The Comrade “Braveheart” Burgesski Kiss Off


After we reported last July that Wirral had signed a ” Concordat” with Cheshire West And Chester Council to explore sharing services – SEE HERE

It now appears that Wirral Council has, according to it’s Chief Executive Comrade Burgesski, made a ” brave” decision and decided to give the engagement ring back.

Clearly the thought of jumping into bed with a Tory-run Council proved too much when there is a much more compatible match over the River Mersey. And what’s more we’re sure that jumping into a bed with a Tory can lead to ,ahem, compromising positions!!!

Burgesski’s statement  “It is right to thoroughly investigate an opportunity and have the bravery to say it isn’t right for us at the moment” is spin taken to the point of delirium. Do they truly believe this bollocks or has the Department Of Spin completely given up ?


We’re amazed he didn’t add some classic kiss-off lines such as :

  • we were getting seriously too quickly let’s see other Councils for a while
  • we need some time
  • we need some space
  • it’s us. It really is. It’s not you
  • you’re too good for us and you’ll only end up getting hurt/embarrassed/bankrupt
  • we don’t deserve you. You deserve better
  • we’re no good for anyone right now
  • you’re the right Council but at the wrong time of our “improvement journey”

However we must say the reference to “bravery” had us all guffawing loudly.

” What do they mean?….” I implored.

Verity sidled over and whispered in my ear : ” If you don’t mind me saying so your Lordship they don’t know what they’re doing…. or to purloin a phrase from Eldritch – they don’t know their arse from their elbow”

Meanwhile we’re left wondering whether it’s only a matter of time before Warrington Council is lured into HKLSHSW Combined Authority ” Super Council” and Wirral Council’s ” special relationship” with that authority is formalised.

Fazed Return – The Return To Abnormal


Unfortunately not being personally acquainted with some of the main characters in the alleged Wirral Council makeover means that Her Ladyship missed one of the main protagonists when she was viewing the recording of last weeks Improvement Board meeting.

Clearly refreshed after his recent,ahem,absence the Super-Duperest of all Super Duper Directors and Burgesski’s particular favourite until that recent,ahem, “misunderstanding” did indeed make a fleeting appearance.

On being informed of her oversight and being guided to the footage by a thoughtful leaker Her Ladyship responded: ” My goodness, the only time I want to see a grey mullet is when it’s the fish course at a royal banquet….” .

We do wonder as to whether the timing of his sudden departure from the Improvement Board meeting had anything to do with the prospect of forthcoming revelations such as those contained in an email sent to all and sundry and subsequently leaked by a Council insider.

We’d like to respect the wishes for anonymity so eloquently expressed by the deeply affronted union rep at last weeks meeting but frankly a) we know all about the connections,conflicts of interest and motives for doing so b) the world and her husband seem to have seen the following email and c) we couldn’t be arsed.

“The day I met Kevin ( Utterly Butterly )Addelry and Paula (‘Bertie Bassett’)Basnett to blow the whistle on Wirral Biz sums up WBC…. perfectly.

It was 862 days ago and nothing has changed apart from them both having been promoted I believe.

I sat through a couple of hours of listening mainly to Addled talking of his brilliant career in audit, his having contacts in the tax office etc, how great the Big Fund Panel was, “implying, what would I know”, whilst Basnett looked shocked at my allegations and asking me about forged signatures that I didn’t know about at that stage…they obviously did! (Obviously mentioned in the ISUS Report that is harder to find than the Holy Grail.)

All whilst sitting under his ridiculous football shirt with his name on it.

Now 862 days later they are still collecting massive salaries people have come and gone Grant Thornton Reports ferreted away somewhere…..What has changed….Naff all!!”

So shocked were we about the fact that a Super Duper Director and a fully grown man would disport themselves in a football shirt and at the same time claim to have a brilliant career in audit we felt the urgent need to consult Leaky Towers psychologist Dr.Sigmund Bonkers. He sent us the following assessment:

 “Under the circumstances I would suggest if a person attains the dizzying heights to which they are clearly unsuited for, there is an increased likelihood of that person suffering from vertigo ….”.

Eldritch’s Bulletin Board


How do, Eldritch ‘ere

His Lord & Ladyship were so taken aback by Comrade Burgesski’s press announcement that all was now well with Wirral Council and he was now looking forward to the organisation being known as “outstanding” that they’ve had to take themselves off for a lie down in a darkened room at The Hoity Toity Spa.

Her Ladyship’s parting words to me were : ” I think Burgesski thought his comment : “We’ve won the war, now we must win the peace.” – was statesmanlike, but considering the proximity to Remembrance Sunday I found his words crass and insensitive.The ghastly man frays my nerves….Eldritch you’ll just have to hold the fort in our absence.Toodle pip.”

Now I’m not a man of many words and most of those are fucking expletives so you lot’ll have to make do with this Bulletin Board because the leaks have been coming in thick and fast.

Anti-Social Behaviour

We’ve been asked whether there will be after party fireworks after tonights Cabinet ( November 7th).

This is do with a report about a review of streetscene and community safety

Our source says: “Item 17  – Slipped in at the bottom of a busy night indeed. No details,nothing attached, no appendix, no EIA, but hey ho you daft uns, agree to it anyway.Aha the Special One MBA becomes the ASB (Anti-Social Behaviour) Tsar (her own words).The report should be seen as an attempt to hoodwink councillors just like the old days.Here’s a review, just a review, just agree it. Read it through and its a proposal that gives an open book to expand a mini dictatorship. Included is the proposal that the ASB Tsar will influence other depts. Or bully as we know it…..”

Anti -Social Behaviour indeed!

