Advent Farewell 5 – Wirral Leaks Goes To The Movies

This is the time of the year for endless repeats of heartwarming movie classics. The only difference is that our video excerpts below come with the Parental Advisory label. So those of a nervous disposition – you have been warned (though if you are of a nervous disposition we do have to wonder what you’re doing here) .

Movie buffs will recall the infamous  “Downfall trilogy”  classics were the work of Wirral Leaks collaborator Cecil B. De Mented and featured scripts penned by our own pottymouthed butler Eldritch.

DASS Bunker is concerned with the aftermath of the publication of the “Independent Review of Allegations Made by Martin Morton ( and Others)” aka the ‘Klonowski Report’ which did indeed lead to the then Wirral Council leader Cllr Steve  Foulkes’ very own downfall when he was later ousted in a vote of no confidence.

The sequel Destination Effluence chronicles the short-lived hapless attempts of a ‘Turnaround Team’ to help Wirral Council on its ‘improvement journey’ under the title ‘Destination Excellence”. This was a classic case of  Wirral Council being beyond satire and of the script writing itself.

All In It Together is the final instalment of the trilogy and covers a prominent episode that took place during Graham Burgess’s tenure as CEO of Wirral Council and is concerned with his Wallasey Town Hall bathing arrangements. Once again – you couldn’t make it up , although we did give an involuntary shudder at the thought.

Finally to end on a festive note , there is a Christmas special which celebrates Burgess’ s achievements during his tenure as CEO . It’s a very,very short film as he finds himself becoming not so much part of the solution but part of the Wirral Council problem.

Pass the popcorn and the port and join in with your favourite lines. But only when your elderly relatives are safely snoozing on the couch after their sherry and mince pie binge.




Eldritch’s Bulletin Board


How do, Eldritch ‘ere

His Lord & Ladyship were so taken aback by Comrade Burgesski’s press announcement that all was now well with Wirral Council and he was now looking forward to the organisation being known as “outstanding” that they’ve had to take themselves off for a lie down in a darkened room at The Hoity Toity Spa.

Her Ladyship’s parting words to me were : ” I think Burgesski thought his comment : “We’ve won the war, now we must win the peace.” – was statesmanlike, but considering the proximity to Remembrance Sunday I found his words crass and insensitive.The ghastly man frays my nerves….Eldritch you’ll just have to hold the fort in our absence.Toodle pip.”

Now I’m not a man of many words and most of those are fucking expletives so you lot’ll have to make do with this Bulletin Board because the leaks have been coming in thick and fast.

Anti-Social Behaviour

We’ve been asked whether there will be after party fireworks after tonights Cabinet ( November 7th).

This is do with a report about a review of streetscene and community safety

Our source says: “Item 17  – Slipped in at the bottom of a busy night indeed. No details,nothing attached, no appendix, no EIA, but hey ho you daft uns, agree to it anyway.Aha the Special One MBA becomes the ASB (Anti-Social Behaviour) Tsar (her own words).The report should be seen as an attempt to hoodwink councillors just like the old days.Here’s a review, just a review, just agree it. Read it through and its a proposal that gives an open book to expand a mini dictatorship. Included is the proposal that the ASB Tsar will influence other depts. Or bully as we know it…..”

Anti -Social Behaviour indeed!

Top-up for Taylor-Smith

Apparently David Taylor-Smith,one of the no-marks caught up in the Colas/HESPE whistleblow case was not satisfied with the £68,000 pay -off he received and has come back and bagged another £20,000!
Once again a little financial arrangement that seems to have evaded any scrutiny and had to be leaked.

Gardening Leave

Is Super -Duper Director Kevin Addled aka Utterly-Butterly still on gardening leave? If so –  a couple of questions – we thought Wirral Council didn’t do gardening leave and how big is his bloody garden? Whatever the answer we bet it’s not as big as his salary
But seriously Kev we know you’re a big fan of Chinese cuisine so we’re sending you this irritating ditty to remind you of happier times spent in Shanghai.

Ta -ra, Eldritch