Wirral Leaks Weekly Dispatch #7

THE FREE PRESS

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If nothing else Wirral is well served by free media – mainstream or otherwise . From Wirral Leaks  to Wirral Globe to Wirral View to Wirral Life – all along the news spectrum from the grime to the gloss.

However did you spot the deliberate mistake? We’ve been asked what part of  the word ‘free’ doesn’t Wirral Council understand . Those of our readers who have miraculously received their first ever print edition of Wirral View have been asking us how can it have ‘FREE’ emblazoned on the front cover when the print and distribution costs and presumably the wages of the cut and paste mob who are responsible for compiling the unwanted rag runs into hundreds of thousands of £££ each year and is paid for by council tax payers ?

For those who had the honour and privilege of finally receiving a copy of Wirral View the most frequently asked question is : “Are there elections due ?  In probably the last edition before purdah we understand it was rammed with Wirral Growth Company/Muse Developments/Wirral Waters articles replete with the obligatory artist’s impressions. There wasn’t even room for any healthy, cheap and nourishing recipes! We are sure a peep at the online edition would confirm the veracity of these claims but as the saying goes you don’t have to go to the Arctic to know it’s cold…

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Another reader was a bit alarmed by the Wirral View headline above . At first they thought it was members of the Wirral Council cabal getting a vigilante posse together and taking time out from next week’s MIPIM conference in Cannes to track down ‘His Lordship’ and give him a good pasting . That was until they read the article , which was about how not to upset the kiddiewinks with stories about all the nasty things going on in the world. Although we think telling them to get a good education, not to do drugs and get away from Wirral as fast as you can is the best advice that any Wirral parent could give to their child.

THE ART OF DOING BUSINESS ON THE GOLF COURSE

From the glitz and glamour of Cannes we glide seamlessly to the latest glossy, glamorous, aspirational edition of Wirral Life . Inexplicably the cover star is hasbeen chanteuse / gardener Kim Wilde. So is Kim –  best known for that annoying racket ‘Kids in America’  – coming to Wirral as part of her UK tour ? Er,no. She’s going to Wrexham ( oh the glamour of it all) . We couldn’t work out a Wirral connection even though the exclusive and highly insightful interview revealed that Ms Wilde only has “2 handbags and less than 10 pairs of shoes (not counting trainers) “. Now if the interviewer had asked her about what trackie she would wear to visit The Pound Bakery we might have understood why Wirral Life was plugging her tour and giving her front cover status.

However less of this celebrity flummery what did interest us was finding out about the inevitable Wirral Chamber of Commerce section. There was news of Wirral Waters ( don’t they know it’s had a re-brand to Wirral Waters One?) and the Wirral Chamber Corporate Cup as the Chamber  ‘host prestigious corporate golf day at Caldy’  . What is it with these people and bloody golf?  We’ve long known that much of Wirral Council business is conducted at Wallasey Golf Club and of course there’s that  Hoylake housing development proposal masquerading as a ‘golf resort’ but we’re definitely with Mark Twain on this one – “golf is a good walk spoiled”. The point of this anti-golf tirade (and we do have one) is that one of the 2018 teams is Morgan Sindall . Muse Developments are part of the Morgan Sindall group of companies .  Is anyone other than us joining the dots? Read more here : Morgan Sindall

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WIRRAL UNIVERSITY TEACHING HOSPITAL : #PROUD  – The Musical 

Following our  Wirral University Teaching Hospital : #Proud ?  story we’ve been sent a video of the opening of Arrowe Park Hospital entrance from 2014 involving a ‘flashmob’ performing the song ‘Proud’. It brought a lump to the throat and a tear to the eye – but for reasons that probably means that we’re best walking away from the keyboard. Disgraced former WUTH CEO David Allison can be seen at the start of the video doing the difficult job of encouraging someone to cut the ribbon. So David tell us what did YOU do since this was filmed to make you feel proud?

AND FINALLY…….

We have some very observant and tuned-in readers who look at the world in the same slightly skewiff way that we do . Accordingly we are grateful for both the picture taken from a Channel 4 ident along with the following comment :

My daughter has forwarded me this image today explaining that this giant monster is actually a deconstructed number 4 (as in C4).

So, not only is it a good New Brighton image but it is also, I guess, some kind of metaphor for what Wirral Leaks is trying to do – deconstructing Wirral?

(or, like those blokes in wheelchairs…maybe I am pushing it)

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9 thoughts on “Wirral Leaks Weekly Dispatch #7

  1. G’day Leaksly

    Now you are a foreign correspondent.

    Can you tell me if anyone from wirral will be going with Uncle Joe to the Commonwealth Games in Oz next month?

    If so, it will be a blue nose or two so they can come back with all the gold from the Gold Coast to build a floating football pitch in Everpeel that will sink with the weight of all their duty free.

    Ooroo

    James

    Who will be going to Russia Leaky with Uncle Joe for the World Cup where there will be nilch blues playing?

    The Chamber Potty Travel Agency is going to be busy.

    She’ll be on board Lordy, wink, wink buy some peroxide shares L.

    HOLLAND in France Leaky XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    • James, we can safely rule out Ken Dodd, but Jamie Carragher may attend since his approval rating was boosted and he’s in with a chance of being recognised for those diplomatic qualities. He’d be a great ambassador and champion for Liverpool Council because he personifies that culture of friendliness, approachability and good old fair play.

      What do you think?

      • G’day Paul

        I really don’t like to talk about these Merseyside legend blue nose scum bags Carragher, “Ankles” Foulkes, AdderleyDadderleyDooLally with his childish shirt with his name on the back “ASSET STRIPPER” and of course “Philly “FUCKING” Liar who doesn’t know whether he is a blue or a red.

        Ooroo

        James

        I so regret coming back to Merseyshite after 34 years.

        Keep up the great work Paul they don’t deserve easy allowances or any respect at all.

        X

      • G’day Paul

        Looks like Carra will get away with it likes “Ankles” always does.

        Someone just told me he is just a working class boy.

        Ah BLESS.

        Ooroo

        James

        x

  2. G’day L

    Haplessness haplessness the greatest gift that wirral possess.

    Ooroo

    James

    God bless him God damn the crud and dross at wirral.

    Luv XXXXXXXXXXXXX

  3. My Lord,

    I have just read your comments on the Fourth Estate. (No not the Ford Estate.)

    I enjoyed the thought of various Wirral Councillors scouring the environs of Cannes looking for your good self…. to have a little chat with you… ha ha

    But My Lord, no mention of Granty? And his ‘Inferno’?

    Maybe Granty will mention something of some significance this week? Maybe he will mention who is ‘going going gone’?

    Kisses to James, the Aussie.

    Keep up the good work My Lord…..

  4. G’day Leaks

    They remind me of Jamie Carragher.

    They do brilliant things.

    Then they like Jamie who spat on a 14 year old girl they just shit on two Wirral “Funny Bizz” whistleblowers.

    Like Carragher they should be sacked.

    Ooroo

    James

    A blue nosed Bootle boy just reminds me so much of “Ankles” the real wirral leader and blue nosed scum bag.

    “Philly “FUCKING” Liar ha ha ha ha ha ha

    Likeable but shite.

    And then luving it in the background with his audit trail is the vilest of them all with his evil Missus Bilong Him Nurse Rat loving them cocking up.

    Eccles Cake face you should be ashamed every pay day you are their impotent puppet.

    Luv ya so much L XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

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