Top-up for Taylor-Smith

Apparently David Taylor-Smith,one of the no-marks caught up in the Colas/HESPE whistleblow case was not satisfied with the £68,000 pay -off he received and has come back and bagged another £20,000!
Once again a little financial arrangement that seems to have evaded any scrutiny and had to be leaked.

Gardening Leave

Is Super -Duper Director Kevin Addled aka Utterly-Butterly still on gardening leave? If so –  a couple of questions – we thought Wirral Council didn’t do gardening leave and how big is his bloody garden? Whatever the answer we bet it’s not as big as his salary
But seriously Kev we know you’re a big fan of Chinese cuisine so we’re sending you this irritating ditty to remind you of happier times spent in Shanghai.

Ta -ra, Eldritch

A Safe Pair of Hands: Touched By the Hand of Graham


Salutations Leakers, Lady Justine here.

Shush! – I’m taking advantage of the fact that Lord Julian and Eldritch are supposed to be clearing the driveway to Leaky Towers and are well and truly out of the way (although peering from the safety of my ivory tower I can see they haven’t got past the thrill of building a scale model of Wallasey Town Hall out of snow – which appropriately enough seems to be in meltdown…………….).

Now normally I keep myself away from scandal (other than reading magazines such as “Goss!” “Chit-Chat!!” & “Get a Life!!!!”) but from time to time I find myself peeking over my Sudoku at the discussion that ensues when Verity recounts the latest goings on at Wirral Council and I must say the latest revelation takes the biscuit (Hobnobs obviously).

It would appear that on 24th January it is proposed that the seemingly messianic Graham Burgess ,after a mere 4 months in post, is to be offered the poisoned chalice that is the Chief Executive of Wirral Council position on a permanent basis – after “retiring” from Blackburn with Darwen Council and coming to rescue Wirral from the clutches of Local Government Commissioners.

“Leader” of the Council Pip Davies follows in the less-than-illustrious clodhopping footsteps of his predecessor Steve Foulkes and insults our intelligence by claiming Mr Burgess had done “an excellent job” so far and added:

“What I’m keen to do is get rid of any uncertainty about whether he will be here for the long haul. “I think it’s a move which will hopefully send out a clear message to our staff and the public that we have got someone doing a good job who is prepared to commit himself long term to Wirral – this is not just a guy going to come in, make a load of cuts, and then go away.”

Read more: Liverpool Echo

How are we defining “good job” Pip ?.We’d love to know…..

The “Penn Put Up Job” perhaps?- the get out, that may I conjecture, might enable the Council to pay off those with “No Case to Answer” without adverse criticism by Wirral Council Taxpayers or censure by central Government?.

( Note to self: ask Verity to find out whether Mr.Green has returned to work yet).

We also note with a mixture of shock and awe that Wirral Lib Dem Councillor Stuart Kelly seems to have his finger on the pulse with a couple of incisive tweets stating:

Chief exec’ contract was based on ‘sorting Wirral out’ in the 2 years, then appointing if successful – so far little has been ‘sorted out’ ….”

“Can’t think of anything more insensitive than giving permanent contract to Wirral chief exec’ at this time when other jobs are under threat …”

Meanwhile we all seem to be forgetting how Team GB actually got here (and it is Team GB – as anyone who as observed or experienced the influx and/or influence of his trusted acolytes will testify).

They’re here because of a series of so called “damning reports” – the most shocking of which – The Independent Review which cost £250K and was published to an appalled public and lead story on BBC Look Northwest this time last year North West Tonight – Wirral Council – Department of Adult Social Services overcharging

– and yet none of these reports appear to have made the slightest bit of difference as the Council reels from fiasco to cover up to denial to spin to same old same old.

Culture of Fear ?- In excelsis! – speak up and you’re out.We hear the bullies and the sycophants are the ones sitting in judgement of who stays and who goes. Lessons have been learned? – absolutely!.Out go the malcontents,the non-team players,that one who looks a bit funny, all the ones they wanted rid of but didn’t know how to or the Unions wouldn’t let them.

Redundancy as a means to an end.

Inward-Looking? – OK then lets set our sights across the Mersey and get the Scouse Contingent in – it comes to something when Liverpool City Council is seen as a model of good Corporate Governance (as can be evidenced by the presence of Wirral Council Officers who were once Liverpool City Council Officers being witnessed in Liverpool City Council offices on a regular basis).

Bureaucratic Machinations ?- The areas of the Council found to be particularly at fault in the Independent Review/Corporate Governance Reports ( DASS,Internal Audit,Legal ,HR) are rewarded with more staff and/or pay rises. Although we need to refute rumours that handsomely remunerated legal eagle Steve Gerrard is a moonlighting Midfield General.

Is it me?, or does there seem  to be a seemingly endless merry go round of Local Government Gurus who have “retired” or been made “redundant” and received a nice payout elsewhere and now find themselves earning pin money dancing to Wirral Council’s discordant tune on a temporary contract (for now anyway). Behold the glorious new order – all hail the bureaucratic mercenaries!.

Abnormal is Normal ?- “So if I have to manage the carnage I get a pay rise does that mean I have to write a report about a Chief Exec being made permanent after 4 months? ………………….”

Abnormality doesn’t come close.It seems to be in the very foundations of Wallasey Town Hall.

As our Librarian Miss Philippa Larkin-About said: “….. greeds and garbage are too thick-strewn to be swept up now….”

Talking of sweeping up Lord Julian has just trudged sludge in my grand entrance. Anybody know any good cleaners? – all our domestics have scurried off to Wallasey Town Hall after hearing they needed experienced people to sweep things under the carpet………