Hamilton Quarter regeneration scheme concluded that the area would be far more pleasant without through traffic, that the Town Hall required a better setting, that patterns of  economic activity had changed.

I served on the body managing the Hamilton Quarter until I had a series of disagreements and concerns about process, probity, and the quality of some schemes.

Hush your mouth – concerns about process ,probity and quality ? – who do you think you are ?. A responsible public servant?. Get outta here!

Restoring the buildings and improving the environment in the Hamilton Square was, however, a scheme I agreed with.

I have found, in my files, a copy of ‘Hamilton quarterly9’ which proudly announced that..’most of the through traffic has been removed from Hamilton Square’..

Hamilton Quarter half arsed

‘Reduced traffic in and around the Square, together with the pedestrianised areas, have improved accessibility for buses, cyclists and people on foot’.

Subsequently the business case for the Museum at the Town Hall did not stack up and that project did not develop further. Quelle surprise !

It is, therefore, relevant to examine whether opening up the road to two way traffic will further the regeneration of that area. What study has been made of the current uses of the property around the square? Has consultation with the owners established whether their use as office space is highly desirable or is the conversion to quality apartments now more viable?

What data has been taken into account regarding passenger usage following the refurbishment of Hamilton Square station?  Have passengers leaving the station been surveyed as to where they have walked from or are walking to?  Is it established that re-opening that section of road will save the bus operators sufficient costs to justify the investment?

It would be helpful to have such information before committing the level of investment required for the new traffic layout.

The scheme does not appear to represent good value for money when there are many local schemes, throughout Wirral, that the funding could be applied to.

Value for money?.Do you really think that’s the incentive or is it about someone ,somewhere waiting in the wings to make a killing?………………

6 thoughts on “HQ Deja Vu

  1. The Hamilton Quarter action group did nothing for Birkenhead. They sat around and invented idiotic section names like the Antiques Quadrant etc.
    If you want to restore Hamilton Square to its initial glory all that is required is to go to Slatey Road Art Gallery. Take a picture of it from the archives and copy it exactly replacing all the railings and fine flag stones. Hamilton Square once had fine cast iron rain shelters by Cleveland Street. The shelters were dismantled and never appeared again. Probably a conservatory on a ponsy house.
    We do not need consultants on thousands per day to tell us what Hamilton Square looked like as historic documents already exist. By all means refurbish all the square but dont waste money on the finest materials because they wont last five minutes with the light fingered fellows who will take it to the nearest scrap yard.. Likewise, do not make Hamilton Square into an evening attraction as it will become one of the most dangerous places to visit on Merseyside. You cant. Polish a turd as they say.

  2. G’day My Good Lord

    The Wirral “Funny” Bizz whistleblower, (whistleblower 1, Grant Thornton).


    Has just one thing to say on this this Sunday for them to ponder at their churches.

    Lyndale School.



    Ps Have they considered a Sydney style monorail, Opera House like Uncle Joe, or, a “Phil the Very Very Deluded Dill Harbour Bridge” over Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant Wirral Waters.

    Cop that load of rubbish Jimbobs.

    Luv you and Bobby equally L as much as I loved Hamilton Square and Birkenhead Market in the 50’s and 60’s.


  3. Bloody Consultants! Course, in days gone by when Councils up and down the Country were run by those who’d walked in the shoes of the most humble employee and they knew exactly how to deal with something and they could quickly do it because bugger all had been outsourced because the notion of outsourcing everything had never crossed their minds, there was no thought of ever calling in the equivalent of a criminal Mastermind and getting the rotten Consultant to take a bloody butchers, give it some thought and share with us all his wise pear shaped droplets of wisdom.
    Not back then! Back then, where common sense was everything along with a strong grasp upon reality and the appreciation of the value of a quid, nobody ever thought, ‘let’s get some clever bastard in.’
    They couldn’t do it. Not back then, because they knew it was their decision, they were paid to make the decision and thankfully no bloody body had ever thought to themselves, ‘if only a Consultant existed I’d be able to ask them’.
    I mean, at first, when this route of public service decision making was first stumbled upon, some twat must have set himself up as The Consultant. He must have and worse, some fool of a Council Director must have known of this wise twat who was willing, ready and able to do us all a favour and peruse our terribly debilitating problem that was beyond the understanding of the local Chief Executive.
    There must have been a first. There had to be. Don’t tell me that a whole group of these wise and sage like fools came tumbling off the conveyor belt together. Never! I’ll be damned if I accept that theory. They simply don’t germinate in bunches do they? There had to be a pioneering first Consultant. Some slimy, oily, money grabbing wise bastard who just knew that what he knew was worth a great big fat wedge of public money and there was an incompetent bungling idiot holed up in the Council far away who was prepared to pay him and who’d been promoted far to quickly and who’d reached his own personal level of incompetence the day the private sector spotted his weakness and howled, ‘piss off to the public sector and leave us be’.
    Course, there’s a place for the Consultant. The Consultant I recently spoke to for example, who told me that in his expert and wise opinion I needed an endoscopy explaining that he wanted to drug me with rohypnol, dispatch a huge tube, a camera and the film crew down my throat to discover why I was having difficulty swallowing my fifteen pints of ale a day. He was worthy of being called a Consultant. I’ve no problem with him. Mind, I refused the Rohypnol explaining that I had no desire to take any chances. For me the idea that I might one day feature as the ‘taker’ in an internet movie being subjected to manly love by God knows how many fully grown men doing the giving convinced me to opt for a less intrusive anaesthesia.
    If Hamilton Square is to flourish and prosper and be there for future generations to admire and enjoy, get the Council to stop and do nothing. Absolutely nothing. Often doing nothing can be the very best option. Course, doing nothing can be difficult. Especially when ‘they’ want to meddle and pay some twat of a Consultant who once made a living sucking at the teat of the public sector!

