Communication Breakdown

Thanks for all of you who kindly suggested that a member of the Wirral Leaks team should apply for the following post with Wirral Council . Hopefully an application from Leaky Towers will be winging its way over before today’s deadline :

screen shot 2019-01-21 at 16.27.36

As one wag wrote to us “Good job for the Wirral leaks team. Get paid for your Wirral Leaks job maybe not as much as the consultants but over £500 a week lol…” 

Looking at the job advert we have to say we’d have our work cut out to match this BS:

screen shot 2019-01-21 at 16.36.50

Perhaps we can discuss the issues that we have with some of the paragraphs at the interview :

Paragraph 1 : You had us at the opening lines:  “Big changes. No excuses…”  You also had us rolling in the aisles.Very gung-ho,very fridge magnet,very amusing.

Paragraph 2: No sorry,you lost us here and yet somehow think it’s appropriate to use the phrase : “Coherent narrative

Paragraph 3 : You want employees to have a ‘voice’ within the organisation? Yeah right that’s why they have to come to us time and time again to be heard.  You don’t really want employees to have a voice do you? Compromise Agreements/Non-Disclosure Agreements and Gagging Clauses suggest otherwise. You only want employees to have a ‘voice’ as long as it’s a reassuring and non-challenging whisper

Paragraph 4 : It’s laudable that you are determined to improve the way that you communicate with employees. Can we offer the suggestion that their sentient human beings and not a payroll number?

Paragraph 5:  Can we please issue the team with a t-shirt emblazoned with the words : NO HOLDING BACK. NO EXCUSES. JUST CHANGE WIRRAL. BRING IT ON.

Actually on second thoughts we’ll have to withdraw our application as we can’t hope to compete with such inspirational communications and what’s more we’re not buying into any of it…

 

10 thoughts on “Communication Breakdown

  1. G’day Leaky

    There was a communication breakdown when “Highbrow” and I went to tell them that Wirral “Funny” Bizz were in the process of knocking off £2,000,000.00.

    What didn’t they (want to) understand, Adderley, Basnett, Bradbury, Wilkie, Tour, Norman, Jones, Jones, Foulkes about fucking half wits stealing £2,000,000.00 from under there noses?

    Not to mention “Philly “FUCKING” Liar” and “His Ugly Twin Brother with the Comb Over From Hell””.

    Why did they keep paying them for 18 months after I sat under AdderleyDadderleyDooLally’s fucking orrible football shit (not a typo) with his name on the back

    *Fuck wirral”

    I will do what ever I want.

    Ooroo

    James

    66 fucking useless clowncillors all fell in line.

    A disgrace to their families, alma maters and there own arseholes.

    Luv ya La XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    May all 66 rot in fucking hell and be voted out.

  2. You can all be sure of one single thing. Whoever they decide to employ, it’ll be some fool who has no ability to string together a coherent thought or sentence and successfully communicate an idea without the listener wishing they were deaf or even dead.
    Most likely, the winner of the prize will be a blue sky thinking passionate idiot who was probably sacked from The Samaritans because on their first day of employment they took five telephone calls from five people and all five callers quickly decided to end their misery and commit suicide. And despite the fact that two of the now newly departed lost souls had accidentally telephoned the wrong number and still chose death, because their listener was a dreadfully boring twat, will be more than plenty for the happy applicant to get the job from the ‘suits’ at WBC.

    • G’day mate

      The sooner they start fracking in the back gardens in west kirby the better.

      Ooroo

      James

      Keep sticking it up em mate.

      They might wake up eventually.

      X

    • I wonder what the latest is on Martin Liptrots ‘Brief Encounter’ at Central Station?

      Can’t believe there isn’t some further gossip….

  3. A fundamental shift in behaviour, culture and approach !!!
    Can that possibly be the Wirral Council we have learned to despise?
    I would spout endless male bovine excrement for £39k a year which is almost twice the average wage of someone living in the North West of England.
    But then it is only Council Tax payers money so who cares?

    Writing of which I note that, in addition to the almost certain large rise in the aforesaid Tax, we will now be required to contribute towards yet another layer of bureaucracy namely, the Office of the Merseyside Mayor.

    • Just a thought.
      Why have the inhabitants of Wallasey Town Hall decided to advertise dates American style?
      We have enough crap coming over the Atlantic without tinkering with our numerical dates.

  4. God help the poor unsuspecting sucker who takes on this poison chalice, thats of course if they are not previously aware of Wirral Clowncils vitriolic history. If they are aware of WBC`s history then they will get what they deserve.

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