Readers may remember last year’s flooding incidents across Wirral and Moreton in particular and the subsequent devastation wreaked on people’s homes.


Well we’ve been leaked (!)  a subsequent report into Flood-gate . As the Lead Local Flood Authority  this  investigation was required to be undertaken by Wirral Council in accordance with  the Flood and Water Management Act (2010) so they could review how they and other statutory authorities such as United Utilities and the Environment Agency had responded to the emergency.

So how did they do ?.

You (and no doubt the sodden homeowners) won’t be surprised to hear  – not very well.

The report tells us :

‘Information about the scale and severity of the flooding was slow to surface and reach key decision makers’ and ‘misconceptions about roles and responsibilities of the different agencies impacted on the effectiveness of the flood incident response’


Yes folks – this translates as all these highly paid executives in various agencies were , er, out of their depth and nobody knew what they were supposed to be doing!.

But fear not there’s the usual heading in the report entitled “Lessons Learnt” so in the time honoured tradition everything will be fine until the next time …….and the time after that ……and the time after that.

In the mean time the various agencies have drawn up an Action Plan as ‘many residents consider themselves unprepared/unaware of the risks of flooding’ and therefore they will be  ‘promoting the growth of community based resilience’ .

Somewhat like a flood victim we’ve waded our way through this verbiage and it translates to us as :

” Nothing to do with us guv . If you live on a flood plain it’s your own fault – get used to it…….”


15 thoughts on “Flood-gate

  1. And we ‘trust’ these Muppets to understand the implications of changing the water table on a flood plain which is to site the proposed ‘golf resort’ at Hoylake? Do they have any understanding about modelling techniques for flood prediction? Do they know how much it costs to set up such modelling, either in physical or simulated conditions? I think we know the answer to that, probably along the same lines as the smoke & mirrors that went on over the Fender Lane housing estate….

  2. A much older friend of mine used to tell me stories about “the best job he ever had”. It was during his early teenage years and he really loved it. It involved delivering milk to the people of Moreton. In a boat.

  3. It appears we have a benign inspectorate who are unable to effectively deal with the conditions already in existence, before they even consider the potential ramifications of a major change to the water table in a single area (outer Hoylake farmland on the flood land) that has the potential to damage a larger peripheral area (Moreton, Meols, Leasowe)! With WMBC on one side and the Environment Agency on the other, I am not left feeling confident anybody really knows what they are doing.

    Possibly the result of too many office meetings stuffed with jargon and buzz words and not enough actual real world analysis, like the rest of us do when we walk these areas.

    You couldn’t make this stuff up, you really couldn’t.

  4. The next disaster in the making is the proposed development of the Cadbury site at Moreton for proposed housing up to 400 properties below sea level what is Wirral council thinking & what is the environment agency involvement to ensure preventing flooding. Mark my words its a disaster in the making as sure as my name is King Canute remember Phil Davies mark my words.

  5. G’day Leaksy


    So “Eccles Cake Face” the floodgates are open so rid wirral with a tiny w of the rest of the sludge, slurry and dross.

    You are rid of the incompetent AdderleyDadderleyDooLally the super duper director of stagnantion, “The Chamber Potty” and “The Garbage Lady”, also the evil evil barstard of a stab your mates in the back “The Pretend Friend” and good riddens to the evil welsh leprechaun now whilst the gates are open..

    Rid wirral of “Phil the Very Very Deluded Dill”, “Ankles” and Phil’s Ugly Twin Brother with the Comb Over that is as ridiculous as AdderleyDadderleyDooLally’s ‘football shirt’. The Wirralgate three should just be out the gates and into Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant Wirral Waters.

    Ecc’s their is no need to rid wirral of she who thinks they named an art gallery after she will put her big foot in her foul mouth before Xmas.

    Then Blinking CEO you, me and wirral will sleep much easier at night.



    Lordy, The CEO has the chance now to fess up on Wirral “Funny” Bizz before the new clowncil settles and we can all feel less guilty about AdderleyDadderleyDooLally saying the £2,000,000,00 the idiots knocked off was not our money anyway and maybe Europe will not think we are as dishonest as some have acted.


  6. We at the Wirral Society are keeping a close eye on the Cadbury site, do you know if that actual site has a history of flooding since the factory was built? Obviously surrounding areas of Moreton have been hit hard historically and recently but the factory site, I don’t know about. Apparently, when the planning permission was given for more homes around the Leasowe area and the Fender Farm development, we were assured that new drainage had been installed so that the Birkett could take the excess rain water directly to outlets at the sea wall at Leasowe. This was one of the ways they satisfied the drainage issues at planning stage. We opposed the Fender Farm development but the developers won. Unfortunately, the council are falling well foul of national housebuilding requirements and the pressure is going to get worse in the immediate future, unless housing stock requirement levels are reduced drastically. They will argue that the Cadbury site is ideal as ex-industrial brownfield and on paper, it does tick all the boxes for a council trying desperately to meet new building targets.