  4. G’day Lordsville

    I know this is a bit off topic but the time is now right for “Phil the Very Very Deluded Dill” to come clean.

    Come clean over issues like Wirral “Funny” Bizz and Wirralgate etc. etc.

    It really is the time for Wirral to be open, honest and transparent and for some to stand down, or, as is more common get themselves paid off.

    It would be money well spent long term.

    There is no point moving into the new world of DEVILUTION with a copy book that is already blotted.

    The topic of the copy book will keep being raised like the original sin.

    Trust me.

    To blot one’s copybook means to commit some gaffe that spoils one’s record. It’s mainly a British or Commonwealth phrase, though rather old-fashioned. A look at recent examples shows that it has survived almost exclusively in sports journalism. A typical example appeared in the Racing Post on 19 July 2004: “Westender, last year’s Champion Hurdle runner-up, blotted his copybook in dramatic style when refusing at the first fence of the beginners’ chase and catapulting jockey Timmy Murphy to the ground in the process.”

    I can just see “Phil the Very Very Deluded Dill” being unseated

    I doubt Fartin Lobsterpot will give impartial advice, or, advice he necessarily believes, he won’t care he has a foot in every camp’s payroll it appears.

    If they don’t fix things soon they should not even get a member in the new cabinet let alone be thought suitable to be considered to be metro mayor.

    I do also hope Lordly someone(s) else suddenly retired at last night’s “Clowncillor Crispy Creme Doughnuts” pension meeting.

    Lots more doughnuts are available at the Clown Hall Lordsly.

    That might be a meeting to attend for fun My Leader the pension chair “Clowncillor Crispy Creme Doughnut” is up there or even ahead of the ridiculous buffoon of a chair of the Risk It and Fudge It Mis-Management Committee “Crapapple”.

    Remember “Crapapple” effectively saying to us whistleblowers My L you’ve had your say now go away well “Craps” we ain’t finished yet.



    A real pity My Lovely Jimbobs didn’t send one of his brilliantly hilarious missives about me for you readers enjoyment.

    Luv ya Lordly as much as I feel sincerely sad and sorry for Jimbobs.

    God bless his little cotton socks on his gout infested feet.


  5. G’day Lordsville

    I see Jimbobs has written wonderful things about me again on John “Tarrantino” Brace’s superb blog.

    A magnificent piece of work obviously a highly intelligent and successful person so do get your retinue and workers to give it the once over My L.

    I bet he doesn’t write to you Lordly because I think he knows that you know who he the anonymous coward is.

    His poor ego must be a bit dented if not battered.

    I wonder what his issue really is?

    It couldn’t really be me, a nobody unemployed irreverent Aussie, that no one listens too.

    Or, reads if they have half a brain.

    They just ignore me and pretend Wirral “Funny” Bizz didn’t knock off hundreds and hundreds of thousands of pounds.

    Lockwood/Harbac a figment, I’m a director at Wirral I can do anything I want, of my imagination.

    Oh no it’s not!

    They have also spent probably £200,000.00 defending these beliefs.

    What skin is it off Jimbobs snout do you think Lordsly because they just waste bucket loads on Reno, Shanghai, Grant Thornton one of whom urged “Highbrow” to continue to push the whistleblower cause by the way?

    Now there is a poser who at Grant (give us a £50,000.00 bonus) Thornton would have encouraged “Highbrow” errmmm ????????

    They say fortunately for me any publicity is good publicity little Jimmybobs (just look at the crazy golf and Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant Wirral Waters that “Phil the Very Very Deluded Dill” writes in their local rubbish propaganda sheet) so do please write to The Good Lord Jimbobs about me and Wirral “Funny” Bizz and as they say you will feel better if you share your issues.

    An issue shared is an issue halved Jimbobs and if you ever want to get into local politics I am sure you would be welcomed with open arms by “Phil the Very Very Deluded Dill” and his boss “Ankles”.

    Local Labor need more anonymous heroes like your great self JimmyBobs, someone who doesn’t lie, cheat or obfuscate.

    You don’t have your own transport do you it’s always handy after meetings to share a pint or two after delivering some leaflets on the way to the pub?



    Ps I am so sick of writing this tripe My Great Lord so please have a word with Ecca and ask him to sort it.

    I am sure the Wirralgate gang would like that sorted too L see I don’t just think about myself.

    By the way what is the word on the ssshhhhh secret, don’t mention it, Rosemary and Thymme Report?

    I do hope she recorded the phone calls, like Wirralgate.


    • After Frank’s faux-pas when he mentioned us at some dreary meeting we understand that the powers-that-shouldn’t-be are under strict instructions not to give us the oxygen of publicity or indulge in unseemly public brawling.Therefore the likelihood of any response is remote.The other thing to remember is that we will always have the final say on this blog and as we all know the council control freaks don’t like that one little bit.

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