When I Get Older

Toilet door

Pity the poor rank and file staff at Wirral Council who have to encounter these utterly bizarre posters in the Wallasey Town Hall toilets after they’ve attempted to relieve themselves (by whatever means) from the endless bullshit they have to endure on a daily basis.

The first thing to say is we don’t understand the graphics ( we’d like to think that the IQ of  Wirral Council staff reaches double figures but we may be wrong if they’re quite happy to be patronised by these cartoon figures); and the second thing to say is we don’t understand the demographics. Who exactly is this poster supposed to appeal to ? – a turban -wearing, kiss-curled, impressively bearded individual wearing a lime green double breasted jacket?

Clearly any attempt to address the main public health issue on Wirral – the huge disparity in the mortality rates between east and west Wirral – is studiously avoided. Presumably because there’s a not a cartoon character who can make inequality, poverty and deprivation seem such multi-coloured FUN!!!

Having said all that, our explanation as to why the people on the wrong side of the M53 die early is very simple – it’s because they want to!

Moreover it is incredibly dispiriting to read the low expectations that Wirral Council have of Wirral’s older people. The self same people who have been the backbone of the community on Wirral for many years , paying their Council Tax and sustaining the unworthy in power are seemingly reduced to the following aspirations:

‘I still want to be able to do my own garden’

‘I still want to be able to walk my dog’

‘ I still want to be able to play with my grandkids’

‘I still want to be able to use the stairs’

Might we suggest that based on the older people (and their carers) that contact us that they’re more concerned about being left languishing in hospital as a result of intermediary care services not being available whilst at the same time they’re regarded as a drain on resources –  despite the fact they established, supported and paid for those resources over many years in the first place!

Moreover the emphasis on the potential physical frailty of Wirral ‘s older people is a complete cop-out. What they want is what we all want – to be treated with dignity and respect, be afforded the services which they deserve, to hold the public officers who’s wages they pay to account and not to be subject to condescending bullshit!

For the record, as far as His Lord and Ladyship is concerned, when we get older we want to be far,far away from Wirral. We we’re thinking about retiring to the South of France but based on last week’s events we’ve decided to can the Cannes. Instead we’ve signed a living will which includes a mutual agreement to be on standby with a smothering pillow.


7 thoughts on “When I Get Older

  1. ‘I still want to be able to do my own garden’ ……………….err, is it £35.00 extra a year, on top of recently raised council tax, can’t quite remember as I live in the East of Wirral and have no garden

    ‘I still want to be able to walk my dog’ ………….er, this is going to cost more as parking charges increase and extend in April. Where can I get my dog to take a dump?

    ‘ I still want to be able to play with my grandkids’ ………..er, again those happy days in our country parks will not be on the agenda as the parking charges bite and so we spend more time indoors in front of the TV.

    ‘I still want to be able to use the stairs’ …………..er, out of four current social care providers for the elderly, three are currently barred from providing a service because they have given the contracts back as being unworkable and the one remaining, Premier Care, is suspended because it is so crap at what it does.

    Wonderful, wonderful Wirral…………..aaahhhhhhh……

  2. Could this be yet another wonderful initiative from one of our two new Council “Programme Managers”.Both paid at eye watering salaries.
    The Senior, one the disgraced Stewart Halliday, pockets £188,192 a year.
    £30,000 more that our Prime Minister is paid for running the whole of the United Kingdom!

    It could well be that all that is required from our two new Executives – there is another one at a mere £139,000 but no one yet knows what he/she does- is to come up with crap ideas such as the colourful posters which must enrich the lives of the more junior, and far less well rewarded staff in Fantasy Towers, when they visit the washroom.

  3. “I still want to be able to play with my grandkids”.

    10 to 12 years of playing with the grandkids has been snatched away.

    That’s the callous legacy ladled over any grandparent not fortunate enough to live within a five mile radius of the dishonest Tory hard right Labour leader Phil *”moving forward” Davies.

    *No, he doesn’t have Tourettes syndrome. He’s just prone to peppering his every utterance with offensive, meaningless drivel.

  4. G’day Leaks

    When I get older, did I tell you I became an old age pensioner last week, I would like to think people in power and those voted for, the likes of “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING and Delude Dill” would not lie, be open, honest and transparent and also be held to account by decent people.

    I would feel so much happier.

    I wouldn’t have to talk about it to my doctor and answer when he asks if I would like counselling or am I having dark thoughts.

    Can you imagine being Ms Davies or kiddie Davies’ going to church down at West Kirby and facing decent people or telling the grand kiddie Davies’ granddad was a LIAR LIAR pants on fire.

    He still hasn’t written to “Highbrow” as he said he would on 19 December and as “Interested keeps reminding us of the boomerang

    “We have given them almost six years to own up and say it was all wrong, they’ve lied, cheated, hidden stuff, obfuscated and told bare faced lies.”




    Hope our luv lasts and never dies….. Lordy XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    Or, at least till they fess up on Wirral “Funny” Bizz.

    Oh shit!

    Why did I mention Holland Lordsville they will be installing DYKES in Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant wirral Waters next.

  5. I can well understand why you have knocked retirement to Cannes off your list.
    Imagine bumping into Davies and Liptrot every year when they are on their annual, Council Tax Payer funded, freebee!
    It is enough to lower the tone of the town.

    Whilst being essentially a peace loving man, I can think of better uses for your “smothering pillow”

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