Mayor Balls

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So have you all voted yet in the bore-fest that is the Liverpool City Region Metro Mayor election?

We studied the Mayoral election booklet that was sent to Leaky Towers before we decided where to place our X ( or X X – as we lucky people get to choose a second candidate!) We’re still not sure what the Liverpool City Region ‘Metro’ Mayor is for , although we read that he – because let’s face it it will be Steve the Brickie – will have a range of powers including strategic housing and planning ,transport and highways, business growth, energy and environment, finance and European funding.  He’ll be a busy boy then – although doing what exactly we’re not quite sure. I suppose we should be thankful that this election didn’t take place 20 years ago as our very own Frank Field said he’d fancy his chances. Can you imagine Frankenfield meddling in everything left, right and centre? Frightening! But anyway back to the current eight candidates and their policies/pledges/pleas/promises – call them what you will……………………

We’re trying to be objective here but what struck us reading them all is that Steve ‘Brickie’ Rotheram’s pages are decidedly short on any actual concrete plans. Plenty of soundbites and platitudes  and needless to say ‘the vision thing’-  “ My vision is for a region that is ambitious ,fair,green,connected and together”, ” I will stand up for every community and ensure every voice is listened to”  etc; etc;  Yes , Steve , but how?

All of the other candidates set out exactly what they want to do and how they want to do it . Even though one candidate Paul Breen doesn’t appear in the booklet at least we can tell from his handle Get The Coppers Off The Jury what he wants to achieve !

Roger Bannister ( Trade Unionist and Socialist Coalition – TUSC) may not be the same man who was the first to run the mile in under 4 minutes but he does set out 5 key aims.  Tony Caldeira (the Conservative Party) sets out a 6 point ‘Tony’s Plan for the City Region’ .

Similarly Tom Crone (Green Party)) has a 5 point plan as does Tabitha Morton ( Women’s Equality Party) who has the same number of ‘priorities’. Carl Cashman has 4 parts to his ‘vision’ whilst Paula Walters (UKIP) must have double vision as there are 8 parts to her particular ‘vision’ for the City region.

Shame that none of the visions ,plans ,priorities will come to fruition as we know that with six boroughs in the City region and all of them Labour-controlled that Steve the Brickie is a shoo-in . This might explain his ‘can’t be arsed’ entry prepared by his agent , head of North West Labour executive, Anna Hutchinson. We are however treated to a full page picture of Steve the Brickie wistfully gazing into the middle distance wearing a ’96’ badge , campaigning wristbands and stroking a puppy ( we made the bit about the puppy up – but you get our drift).

So having considered all the information on offer we’ve decided to vote for Tabitha Morton from the Women’s Equality Party. With a name like that she seems to be ‘one of us! one of us! one of us!’ to purloin Steve the Brickie’s rather cultish election tagline. Talking of cults wouldn’t it also be good to shake up the tired old male -dominated City Region political scene? Go Tabitha!


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5 thoughts on “Mayor Balls

  1. I could not be bothered my rear end to vote.
    To me just another pointless layer of bureaucracy and the opportunity for shoehorning his Labour friends into well paid, but pointless jobs.
    A good day for our beloved C.E.O. Mr. Robinson as he will trouser quite a few bob with more to come on 8th. June.

    • G’day Chasser

      Do not despair word on the street is “Ecca” “Spotty Dog” “The Blinking CEO” is going to donate his hard earned from this ‘erection’, as they once called it on wirral whilst announcing the results, to THE LEAKIES POSSE to help rid his favourite Borough of the crud and dross because he can’t. No cojones!

      The posse is ever growing.

      “Cardin” wirral in it
      “Tarrantino” Brace
      “Morton” A great hero
      “Thed rum doctor”
      “Titus Oates”
      “Little old ME”

      What a party this group would make, or, at least have, with that generous donation.



      If you want to remove yourself from THE LEAKIES POSSE you have to buy us all a pint.

      Luv you all men and your heroic detesting of the shite at wirral.


      That Freudian slip at that “Erection” shows what they always have on their minds and it is not the wirral taxpayer.

      • There are many more of us James in the Leakies Posse, but some have to remain unannounced for the time being.

        I know some who would absolutely knock yours AND the enemy’s little socks off if I was to do a Wirral Council and “accidentally” release these names onto the World Wide Web !

  2. It is incredible isn’t it, that 2 highly qualified whistle blowing accountants (with their inevitable attention to forensic detail) are simply spending almost six years trying to right a wrong….

    What the fuck are the Council doing? What the fuck are the Councillors doing? Why isn’t someone making a statement?

    And they want us to fucking vote?

    • G’day “Interested”

      You have to understand as we nearly do after almost six years of dealing with this crap and crud of wirral.

      They do a biased report.

      You complain.

      They pay £50,000.00+ to their own auditors to do an “INDEPENDENT” report.

      They get Dave Garry to write a dodgy report and pay him off £40,000.00ish.

      The original auditor vanishes into the ether and if they didn’t pay you off big time Beverley I would get back in touch with them.

      They do nothing about asset stripping which is an offence.

      They have muppets like “Crapapple” running the Fudge It and Risk It Mis-Management Committee until he goes to court.

      They all stay schtum even the opposition.

      Burgess has a farce of a meeting were they stand up and lie publicly.

      They then say it is six years on all is well.



      History is great “Interested” nothing at all has changed over Wirral “Funny” Bizz knocking off £2,000,000.00 since I went to see Adderley and basnett on 5 July 2011.

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