Tourism Awards : Wirral-style


Whilst talking tourism we’re not talking about Wirral Council’s Head of Law Surjit Tour and his own personal philosophy here – especially when we dread to think what that might be! No – we’re talking about tourists coming to Wirral or more accurately people who find themselves lost by taking the wrong exit on to the M53!

Now don’t get us wrong there are many lovely places to visit on Wirral but judging by recent reports some parts of the peninsula are submerged in a sea of deprivation and crime . So forgive us if we’re not taken in by the announcement of yet another glittering ceremony celebrating commercial enterprises favoured by the Wirral Chamber of Commerce. Indeed, we’re left wondering where does their CEO , pouting ‘Princess’ Paula Basnett , fit all her frocks ? The way things are going Wirral Council are going to have to hand over another building at peppercorn rent so she can store them all!

As a result of this announcement yet another correspondent joins us on the road to enlightenment to give us their considered views on the matter .

We just need to declare an interest here and let you know that we turned down a nomination for Leaky Towers in the ‘Hidden Gem’ award category as frankly we try to avoid any contact with riff-raff – no matter how well dressed or well connected! Moreover we wouldn’t want our readers to think that we received an award for the same reasons as ‘The Spotty Blue Teapot’ or ‘Mere Brook House’. Just sayin’……………..

Dear Julian,
Last night I read the Wirral Globe report on the upcoming Tourism Awards. I am
sure you are familiar with this back slapping piece of crap that appears to be
sponsored by Wirral Chamber of Commerce. (Asif in the photo, poor girl having to
pose with him!)

What intrigued me were the financial details. £385,000,000.00 per year from
8,000,000 visitors for good old Wirral.
I ‘Googled’ tourism figures for Wirral and they appear to stand up, but only in
the greater Liverpool area and I can’t decide if the figures are for Wirral or
the greater Liverpool area!
Now I am sure you have a calculator at hand so you will see that the figures
quoted from Wirral are that 21917 people per week visited Wirral spending £43.75
each. What a load off bollocks! In the words of somebody famous ‘I don’t believe
I would suggest that these figures have been compiled from footfall figures at
bars, restaurants, soon to be closed leisure centres, Tranmere Rovers and the
odd hotel that does weddings and WCC black tie nights, pubs and anywhere else
that might have somebody pop in.
If that is the case then these are not tourism figures but local people going
about their daily business.
I leave my thoughts in your capable hands and would suggest you pop down to the
bookies and put a fiver on ‘The Wro’ in West Kirby winning ‘Bar of the Year’.
Once again, keep up the good work.

P.S. Forgot to say I didn’t realise that Tony Jones is the Wirral tourism champion,ha ha!


14 thoughts on “Tourism Awards : Wirral-style

  1. ‘Jonah’ Jones will soon lose his portfolio of tourism development if the parking plans go ahead, Wirrals idea of development is to close down and sell off to builders!

    • Tony Tones the ‘tourism champion’ he is the guy who helped f..k the New Brighton lifeboat crew……… Granty are you listening? How about sticking it in yer Inferno….

  2. G’day Leaks

    Can’t wait to get over Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant wirral Waters tomorrow to watch the heavyweights.

    Does that count as tourism?

    I believe they should have a Clowncil Persons Awards Prize at these ridiculous awards ceremonies.

    Every clowncil person should get them out and put them all on the table.

    Every ticket and every passport that has been paid for by the taxpayers.

    The prize could be a one way ticket with every trips trio AdderleyDadderleyDooLally, “The Chamber Potty” and “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive and Deluded Dill”.



    I do hate writing this shit Lordy so the sooner they sort out Wirral “Funny” Bizz the better.


  3. Interestingly, the WCoC is positioning itself to take on the Wirral Council portfolio for Tourism, in my view. This is why they now run the Tourism awards as well as the Business awards. Speaking of which there is a vacant lifeboat station somewhere in a coastal location, that WCoC may be gifted by Cllr Phil Davies, as the Tourism portfolio is handed over from Cllr Tony Jones, along with the council budgets and staff.

