When I Get Older

Toilet door

Pity the poor rank and file staff at Wirral Council who have to encounter these utterly bizarre posters in the Wallasey Town Hall toilets after they’ve attempted to relieve themselves (by whatever means) from the endless bullshit they have to endure on a daily basis.

The first thing to say is we don’t understand the graphics ( we’d like to think that the IQ of  Wirral Council staff reaches double figures but we may be wrong if they’re quite happy to be patronised by these cartoon figures); and the second thing to say is we don’t understand the demographics. Who exactly is this poster supposed to appeal to ? – a turban -wearing, kiss-curled, impressively bearded individual wearing a lime green double breasted jacket?

Clearly any attempt to address the main public health issue on Wirral – the huge disparity in the mortality rates between east and west Wirral – is studiously avoided. Presumably because there’s a not a cartoon character who can make inequality, poverty and deprivation seem such multi-coloured FUN!!!

Having said all that, our explanation as to why the people on the wrong side of the M53 die early is very simple – it’s because they want to!

Moreover it is incredibly dispiriting to read the low expectations that Wirral Council have of Wirral’s older people. The self same people who have been the backbone of the community on Wirral for many years , paying their Council Tax and sustaining the unworthy in power are seemingly reduced to the following aspirations:

‘I still want to be able to do my own garden’

‘I still want to be able to walk my dog’

‘ I still want to be able to play with my grandkids’

‘I still want to be able to use the stairs’

Might we suggest that based on the older people (and their carers) that contact us that they’re more concerned about being left languishing in hospital as a result of intermediary care services not being available whilst at the same time they’re regarded as a drain on resources –  despite the fact they established, supported and paid for those resources over many years in the first place!

Moreover the emphasis on the potential physical frailty of Wirral ‘s older people is a complete cop-out. What they want is what we all want – to be treated with dignity and respect, be afforded the services which they deserve, to hold the public officers who’s wages they pay to account and not to be subject to condescending bullshit!

For the record, as far as His Lord and Ladyship is concerned, when we get older we want to be far,far away from Wirral. We we’re thinking about retiring to the South of France but based on last week’s events we’ve decided to can the Cannes. Instead we’ve signed a living will which includes a mutual agreement to be on standby with a smothering pillow.