EXCLUSIVE : And the new Parliamentary Labour candidate for Birkenhead is…


As you will know from this report : EXCLUSIVE : The runners and riders in the race to be the next MP for Birkenhead we’ve been breathless with anticipation to find out who Birkenhead Constituency Labour Party (CLP) would choose to succeed Frank Field as their candidate for the next General Election .

This is the report from our man on the inside holding his head in his hands wondering whether it’s a cock up or a conspiracy…

The Selection Committee election didn’t go ahead tonight, it started off
badly with the Town Hall being locked securely causing meeting to be
transferred to The Welcome Centre on Argyle Street at the last minute. 
Sadly the candidate’s statements were also locked in the Town Hall,
after initially being told the vote was going ahead without any real
knowledge of the candidate’s viewpoints, the meeting chose to take over
and it was agreed that the election will be held at a later date, as
soon as possible.

An offer of allowing each candidate to speak for two minutes was on the
table but not only was it unclear whether all the candidates were
present but also it wasn’t deemed fair that this should be sprung on
them especially with such a small time slot.

It was also suggested that the statements should emailed out, reading 16
candidate’s statements of 250 words each in the meeting (potentially
4000 words) was not considered conducive to finding the five most suitable.

Various other points were raised including one candidate’s application
appearing to be waived through despite it not being correctly received by
the deadline.

The Chairman had a hard job which wasn’t helped by the dictatorial NEC
member that was present who despite being there to ensure due process,
seemed to want to throw the rulebook away and make up his own rules on
the fly (I’m sure he will see it differently). Democracy won the day.

11 thoughts on “EXCLUSIVE : And the new Parliamentary Labour candidate for Birkenhead is…

  1. I have said before and I say again the Wirral is cursed with a less than useless National Government plus an equally useless and by all account corrupt local Governance resulting in a complete lack of Decent, Honest, Clean, Open administration in our public affairs, something not fit for purpose nor providing value for money to the Rate and Tax Payers of Wirral.
    Please remember all this when you get a chance to vote. If you re-elect the same old rubbish as before, all you can expect is more of the same. ” Pick a New Face” in every case pick a new face, that way the new face understands that they must listen to the electorate and not the Party Political Parasites who have let you down for years. ” Pick a New Face” applies to all parties. If you want to make a positive change, then you must change the way you vote.

    • Sandy Cameron:

      I agree with your comments and wish that the voters of the Wirral had the necessary information to band together and oust the current regimes of both Labour and Conservative; neither having served us well.
      Sadly, I suspect that the majority of voters have little idea of the inefficiency, waste and corruption in Wallasey Town Hall and, if they do, shrug their shoulders and think, “they are all the same so why bother?”
      Political apathy at its most tragic.

      Merseyside has a long history of voting on Tribal lines and I doubt if much will change.

  2. G’day Lordy

    That’s the best laugh of the year!

    Fuckwits like Davies Davies Jones Jones Robinson Armstrong Ball Williamson couldn’t organise an election in a T(Cl)own Hall.



    What is the collective name of this shower of shite?

    Answers to the Great Lordsville on a piece of crap paper.

    You do great work as a foreign correspondent Leaky XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  3. What a wonderful story. To those who get the chance to read this, who perhaps are plagued by life’s problems, bereft of hope and spend what little disposable money they have on betting on uncertain outcomes, supping to much ale, dabbling in mind bending drugs and spending more time than they should loggin in and watching Red Hot Wirral Housewives, then this will surely raise your spirits, bring you joy and make you think twice before you take that planned trip to New Brighton and wade out into the brine at high tide to end your personal misery of Life On The Wirral.

    Other than the tragedy of a death or romance and its rampant sex, this little slice of pleasure has all the story elements that bring one to laugh, to cry, to ponder and hope for a better future. And, because deep down, despite it all and its stupidity and hilarity that makes you laugh like a demented nutcase, you know that because the Mighty Leaks and its conductor JJ haven’t added anything to the chain of events to make it funnier, because there was no need to do it, it’s all sadly completely true. This is indeed a true reflection of political life on the Wirral.

    And all because of a ‘Key’! Or, the lack of one. You couldn’t make it up could you.

  4. Wouldn’t it have been wonderful to have been there as an eavesdropper and listened in at the very moment when they all tipped up outside The Town Hall to discover nobody had the means to get through the door.

    Normally I wouldn’t advocate being an eavesdropper. Nosey sorts of people who would be better served minding their own business instead of eavesdropping in on conversations they’ve no business being involved in. For my part, this world would be a whole lot better off without the eavesdropper and under normal circumstances I’d be the first to condemn the eavesdropper and direct them to clear off elsewhere.

    But still, if you had been there and you were inclined to be an eavesdropper, chances are you’d have heard a long and probably meaningless pointless exchange regarding who had the key, who should have the key and how can we get hold of the key, get inside of the place and fulfill the single purpose of this social gathering together.

    There must have been a point when one of the group, probably the assertive one who tasked some other underling to make sure they could get in with a key, would have used profanities to express their inner feelings of being pissed off.

    Thereafter, chances are, if the eavesdropper remained undetected then the man or woman, both sexes are equally capable of being nosey bastards, would have managed to get into the Welcome Centre only to then learn that all the much needed documentation they needed to fulfil their purpose was looked inside the Town Hall.

    It must have been a wonderful night. You could quite easily have taken that scenario, dumped it into the film Life Of Brian and it wouldn’t have been out of place for the protagonists of the Judean Peoples Popular Front!

  5. I would suggest that this particular cock-up is as a result of sabotage rather than incompetence. A certain M.P.’s influence can be smelt in the air.

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