    • Long sentence warning Bobby47…

      The Fender Farm development arrived at a time when house prices were relatively low, and if you were a senior person say, or a councillor in the know at Wirral Council with some cash to spare, you could invest in a few dwellings, having made sure your investment was ‘protected’ at the planning stage and flog the property to poorer saps paying a much higher dividend further down the line, having sat there and watched house prices appreciate in the housing boom the city had predicted / engineered / got stinking rich on (again).

  7. Oh Lordy

    You couldn’t make this shit up!

    “The Pretend Friend” looks like being the thicker than the chair, Chair, of the Fudge It and Risk It Mis-Management Committee.

    The planner and plotter of making Wirral “Funny” Bizz and £2,000,000.00 knock off go unresolved for now five years has been REWARDED with “Crapapples” beloved post.

    He will have to get a bus to take the drunks in labor to the pub after the meetings, or does that come with the job?

    Maybe it is just a ploy to keep him awake in meetings he hasn’t not fallen asleep in a meeting for four years.

    Wake up Taffy!

    He started to resolve Wirral “Funny” Bizz, or, said he would after meeting “Highbrow” at his cheap cider club with stuffed animals on the walls but then sided with the serial asset stripper AdderleyDadderleyDooLally the super duper duper Director of Stagnation.

    Probably had their meetings at “The Spotty Blue Teapot.

    Five years on the tiny welsh leprechaun has left missus bilong him “Nurse Rat” in the “Kitchen Cabinet” continuing the families filth in the name of a few bob in allowances.



    Lordy he has been around “Phil the Very Very Deluded Dill” “Ankles” and “Phil’s Ugly Twin Brother with the Comb Over from Hell” long enough to know all the crass, crud and filth and smile, wink and stab you in the back, friend or foe.


  8. Ps Leaks

    “The Pretend Friend has told “Highbrow” on numerous occasions that he didn’t understand accounting.

    Ecca Ecca Ecca



    Luv ya more XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  9. Course we all know who’s behind the flooding don’t we. We’ve all got an idea who’s decided to gift the Wirral more water than it wants, needs or asks for. We’ve all had the odd emerging thought that if you fuck about with the local water table, begin building thousands of tiny dwelling boxes on a flood plain in the hope that people will live in them and fund the Council’s deluded plan to fuck it all up, that God will get involved and sort it all out.
    This is the work of God. I know! Many of you will read this and howl, ‘Fortyseven dared to say what we’ve all been thinking that God has cast his omnipresent eye over the Council Plan and concluded, ‘thick twats. Fuck about with my water table will you. Not on my watch. I’m now going to set in motion a chain of events that’ll give you more water than you needed. That’ll sort you out’.
    And this is the way Jehovah works. He could quite easily deposit a trillion billion gallons of water upon the Wirral in no time at all. It’d be easy for him, or her, both sexes are equally capable of being God. But not God, he goes about things in an entirely different and roundabout way. What he does is he whips up a bit of a storm, saturates his water table and once the houses are built the shit and the piss that the happy new Council Tax occupants generate suddenly cannot navigate the inadequate sewage system that’s in place to cater for those who’ve been given the opportunity to live in an area that’s unsuitable for conurbation.
    Then, once the piss, the shit and the water delivered upon our heads by the storm that God whipped up becomes a very evident problem, we all go hurtling off to Church begging God to help us out. Course, God could stop the deluge and ease our pain pretty much straight away. But he doesn’t, he keeps fucking giving us more bloody water so that, in the end, the bastard penny drops and we all howl, ‘hallelujah! The Lord has shown us the way. From hereon, we’ll learn our lessons and not fuck about with the ecological balance and piss about with the Wirral flood plains and their many associated water tables that God gifted us in the first bloody place.’

  10. Information slow to reach the agencies.
    That’s what happens when you make 11 of your Emergency Control staff redundant and replace them with agency staff who haven’t a clue.

  11. It costs bloody thousands to do realistic flood predictions on land, either as a scaled working physical model or as a computer model, so I’ve been told. This will have to be done to have any chance of releasing Greenbelt for building, but I bet they’ll squirm out of it on the Cadbury site because of the existing previous use.

  12. G’day Leaks

    I am seriously starting to worry now for the people of wirral with a small w.

    “Crapapple” as the main man , Chair of The Fudge It and Risk It Mis-Management Committee could just be manipulated like a little puppet……… muppet.

    My fear is that “The Pretend Friend” will stab anyone in the back and in his own words to “Highbrow” is that “you have to cover your tracks and have an audit trail boyo”.

    He has slept around every nook and cranny in that dump in Brighton Street, saved a fortune on his heating bill around the corner, and has ruined many a person and always ensures every step is covered.

    Getting “Highbrow” a solicitor for his industrial tribunal was one of his lowest acts whilst he gave him a right rogering……yep….his mate!!!!!!!

    That’s how low he went he got “Highbrow” a useless solicitor, I think union connected.



    And heaven forbid what missus bilong him will do to the disadvantaged of wirral now she won’t have to focus on keeping him awake at “The Kitchen Cabinet” meetings.

    And, heaven forbid what she will do when teaming up with her that thinks they named an art gallery after her.

    Luv you Lordsville and please keep an eye on him and her they are truly dross and just for a few quid in allowances.


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