Advent Farewell 23 – Wirral Global


Welcome to our very first (and last) interactive post where we invite you to share your thoughts on our global impact and try to win a prize.

Despite the  globetrotting attempts by Wirral Council officials to sell the dubious delights of Wirral to the rest of the world its profile remains resolutely low key. How many of us , when on jaunts abroad , have had people ask : ” Where are you from?” and when you reply ” Wirral”  , they tend to have a quizzical look on their face as if you’ve told them you’ve just come from Narnia via a wardrobe.

As we’ve commented before never have so many air miles been flown to achieve so very little. So we’re just grateful for the World Wide Web which has enabled us to spread the word about Wirral Council from the comfort of a wingback chair.

As you can see from above we have a very impressive reach . However we would like your observations on the top ten nations that have tuned their aerial to Leaky Towers mast ( forgive us but we still don’t know how this interweb thingy works) .

We’ll kick off by providing a Top Ten chart rundown and offering some suggestions for further enquiry.


We note that after the UK and US  ( no doubt courtesy of Reno) we have at No. 3 in the charts   , Malta ! – is this an internet flag of convenience thing? Whatever it is it’s a big shout out to our Maltese contingent – whoever you are.

Spain is next at No. 4 – obviously it’s peak Wirral Leaks during the holiday season.

Likewise at No. 5 we have Portugal  – holiday home heaven for bent executives or what?.

At No. 6 and No.7 we have France and Germany respectively shaking their heads and counting the days ’til we leave the EU if Wirral Council is anything to go by.

No. 8 is Australia – that’ll be due to the contributions of the Aussie ,obviously and perhaps our occasional vulgarity.

No. 9 is Ireland – need we say more?  You can accuse us of cultural stereotyping but they seem to like a drink or three and have spawned some of the greatest wits that have graced our pages . Oh and they’re a Republic

The Netherlands sneaks in at No.10 –  apparently we have quite a following in Rotterdam.

However to win a prize you need to reference the map above and name as many countries as you can who haven’t yet been able to access Wirral Leaks.  We know ! – somebody needs to alert our roving United Nations ambassadors  The Foulkes’ !

The winner will be announced at a special awards ceremony hosted by Chief Executive of the Wirral Chamber of Commerce , Ms Paula Basnett .  The promise of a new frock and pair of sparkly shoes was all it took to take to the podium.

12 thoughts on “Advent Farewell 23 – Wirral Global

  1. For what it’s worth, Malta, Spain, Portugal and France are where senior crooks retire to when they’ve stopped crooking…. hence the mountain of hits.

    Everybody else who either openly exposed them OR supported them with their silence and co-operation gets what they didn’t deserve / deserved and will remain here to exploit the new opportunities presented to them in the 51st State that will be renamed “Great Brexit”.

    Lainey and Steve like to swan off abroad as we know, and may have similar plans to do a midnight flit, but will get by using their limited English, post Brexit.

  2. Ecca, apologise to the Aussie and all will be well. Good international relations will be restored. Ecca, are you Wirral’s Boris Johnstone? He apologises a lot doesn’t he? You can do it Ecca…Boris is a good role model isn’t he? It easy… come on Ecca…..

    (Love to the Aussie, Happy Christmas to you and yours.)

  3. I don’t know about Wirral Leaks but for sure there are parts of Wirral untouched by responses from councillors to perfectly civil enquiries.

  4. G’day Leaky

    I believe the only place in the whole wide world that can’t access the great WIRRAL LEAKS is

    wirral metropolitan borough clowncil

    The plebs have been told, warned, threatened not to look at what makes them out to be

    exactly what they are

    low life

    low intellect

    no name

    no mark

    non entities


    important, in their own peanut brains.



    In 34 years never met anyone in Australia, god’s own country, who new where wirral is.



    Have they paid you off

    ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha?

  5. G’day Leaky

    Before you leave this shit hole I must ask you a question.

    A headline in that rubbish paper over Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant wirral Waters

    Liverpool 8 shootings investigations hindered by ‘no grass’ culture

    Leaksville oh wise one,

    What is the difference between L8 “no grassing”


    wirral Borough Clowncil senior officers and elected members ‘no grass’ culture??????



    At least in L8 they don’t pretend to be decent upstanding citizens.

    And they don’t want a fucking ridiculous golf resort.

    More respect L8

    You can’t leave us with this crud and dross mate XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    • Not something I had thought of….good question from down under…. and up and over and left and right hook….

      Oddly enough one of the friendliest barbers I have ever been in was in L8 (And I have been in a lot of barbers)



      George Harrison wrote ‘Seacombe Party’.

      But who is the Seacombe Santa?

      Answers from the Aussie please ha ha..


      Sincere Happy Christmas to you My Lord and Best Wishes for the future…

      And to to all Leak readers and Leakers…. Cheers!

      • G’day “Interested”

        Ha ha ha who is the Seacombe Santa?

        He is a low life scum bag arsehole who should not be allowed to deal with any human being as he can’t, definitely can’t, be trusted.

        Ask his mate “Highbrow”



        His name sounds like

        Councillor Adrian Jones

        May he and “Missus Bilong Him Nurse Rat” get exactly what they deserve for Xmas.

        Too late they already got each other.

        Which nursing home is on hr hit list next?

        Respect “Interested”.X

  6. The Gallilean once likened the word of God and the Kingdom Of Heaven to a tiny mustard seed that, once watered, tended to and germinated, would grow flourish and multiply so that all who encountered the word would hear and fully understand whatever it was that prompted the Nazareen to single out the insignificant mustard seed as a way of getting people to think.
    And this is how the mighty Wirral Leaks should be viewed in a modern context. A tiny insignificant mustard seed that the people of the Wirral could access and then begin to think a little more beyond the boundaries of their daily lives of compliant drudgery instead of simply hoping for the least painful outcome and wake from their slumber and scream, ‘Halleluzah. I hate the fucking Council. The bastards! God bless the mustard seed’.
    Course, the problem with this is that this fucking mustard seed the great man spoke of and the one I’ve referenced as being akin to the writings of His Lordship is taking a bloody God awfully long time to get fucking emerging from its seed casing. If the Wirral peninsular had been Jesus’s chosen place of spreading the word my guess is he’d have fucked off long ago and tipped up elsewhere in the hope of finding some good soil instead of barren rock and hoping that the word would be listened to and that the people who inhabited the place were more receptive to his message. Hasn’t quite worked out that way has it?
    As for the now, the bearer of the word, the author of The Leaks is about to clear off to bloody France. The Gnostic writers Brace and the menace Cardin are pretty much barred, banned and consigned to the cave where the Dead bastard Sea Scrolls were once secreted for bloody years and The Baptist our James Griffiths is still howling at the dross and the crud without any sign at all that this bloody mustard seed has began to germinate, yield fruit and finally tip the balance that gets the people to wake up from this unholy alliance between bad and greed and actually do something to help themselves.
    It’s desperate isn’t it. I once pinned me bloody hopes on the Wirral as being the place that’d finally stop these trough feeding, yellow bellied. Sneaky, cheating bastards from carrying out their illicit activities and the house of cards would subsequently collapse and Councils across Blighty would fall beneath the deluge of a bit of straightforward and simple truth. How bloody wrong was I.
    There’s no bloody end to it!

    • Yea and the fruit was found to be ashes
      And all the people did chew upon those ashes
      Where juice was to be hoped for, only bitter ashes were masticated
      so the Master travels to more fruitful land
      Where the tongue is that of the Franks
      For no franker Lord be there than the Leaky Lord

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