Wirral’s Next Top Model

Bad Hair day 012

Entries welcome for our Eric’s bad hair day caption competition. Picture courtesy of John Brace 

 

We’ve only just caught up with Monday’s Wirral Council Employment & Appointments Committee after giving you the heads up last week that Head of Housing  Ian Platt’s tidy retirement package was being discussed.

Needless to say nothing to report on that score as prolific film-maker John Brace was politely asked to leave before that golden handshake was signed off.

However we were treated to a rare speaking engagement by reclusive CEO Eric “Feeble” Robinson who introduced his “New Operating Model” to replace his predecessor Graham Burgess’s “Non Operating Model”. We say this as there seemed to be an acknowledgement that Burgess’s appointment of so-called Super Directors was an expensive and wasteful extra tier of management . Council “leader” Phil “Power Boy Pip” Davies seemed keen to draw a line under Burgess’s embarrassing tenure by declaring forlornly ” we are where we are” whilst repeatedly using his Deputy Ann McLachlan ‘s catchphrase ” going forward”. No wonder she sat virtually mute for the entire meeting – the one trick pony had lost her trick.

Meanwhile Stressed Eric was proving his charisma by-pass operation had been a complete success as he appeared to be playing a game of  buzzword bingo on Mogadon. We think the term “Strategic Hub” says it all.

http://democracy.wirral.gov.uk/documents/s50035635/New%20Operating%20Model%20Report.pdf

What was dispiriting for us to observe was the way that the lurch towards a business model which prioritises putting public services into the hands of private companies was so enthusiastically received by one and all despite the fact that Wirral Council is NOT a business.

Just a thought : how about employing managers who are truly committed to public service and not to their over-inflated paypackets?.

Whilst Stressed Eric briefly mentioned the C word – “culture”  that is – he swiftly moved on to more  familiar territory and concentrated on far less problematic areas such as “structures” and “processes”.

There were a few other interesting observations to make along the way such as Department of Adult Social Services Director Graham Hobgoblinson bagging himself an  Assistant Director – as let’s face it he needs all the help he can get  despite , with the impending closure of Girtrell Court  , finally getting rid of all in-house services. Let’s hope he has better success than with previous DASS Assistant Directors!

We also noted that  Joe Blott’s exit strategy has been put on hold and he will now be slotted in to the “New Operating Model” structure despite questions being asked about his “skill set” ( I think we can read between the lines what is meant by that can’t we?) . Of course Councillors must now be aware that Blott is calling the shots as he’s recently joined the Surjit Tour Job For Life Club. It must be the aspiration of every Wirral Council senior manager to wheedle your way into a position of power by means of your knowledge – which is less about knowledge of how to do you job and more about knowing where the bodies are buried……….   

 

 

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10 thoughts on “Wirral’s Next Top Model

  1. I fed Eric’s “NewOperatingModel.pdf” into my trusted word checker / counter … applied a blob of WD40, then waited with bated breath at the output end …

    The word ‘deliver / delivery / delivering’ appeared 62 times in its 15 pages.

    • G’day Leaky and Paul

      Good spot Paul.

      As Burgeski is now known as “Burge(r with the lot plus 25 mistakes in seven second)ss.

      “Ecca” aka “Eccles Cake Face” aka “Spotty Dog” aka “The Invisible Man” will forever be now known as “The wirral Delivery Man on £200,000.00 plus”.

      Ooroo

      James

      Luv ya more Lordsville XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  2. I am worried that Eric is still alive, previously whenever there was something in the local rags it was accompanied by Frank Drebens picture aka Comrade Burgeski. Now there is nothing only the ones when he was appointed and this current one.Is he still here or is he kept in the attic like Cathy (Heathcliffe’s wife)?!

    • We think you’ve got the wrong Bronte. Do you mean Mrs Rochester in Jane Eyre?.However we entirely agree with you on media darling Burgesski. We still have nightmares about that “What Really Matters” video – remember that ? .

  3. What does really matter??? Fuck me, it’s not us Joe Public, so what is it? All that consultation bollocks made up by Emma Degg to make herself more important. Fuckin shambles. What’s the point of asking someone’s opinion if you don’t give a fuck about it? Eric Robinson doesn’t actually inspire you does he? By the way, has he moved to Wirral yet? We all knew those fuckin Super Directors were a load of bollocks but no one listened. Wirral Council is the public sectors version of BHS. Run by fuckin rogues!

  4. G’day Leaks

    Can’t wait to see how the face expert that is everyone’s favourite face reader Bobby47 reads the face of “The wirral Delivery Man on £200,000.00 plus”.

    Don’t be too hard Bobster he looks like he’s on the edge.

    Ooroo

    James

    I bet Paul Cardin was surprised to see him above desk level.

    Luv ya work L keep it coming XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    • We think he means address the endemic corruption and dishonesty coursing through the veins of Wirral Council. But he hasn’t got the balls to do it – have you seen how much he gets paid?

      • Hello Wirral Leaks

        I get his pay to £209,000+ pa (not including Returning Officer fees for the Local, Police Commissioner & Referendum elections).

        If you look through the skills and experience requirements to staff up this ‘new operating model’ which isn’t new, just the standard reaction from someone who now has been to the LGA and acquired the HBOOCTM qualification.

        Oh, sorry…not ‘has been’, but Has Been On One Course Too Many…would have learned more at the YMCA. Presumably all of the listed attributes in the JDs (which seem to lack Essential criteria?), are entirely absent from the existing staff, so what does that tell us all…who is lined up for what?

  5. It’s perfectly possible that this fella, fixated and obsessed with the words, evolving, emerging and transformation, is actually undergoing transformation by evolving and emerging into a Cabbage White butterfly.
    That’s right, he’s beginning to undergo dramatic change, particularly around the top of the cranium and if they ain’t two antenna springing out and up from the head, I’m no patriot and the next rounds on me. No longer the grub, this fella is about to become Mothman.
    Course, I could be wrong, and if I am and it’s highly likely, then I can say with some certainty his wife no longer cares how he looks when he leaves the kitchen in the morning. If she cared, as my wife still does, despite her deep hatred of my fat face, she’d take the can of hairspray and flatten those two bits that convinced me to author the first to paragraphs of pointless bollocks that suggested he’s about to become a winged insect.

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