    In terms of public protection, there are now far greater perils on land in Wirral, than will be faced at sea. That is obviously Cllr Tony Jones political focus after joining the landlocked Council administration mindset. Looking landwards rather than seawards, where the RNLI volunteer crews do actually make a huge, extremely beneficial contribution to groups and individuals.

    Wirral Council has become a wasteland for talented, competent, highly skilled individuals interested in public service. And what has led to management deciding it no longer really matters about saving lives at sea just off New Brighton? Ego, political power and flexing political muscles is obviously much more important than that, wouldn’t you agree?

    As for parking charges…

      • I am shocked by what Dr Robert and yourself, Lord Leaky, have to say concerning Councillor Tones and his landlocked view of the world – and it’s implications… I thought he was just a b*****d….now I have so much more to contemplate.

        As for Granty, well he is just an additional theme I am warming to…He’s the one who was going on about ‘the truth’ in his Inferno. So following the excellent example of James, the Aussie, I simply repeat myself to Granty and say ……’tell the fecking truth’ (about the sacked lifeboat crew) – in your Inferno.

    • G’day Doc and Lordy

      After a week of watching massive wastes of public money and another week to follow I am sensing and seeing more and more

      A growing number of people who would join a group of people to gather in the aim of stopping the enormous, noxious, toxic, contagious waste of public funds to save people’s reputations after they have time and time again just done the wrong thing and won’t just say “I made a mistake”.

      I made a mistake in trusting Basnett and Adderley.

      “Highbrow” made a mistake in trusting “The Pretend Friend” and “Nurse Rat Missus bilong The Pretend Friend”.

      Everyone made a mistake in trusting “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive and Deluded Dill” who still hasn’t replied to “Highbrow” from meeting of 19 December.




      Stay on it Doc.

      You too beautiful L XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

      • James, I would have made a mistake trusting Dave Green (former Head of Highways) and Garry Owen (former head of HR and one time UNISON full timer *), and to be clear, I never did. Even if I had, that trust would have been proven to be misplaced later.

        I’ve witnessed for myself another brand of “Tourism” and can confirm it to be alive, kicking and making itself publicly known as we speak. A long list of persons of senior standing are keen to make it very clear, and in public, that they will go the extra mile and offer up their reputations to protect a recently emerged form of “Tourism”.

        * It’s strange how working in UNISON, ostensibly defending your workmates, can become a reliable route to ‘better things’ – and how this path has become a trusty rock of “career advancement” in an ocean of mistrust…

        Garry Owen
        Graham Burgess
        Diane Kelly

      • G’day Lordy, Doc and Paul

        Just spending the last week over Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant wirral Waters I learnt of 2 more cover ups at the shit hole in Wallasey.

        What the fuck are 64 Clowncillors being paid for?

        I wonder how much sludge I will learn about this coming week?



        They really are despicable and not fit for any purpose they just do as their dishonest power crazed leaders tell them for £8,000.00.

        God forbid.

        God forbid (that) his parents should ever find out. (Definition of “God forbid” from the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary & Thesaurus © Cambridge University Press)

        They are a disgrace.


        loss of reputation or respect as the result of a dishonourable action.

        Luv you to the moon and back The Good Lord of wirral XXXXXXXXXX

  4. G’day Leaks

    Before I go to bed so I am super fresh in the morning I would just like to encourage everyone interested to do some tourism tomorrow and get to that court house over Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant wirral Waters.

    Take your pick which courtroom you listen in to I think wbc were in three last week.

    Or, was that wbc or WC?



    See ya there my darling L XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    See ya there “Highbrow” “Paul” “Martin” “Wendy” “Tarrantino” “Leaky” “Doc” “Interested” “Baxter” et al

  5. We love you dearly. That’s all I have to say. Keep up the amazing and brilliant work. We used to do something similar when we were T &G shop stewards working at Apex Trust Ltd. Called gossip in the locker. We nearly got sacked but it was worth it at the time. Seriously good stuff.

    Best wishes the great unwashed


    • I will be indulging in Court Tourism myself today.

      Will be viewing the Tour of Wirral for starters, mayhap a Blott on the Landscape, the famous Ever Sheds fabled as akin to the Augean stables needing a perpetual mucking out, and live inhope for a rare sighting of a press reporter.

  6. Pingback: Tourist Trap | Wirralleaks

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