IF THE HEADLINE IS BIG ENOUGH, IT MAKES THE NEWS BIG ENOUGH

PISS

BIG TOP

There has been local consternation that a circus has recently set up camp on Wirral which features live animals.

SEE HERE

There appears to be some dismay that the council should have intervened and put a stop to it. To which we can only say that considering that Wirral Council have a chequered past when it comes to the treatment and welfare of vulnerable people that it was highly unlikely that the treatment and welfare of animals should concern them.

Moreover we think circuses and Wirral Council have a natural affinity as jugglers,illusionists and clowns appear to be responsible for running the show.

BIG REPORT/BIG DELAY

As our follow up to our Lessons Have Been Adjourned story just to let you know that the Audit & Risk Management meeting has gone from being reconvened for this week to tba (to be arranged) / cba ( can’t be arsed) to now being held October.
“Yes but did they specify October of which year ” sniped Her Ladyship.

This decision was taken backstage by Councillors and carefully concealed from public scrutiny after what a number  of sources describe as “bullying”.
“Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose…” sighed Her Ladyship.

Now we know it’s a big report but are Councillors hoping that they can pull the traditional  “Star Wars Card” out of the pack and claim the shenanigans all happened  “a long time ago in a galaxy far,far away” ?.

As a public service to assist Councillors with their deliberations Miss Snoop has applied her forensic skills to the report and we will be publishing ” BIG/ISUS For Dummies” shortly.

BIG OVERSPEND

We understand that Lib Dem Councillor Stuart Kelly has called in a Council decision concerning cuts to funding of projects in other departments as a result of yet another Department of Social Services (DASS) projected big overspend.

Although it must be said that the Council cabinet minutes are an absolute masterclass in obfusaction so it becomes a case of when is a £3 million projected overspend not a £3 million projected overspend?.

The minutes record that DASS Director Graham “Son of Bill” Hodgkinson “set out that there was a projected potential budget variance reported on behalf of Adult Social care in the finance report of £3M .
The figure of £3M that had been reported was not as yet an overspend. It was derived primarily from a financial perspective that all of the benefits of the projects may not be deliverable in year”.

Meanwhile the Cabinet resolution states:  ” it be noted that at Month 2 (May 2014), the full year forecast projects a gross General Fund overspend of £3,137,000…”

SEE HERE

And so it’s a case of robbing Peter to pay DASS to reduce the projected overspend which Cllr.Kelly (and other Councillors) have objected to.
At least DASS should be congratulated in ‘fessing up and not rolling over the toxic debt into the next financial year and the one after that and the one after that etc; etc; as low friends in high places allowed them to do for many years.

Talking of which and finally ……….

BIG HITTERS

News filters through of a recent incident involving a high ranking civic dignitary and their companion who were involved in a very public “difference of opinion” when seemingly “tired and emotional” after a civic reception.  We understand that conduct unbecoming of people of such high standing has been the talk of Hurst’s Bakery and Houlihans…….

Taking the Piss

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For some shitting,sorry sitting Wirral Councillors there is a sense that pesky ex-Councillor Ian Lewis is hanging round like the proverbial bad smell in the Town Hall corridors of power.

On his blog HERE  he comments:

“If there’s one thing that makes us all equal, it’s go(ing) to the loo. Except, it seems, when it comes to the Town Hall. Following one of my FoI requests, the full response has now been published by the Council.

And what do we find?  That in these times of austerity, when, it seems, we can’t even cut the grass around a war memorial, we can find £17,611 to refurbish the toilets that were previously for the exclusive use of councillors or, as the sign said ‘Members Only’. Stop sniggering!”

Clearly at this cost this was not a bog standard makeover and despite constant reminders from Councillors that we are living through hard times it seems as though they are both taking the piss and proving that they’re full of crap.

As befitting someone who has a history of crapping on people from a great height we understand that to mark the opening of the newly refurbished toilets (and bringing a whole new meaning to the phrase throne room)  Mayor Foulkesy performed a ceremonial dump to enthusiastic cries of “Beware abnormalload!” and “Somebody send in the canary!”.

Here we have exclusive video footage of Mayor Foulksey and Wirral Council sanitary spokesperson Ms.Lou Latrine discussing arrangements for the ceremony :

Most-Expensive-Toilet-Paper-in-the-World-y