Cartoons and Puppets

PuppetMaster

We were treated this week to what Wirral Council are calling their “annual health check”. I asked Her Ladyship if we were to give an assessment what might it be ?.

” Do Not Resuscitate” she drawled.

However undaunted by our barbs Council “leader” Power Boy Pip Davies demonstrates his unlimited capacity for delusion by jauntily declaring :

“When we agreed the Wirral Plan in July 2015, we identified 20 Pledges to outline our ambition for Wirral.  Reporting our progress is an important part of being an open, transparent and accountable local authority.”

No laughing at the back please. Open , transparent and accountable ? – when each and every week we report the fact that Wirral Council is anything but. Oh how we long for the day when they actually are open,transparent and accountable and His Lordship and Ladyship can finally retire to their villa in the south of France.

Meanwhile for buzzword bingo lovers ( Empowering Locally – Leading Collectively , Acting Regionally- Organising Internally etc; etc; ) the Wirral Plan report is here :

https://www.wirral.gov.uk/sites/default/files/all/About%20the%20council/Wirral%20Plan/Wirral%20Plan%202020%20Annual%20Report%202015%20-%202016.pdf

However joy was unconfined at Leaky Towers when we learned we were also being treated to a movie double bill to accompany the launch of the report. It took us back to the days when nanny would take us to the Plaza on Borough Road in Birkenhead .There would always be a cartoon before the main feature . And so it is here with a  U-rated childishly patronising  animation before leading man Power Boy Pip takes to the screen like a matinee idol on the skids.

You can find an animation detailing our progress here

You can find a video of Cllr Phil Davies talking about our progress here

The animated feature is not for anyone on a New Year/New Me diet as its reliance on pie charts might be a bit subliminal. However suffice to say all the usual suspects are here – dodgy statistics , golf resort , potholes, streetlights , litter , dog crap etc; . There are also the usual bogus claims about “Wirral Waters” – a Department of Education funded college campus and allowing Asif “Massive” Hamid to throw up a contact centre at the back of Egerton House with no opposition from the  organisation running Egerton House – the Wirral Chamber of Commerce who’s Chairman just happens to be one  Asif Hamid – does not “Wirral Waters” make.

However the undoubted highlight is the performance of Power Boy Pip starring in his very own video. To our , admittedly jaundiced eyes , he has all the gravitas of a Spitting Image puppet made flesh – all foam-faced insincerity whilst reading unconvincingly from a teleprompter . We could almost see Frankenfield pulling the strings.

We’d like to pitch a  suggestion for Wirral Council’s next video  where they finally demonstrate that they do indeed take openness , transparency and accountability seriously.They could show  that they have finally dealt appropriately with some errant councillors of ill repute and  in which case  the video be a case of suspended animation!.

11 thoughts on “Cartoons and Puppets

  1. No mention of pay offs,redundancies,closure of kids special schools,one remaining respite centre and millions on agency staff and consultants.
    Funny also no announcement on improvement in regards to anti social behaviour as they know it is through the roof .

  2. G’day Lordly

    Tragedy

    Bobby47 announced on “Tarrantino’s” site he is hanging up his quill.

    The biggest loss Wirral has had since the war.

    I have been pissed ever since I heard the dreadful news last night.

    And then a miracle.

    I haven’t read your post yet but I did flick to “Phil the Very Very Deluded Dill” and please correct me if I am wrong but has Fartin Lobsterpot given the messiah of Wirral three, yes three, not one, not two but three HALOS.

    No wonder the man can’t possibly ever be open, honest and transparent with three halos he can do what he wants and would qualify to wear his lying, cheating scum bag, stinking ash tray AdderleyDadderlyDooLally’s football shirt.

    Ooroo

    James

    Ps I bet they luv his work in Belgium and Luxembourg My Lovely.

    Luv you Lordsville so much but will miss Bobby the legend, our loss but Hereford’s gain.
    XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

      • No he won’t! This tapper of vowels and consonants is done and the only reason I’m adding to the mighty Wirral Leaks now is to say thank you for providing this forum that’s allowed me to shovel out my pointless and endless conveyor belt of drivel and tripe that’s been of no benefit to anyone, least of all bloody me.
        Never again! I’m done and I don’t care what the consequences are. What’smore, it’s of no concern to me if her Ladyship is dispatched down the A49 with the single task to ‘get me the fat fool to log in and post again’. I ain’t doing it. I’ll be damned if I do!
        I don’t care if her Ladyship tips up on the banks of the Wye whilst I’m fishing for barbel and she’s decided to bring with her the Tranmere Troupe of Morris Dancers who’ve decided to Wassail around me and disturb me bloody fishing.
        I’ll tell her, ‘Take your pagan worshipping brethren back up the A49 and leave me be. When it comes to Wassailing, you lot from the Wirral are in Hereford where we’ve been Wassailing for centuries and the last thing we need is another bunch of white wearing, bell and spoon laden, ribbon tossing deluded fools who think pagan worship is appropriate. Clear off and perform your dance outside Ring ‘o’ Bells and see what the ale supping lads think of your desperate need for a good fruit harvest’.
        I ain’t doing it anymore. Her Ladyship can offer me a gift of a half pint of mixed maggots, a kilo of Clams recently harvested from the Mersey and a bag of Scratchings produced by a master friar after the recent slaughter of a fully matured razorback black spot Sow and still, even then, after all of that, I’ll tell her Ladyship, ‘be gone. Go bother another. I’m done. I’m fishing for barbel and I’d appreciate a little privacy whilst I ponder how fish think’.
        Course, trying to think like a fish is a dangerous business. Look at Troy Tempest off of Stingray. He spent an entire career trying to think like a fish. Hasn’t worked since.!
        Take care all. My very best wishes and warmest regards. I’m done!

      • Her Ladyship could be the Aqua Marina to your Troy Tempest!.
        We all at Leaky Towers hope it isn’t true – but if that is your decision we have to respect it.
        Thank you for your inspirational streams of consciousness.
        Best wishes from everyone at Leaky Towers.

  3. Thanks L

    For using Her Ladyship the way they use the poor (well probably not so poor) “Chamber Potty” cos of her other half, who is probably bessies with Uncle Joe, to do the seductress thing.

    I think Bobby will like that when he’s playing with his ferret.

    Still not sober enough to take in the animation and what Frankenstein is about on your post but what is always noticeable is “Phil the Very Very Deluded Dill’s” ties, both of them.

    It shows how he is a hard working, working class boy, but, a bit cleverer than average and has two ties.

    I bet when he goes to the golf resort or the yacht club he wears his numerous Duchamp ties.

    Ooroo

    James

    Ps His ties must knock em dead in Reno and Shanghai highlighting his great big bulbous purple head.

    Lordy get Her Ladyship to Hereford post-haste.

    Luv ya XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  4. Have a look at page 35 Organising Internally. It’s the biggest load of nonsense you will ever read. Same old bullshit cut and pasted from many other previous reports. How many times will this organisation re-organise internally?

  5. “open, transparent and accountable local authority” – they’re having a laugh?!?!?! The best part of 10 years and FOI to extract a copy of the 2006 Capita Symonds report on the viability for a golf resort in Hoylake isn’t exactly fast accountability! No wonder they didn’t want it in the public arena, £275,000 spent to tell them “nice idea chaps, but the planning isues make it more trouble than it’s worth!” Still, there’s nothing like the “NO, NO, NO I’M NOT LISTENING!” approach to get you through 15 years of self-denial.

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