Distribution Solution

 

We can’t get enough of ‘Wirral View’ – well we would if we had actually received more than one copy at Leaky Towers . Yes , we know there’s an online edition but there’s nothing like the touch of newsprint and gazing lovingly on those precious words of wisdom that fill that empty void that was once our information deficit to make us be #thankful #grateful #blessed to be living in such interesting times as these.

So imagine how relieved, nay, overjoyed we were to hear that Wirral Council are addressing this pressing issue. We dare say we need to take some credit for this. For way back in November 2016 we identified what we called the ‘Distribution Deficit’ when it comes to this vital organ.

Distribution Deficit

Subsequent Wirral Leaks posts have highlighted the fact there is no point in producing a publication which nobody ever gets a copy of and when they do they get a copy they quickly come to the conclusion that there  is definitely no point in publishing Wirral View. 

A View To A Kill

Alternative Facts in a Parallel Universe

Our distribution solution would be to chase Wirral View out of town once and for all. However belatedly it would appear that Wirral Council’s Head of Communications Kev MacCallum is on the case – phew! . He once was lost and now is found and what would we do without him!

Apparently the distributors that were based in Liverpool have been dumped (much like their delivery methods) and been replaced by a Wirral firm , and er, Royal Mail. This may have led to an increase in costs but Kev reassuringly tells us that  ‘This additional expenditure will be accounted for through reducing the spend associated with copy writing and photography with more work being delivered in-house.’

http://www.wirralglobe.co.uk/news/15200280.Cost_of_pushing_council_s_Wirral_View_newspaper_through_your_letterbox_soars_to___126_000_a_year/

We’re imagining this involves the Labour Cabinet writing good news stories  about foodbanks and passing round the crayons to draw pictures of tins of beans. The next edition promises to be all very Warholian.

The media onslaught continued with Cllr Matthew Patrick Cabinet member for Community Engagement and Communications appearing on Roger Phillips’ infuriating Radio Merseyside programme to extol the virtues of Wirral View. This was  somewhat in the vein of an enthusiastic sixth former who’s proud of their media project –  ‘this is information that has to get out there’ he implored as if he was talking about a World War 2 leaflet drop over enemy territory . We confess we did snigger but then we’re still guffawing at his use of the term ‘faux outrage’ at a recent Cabinet meeting. Matty Patty (© James Griffiths , Esq) went on to deny that Wirral View was trying to take advertising revenue from the likes of the Wirral Globe and that it was saving the Council money (although he was a bit sketchy on the details).

You can hear Matty Patty at 1hr 05.20 followed by Conservative Councillor Adam Sykes  http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p04x0r52

However the absolute highlight was ‘Kathy from New Brighton’  who at 1hr 20 put Roger right about Wirral Council’s intentions when it came to generating advertising revenue. Kathy told us that she ran an independent business and received an email from Wirral Council in September 2016 promoting a ‘new advertising opportunity’ .

Kathy declined this opportunity on the grounds that advertising costs were ‘extortionate’ and  ‘I support my free press’ . You tell ’em!

Roger seemed a bit miffed that he’d been wrongfooted about where the advertising in Wirral View was supposed to be emanating from. ‘I was told NHS ……that sort of advertising‘ he said forlornly.  Sorry , Rog , but you seem a bit slow on the uptake that the Wirral Council crew can sometimes be rather disengenous (and we’re being polite for a change). We just wish more people would get with the programme – but preferably not yours as we find it a frustrating experience over the years as you have consistently provided the Wirral Council power elite with a platform for their mendacious BS.  Who can forget the infamous Graham Burgess ‘ mistakes’ episode for starters?

Indeed listening to Roger Phillips always makes us want to storm the Radio Merseyside studios and reinact the famous scene from the movie ‘ Network ‘ and scream : ‘I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take this anymore…’

 

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11 thoughts on “Distribution Solution

  1. I had a copy of Wirral View once. I think it came with a bag of chips.
    I used it in the bottom of the parrot cage.
    I don`t think the parrot was very impressed. He crapped all over it
    He is a very intelligent parrot.

  2. G’day Leaks

    You made me laugh my head off reminding me of “Burge(rwiththelotplus29mistakesin7second)ss” but little “Matty Patty” with his ridiculous put on posh voice trying to impress the other posh fool from West Kirby “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING Dill” that took 100 days to write to “Highbrow” a non-letter took the cake.

    “Matty Patty” is as deluded as his leader because I am reliably informed he wants to follow in the footsteps of “The Pretend Friend”.

    He will be wanting to marry someone like “Missus bilong “The Pretend Friend” “Nurse Girtrell Rat” next.

    Ooroo

    James

    Reminds me of Burgess putting back his farce of public meeting into Big, ISUS and Working Neighbourhoods for a meeting in Wakefield that didn’t exist.

    They might well all be liars Lordy.

    Luv it if you were Lieutenant of wirral Lordy XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

      • Oh Leaksy

        There is more decency in your left testicle than the whole, not hole you funny fella, than ………………..

        That’s a story for another day.

        Ooroo

        James

        I am auditioning today L.

        Wait till I’m celebrity on less than “The Blinking CEO” and his gang of thieves.

        Wish me a broken leg Lordsville I bet “The Shyster” would.

        Luv you to the moon and back XXXXXXXXXXXXX

        Obviously not auditioning as a comedian.

  3. It just keeps coming…the BOOMERANG……..

    (Shit where did I put that piece of paper with the words written down?)

    …….THE AUSSIE RULES OK!

    • “We have given them almost six years to own up and say it was all wrong, they’ve lied, cheated, obfuscated and told bare faced lies.”

  4. From https://wirralleaks.wordpress.com/2016/08/08/wirral-councils-got-a-brand-new-organ/
    August 8th 2016

    I stated the following…

    “Further to my independent ‘review’ of the proposal, this ‘newspaper’ cannot possibly be produced, printed and distributed to in excess of 154,500 individual addresses, (and disposed of?) for 7.5p per copy.”

    …and with next to no private sector advertising income it will cost between £200,000 and £250,000 per annum.

  5. Leaky you Barstard

    You’ve been seeing “Highbrow” behind my back haven’t you?

    Where would you have plucked “prescient” from without a secret tryst with “Highbrow”?

    Getting back to “Matty Patty”, the young conservative wannabe posh boy with ridiculous royal family accent, his Clark Kent glasses, probably not born down the North End, I would luv to see him actually do a real interview with someone other than everybody ‘political locally’ friend Roger 20 Watt.

    No disrespect to anyone from the North End I would prefer their company to the slimy scum bags at Brighton Street like “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING Dill”, “The Shyster” and “The Pretend Friend” et al,

    To fund this comic they will probably just take money from the massive pot, where they throw all the dosh, stir it round, then fish out bits for this and that and like magic, or, “Chamber Pot” the comic is funded.

    If Grant (Chocolate Teapot) Thornton ask they will just ignore it like the whopper Report into Big, ISUS and Working Neighbourhoods that cost the wirral public £50,000.00 plus probably the same to read it, talk about it, report on it and ignore it.

    The 65 clowncillors as usual won’t give the friendly auditors any consideration on these big issues as I have witnessed they just shit themselves when Granties muppet mentions their personal allowances and expenses.

    That is how ridiculous they are.

    Ooroo

    James

    I am so bored with this Lordy but I ran 5 marathons and 4 ultra-marathons so I am only at the 2kl mark.

    Lordy please don’t see “Highbrow” behind my back XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    And don’t you go for Russian Tea with “Highbrow” “Interested” without me.

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