Put out the flags! Strike up the band ! – not that it was delivered to Leaky Towers but we’ve finally got our hands on an actual paper copy of the second issue of the Wirral Council newspaper Wirral View .
And was it worth the wait we hear you cry ? – “not so much” we reply ! . Seemingly in an attempt to avert the attention of Department of Communities and Local Government minister Marcus Jones who takes a dim view of such publications Wirral Council seem to to have reversed the old Daily Mail ad slogan and made Wirral View – ” A snoozepaper , not a newspaper” . Dear Lord but it’s dull.
The tone is set on the front page with an exclusive story about road gritters. Now we’re sure the guys in the picture are lovely chaps and they do a wonderful job but it’s a bit of a literal and metaphorical fall back down to earth after the fireworks on the front page of the first issue . The partly obscured word “SPREADING” (no laughing at the back) seems to a subliminal message as even by issue 2 Wirral View seems to spreading itself too thin ( down to 28 pages from 32 and no advertising!) . Her Ladyship was most disappointed there wasn’t even a follow up recipe to the spicy lentil & tomato soup recipe from the first issue.
Therefore to avoid that empty feeling for those who feel their information deficit has yet to be filled we’ve come up with five festive fun things to do with your copy of Wirral View. And so with a cry of : ” Mummy dearest pass me my superman pyjamas I’m going to the spare room to crank one out for Wirral Leaks ....” here dear reader is the list we cranked out just for you ! :
- RETURN TO SENDER
Buy some extra stamps from the Wirral Scout & Guide Charity Post and return the unwanted gift back .
2. PARTY BUNTING
Make your own party bunting – or better still your own party political bunting by personalising it with pictures of your favourite local politicians !
3. CHRISTMAS CRACKERS
Do as Wirral View suggest and recycle card and paper from around your home! Forget health and safety regulations (or should that be elf and safety !- geddit?) and craft your own crackers from an empty loo roll. Add some glitter to bring a bit of sparkle to your mundane existence!
4. PARTY HATS
What better accessory to go with the wacky Christmas jumper than a Wirral View party hat ! You can surprise everyone at the Wirral Council office party by showing what a funster you really are under that dour exterior . But remember ! – no photocopying your bottom or subsidising your festivities by raiding the petty cash tin!- or Internal Audit will be after you. Oops! no sorry they missed that particular party trick didn’t they?
5. HAVE YOURSELF A VINTAGE CHRISTMAS
After a trip to the local foodbank to pick up a slightly dented tin of Spam for Christmas dinner why not go the whole hog and get into the austerity spirit of rationing and make do and mend. Relive those post-war , pre-Izal days of yore and get all nostalgic about outside lavs and using strips of old newspaper for loo roll!