We were treated this week to what Wirral Council are calling their “annual health check”. I asked Her Ladyship if we were to give an assessment what might it be ?.
” Do Not Resuscitate” she drawled.
However undaunted by our barbs Council “leader” Power Boy Pip Davies demonstrates his unlimited capacity for delusion by jauntily declaring :
“When we agreed the Wirral Plan in July 2015, we identified 20 Pledges to outline our ambition for Wirral. Reporting our progress is an important part of being an open, transparent and accountable local authority.”
No laughing at the back please. Open , transparent and accountable ? – when each and every week we report the fact that Wirral Council is anything but. Oh how we long for the day when they actually are open,transparent and accountable and His Lordship and Ladyship can finally retire to their villa in the south of France.
Meanwhile for buzzword bingo lovers ( Empowering Locally – Leading Collectively , Acting Regionally- Organising Internally etc; etc; ) the Wirral Plan report is here :
However joy was unconfined at Leaky Towers when we learned we were also being treated to a movie double bill to accompany the launch of the report. It took us back to the days when nanny would take us to the Plaza on Borough Road in Birkenhead .There would always be a cartoon before the main feature . And so it is here with a U-rated childishly patronising animation before leading man Power Boy Pip takes to the screen like a matinee idol on the skids.
You can find an animation detailing our progress here
You can find a video of Cllr Phil Davies talking about our progress here
The animated feature is not for anyone on a New Year/New Me diet as its reliance on pie charts might be a bit subliminal. However suffice to say all the usual suspects are here – dodgy statistics , golf resort , potholes, streetlights , litter , dog crap etc; . There are also the usual bogus claims about “Wirral Waters” – a Department of Education funded college campus and allowing Asif “Massive” Hamid to throw up a contact centre at the back of Egerton House with no opposition from the organisation running Egerton House – the Wirral Chamber of Commerce who’s Chairman just happens to be one Asif Hamid – does not “Wirral Waters” make.
However the undoubted highlight is the performance of Power Boy Pip starring in his very own video. To our , admittedly jaundiced eyes , he has all the gravitas of a Spitting Image puppet made flesh – all foam-faced insincerity whilst reading unconvincingly from a teleprompter . We could almost see Frankenfield pulling the strings.
We’d like to pitch a suggestion for Wirral Council’s next video where they finally demonstrate that they do indeed take openness , transparency and accountability seriously.They could show that they have finally dealt appropriately with some errant councillors of ill repute and in which case the video be a case of suspended animation!.