Happy Talk

Wirral view Latest 492

Imagine our delight at Leaky Towers to receive a rare ,hand delivered copy of Wirral View on a Sunday afternoon. If truth be told we were briefly entertained by the sheer brain numbing , desperate, relentless positivity of it all.

As it would appear that this comic (without the laughs) is not attracting enough advertising revenue to make this vacuous vehicle viable we are instead treated to 28 pages of relentless intelligence insulting  BS ( we can almost feel our cranium escaping out of our earholes).

In lieu of addressing our ‘information deficit’  we get a free full page plug for relentless self promoter Nisha Katona and her Mowgli chain of Indian eateries. Ms Katona eulogises about Wirral without mentioning she hasn’t yet opened a restaurant in the place where she chooses to call home.

But don’t despair Nisha dispenses her wisdom on how to start a successful start -up. Might we suggest the income earned from being a barrister for 20 years might have helped somewhat and that attending Wirral Chamber of Commerce’s Enterprise Hub (FFS!) wasn’t the key to Mowgli’s nationwide success (just sayin’!)

However we acknowledge that Nisha is just trying to make a (very good) living and instead we reserve our opprobrium for Cllr Phil ‘Power Boy Pip’ Davies and his ‘leader’s column’ ( no laughing at the back) .

Pip makes reference to the recent Rightmove website survey which suggests that Wirral  is ‘officially’ the happiest place to live in the North West of England and the third happiest in the UK (  yeah ! whatevs!)

As we’ve alluded to before , perhaps ‘happiness’ on Wirral is predicated by on which side of the M53 you live and whether you have a property to sell with Rightmove ( just sayin’). Even after using the word ‘officially’  Pip concedes that these surveys are ‘ a bit of fun’.   But fun for who?  lazy press officers?  It should as come as no surprise that Pip concludes ‘What a wonderful place we call home’

But then when a monumental mediocrity like him reaches the top of the Wirral tree – a la Mandy Rice Davies – he would say that wouldn’t he? For others who don’t live in the right postcode he fails to acknowledge that life on Wirral can be pretty grim.

Meanwhile other highlights from this latest edition include Cllr George Davies cutting a tape ( Freud would have a ( Frank) Field day) and the headline ‘Everything you want to know about Wirral’  juxtaposed ,with no irony whatsoever, with  ‘ Secret Bunker of New Brighton’ .

You really couldn’t make this shit up ! – but  Wirral Council do – and at our expense. But at least thanks to Wirral View we know to make a ‘CHEEKY CHILLI!’



11 thoughts on “Happy Talk

  1. G’day Leaky

    Haplessness Happlessness

    The greatest gift that wirral possess

    Oh Lordy like their rubbish football team and favourite at new brighton tax dodger.

    Totally hapless.


    In fact anywhere “Philly “Fucking” Liar has anywhere to do with he turns to shite.



    C’mon “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING and Deluded Dill” leave the poor barstards at Tranmereidre alone they will be much better off.

    What exactly have you ever done for wirral?

    Apart from lying cheating and giving everyone’s hard earned away.

  2. A letter in last week`s Wirral Globe (in reply to a letter of mine criticising the cost of Wirral View ) commented that the View informed its readers that it was no longer necessary to tear the plastic window from an envelope before recycling.
    Wow! And a recipe for Cheeky Chilli as well.
    That must make it worth the £250,000.00 a year.

    P.S. Still not seen a copy but I do not stay awake at night fretting.

  3. G’day Leaks

    Just another warning My Good Lord to “Squash (Mc) Court” if he gets and takes the job.

    Have your happy talk now mate.

    Watch John “Tarrantino” Braces epic filums of hours and hours of “Sir Git” “The Shyster” sitting in meetings not smiling, not being happy, listening to lies, not smiling and not calling people out.

    You might get a fucking big watch to show off to your barista mates but is it worth it?

    By the way you’d better get a good barista like what “Sir Git” had to get and keep you out of the shit. Don’t worry about the cost it is only taxpayer money and we all know that is the last consideration when you are initiated to THE wirral GANG.



    Please don’t take it mate it will only bring shame to you and yours.


  4. G’day Leaks

    I am really trying to stop “Squash (Mc) Court” from making the biggest mistake of his life.

    Don’t even turn up to the interview mate.

    It won’t be any CREDIT on your CV even if you went and got it and didn’t accept it.

    It will be a slur on your character for even thinking about it.

    If you ignore me, like the rest of the 65 muppets did, and go for the interview

    When “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING and DeludedDill” speaks to you you know he is LYING he is not called “Philly FUCKING Liar” for nothing.

    When “The Pretend Friend Jones” speaks to you, nods, smiles and winks you know the little welsh leprauchan doesn’t mean a word of what he says.

    As for the rest they will all just do what “Ankles” the real leader tells them.



    Don’t fall for the line we are going to be the MOST IMPROVED (ill) Legal Department in the country they just buy those plastic awards.

    Thanks and much luv Lordsville XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    • ‘Thirty days have September,

      For Sir Git to remember…

      What a Git he has been…

      It doesn’t rhyme or reason

      For this is about Wirral Council’

      Ha ha…I laugh at my own jokes!

      (Don’t worry I will write a poem about Squash McCaught if he gets the job…)

      • In fact here is a little taster now…

        ‘Will Squash McCaught
        Be caught…
        And put on Phil’s
        Little dishy?’

        0oer that sounds rude….

      • Luv yer “Inty”

        But stick to ya day job.

        I’m the jokemeister.



        Apart from the great Bobby 47 of course.


        I do like yer work thoughX

      • Amendment

        The equivalent of thirty pay days in September

        For Sir Git to remember

        What a shit he has been

        It doesn’t rhyme or reason

        For this is about wirral Clowncil

        And the racists will be glad to see the back of the watch.

        wirralgate wirralgate wirralgate



        Actually “Int” yours is probably better.

  5. I agree James. Yes, JJ, Cardin, Nigel, Charles, the Leaks Doctor and Brace occupy the intellectual positions on these here pages, but there is a space for the thick, the dull and those of us who bet on uncertain outcomes, and I personally occupy that space.
    I say, rather than celebrate the aforementioned clever bastards who are able to string together a coherent thought or a meaningful written statement, it’s about time folk started to show some appreciation to those of us on here who ain’t so bloody clever. I say, let’s start celebrating those of us who, though operating with a limited vocabulary and barely able to construct a sentence to make an intelligent point, we begin to fully appreciate the mindless and pointless bollocks thats shovelled out daily in response to these bottom feeding, sycophantic narcissistic parasitical trough feeders who suck away on our lactating teats oblivious to our outrage and howls of, ‘enough the greedy bastards. Away with your culture of self entitlement and your need to take and take, we the thick and the dull have had enough of our sore and chaffed teats being sucked dry’.

    • Glad yer back Bobster

      Just in time.

      There is a storm coming.

      Take note “Squash Court” the “Highbrow” is analysing the BIG Fund crimes that “Philly “Fucking” Liar” lives in denial of.

      “Highbrow” has only seen 10 or 11 files and they have all been wrong, three asset stripped.

      No wonder he won’t hand over all the recipients names there would be some acey duceys.



      How many relatives benefited form AdderleyDadderleyDooLally, Jones, Foulkes, Davies, Davies, Basnett et al.

      Money for free money for free money for free money for free

      See “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING and Deluded Dill”.

      Ask him about it at your interview “Squashy” and his asset strippers are us policy.

      Luv ya Bobbly XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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