Advent Farewell 23 – Wirral Global

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Welcome to our very first (and last) interactive post where we invite you to share your thoughts on our global impact and try to win a prize.

Despite the  globetrotting attempts by Wirral Council officials to sell the dubious delights of Wirral to the rest of the world its profile remains resolutely low key. How many of us , when on jaunts abroad , have had people ask : ” Where are you from?” and when you reply ” Wirral”  , they tend to have a quizzical look on their face as if you’ve told them you’ve just come from Narnia via a wardrobe.

As we’ve commented before never have so many air miles been flown to achieve so very little. So we’re just grateful for the World Wide Web which has enabled us to spread the word about Wirral Council from the comfort of a wingback chair.

As you can see from above we have a very impressive reach . However we would like your observations on the top ten nations that have tuned their aerial to Leaky Towers mast ( forgive us but we still don’t know how this interweb thingy works) .

We’ll kick off by providing a Top Ten chart rundown and offering some suggestions for further enquiry.

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We note that after the UK and US  ( no doubt courtesy of Reno) we have at No. 3 in the charts   , Malta ! – is this an internet flag of convenience thing? Whatever it is it’s a big shout out to our Maltese contingent – whoever you are.

Spain is next at No. 4 – obviously it’s peak Wirral Leaks during the holiday season.

Likewise at No. 5 we have Portugal  – holiday home heaven for bent executives or what?.

At No. 6 and No.7 we have France and Germany respectively shaking their heads and counting the days ’til we leave the EU if Wirral Council is anything to go by.

No. 8 is Australia – that’ll be due to the contributions of the Aussie ,obviously and perhaps our occasional vulgarity.

No. 9 is Ireland – need we say more?  You can accuse us of cultural stereotyping but they seem to like a drink or three and have spawned some of the greatest wits that have graced our pages . Oh and they’re a Republic

The Netherlands sneaks in at No.10 –  apparently we have quite a following in Rotterdam.

However to win a prize you need to reference the map above and name as many countries as you can who haven’t yet been able to access Wirral Leaks.  We know ! – somebody needs to alert our roving United Nations ambassadors  The Foulkes’ !

The winner will be announced at a special awards ceremony hosted by Chief Executive of the Wirral Chamber of Commerce , Ms Paula Basnett .  The promise of a new frock and pair of sparkly shoes was all it took to take to the podium.

Big Guns in Tiny Town

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Following our earlier story about the beano in Reno Verity has been doing some further research into other towns who have had the dubious honour of being twinned with Wirral.  Apparently Wirral has been rather wanton with it’s unique charms and has previously wooed (in no particular order) Gennevilliers (France) ,Lorient (France) ,Latina (Italy) and Midland (Texas ,USA not the Black Country).
Then of course there was the Eurowirral office in Brussels which achieved er, well nothing much at all really.

As we’ve said before it seems to us at Leaky Towers that never has so much public money been spent on air miles by so many globetrotting councillors and officers to achieve so very little………

Of course the Twin Town debate is something that has concerned the great and the ghoul of Wirral for sometime.
Leaky Towers have always maintained we should be twinned with Jericho in recognition of our local whistleblowing community whilst Frankenfield seems to think that Birkenhead should be twinned with Beirut!.

However it seems to us that Wirral is behaving like a desperate divorcee on a dating website – posting flattering pictures to prospective partners in the hope of finding true love and salvation. The Reno hook-up seems particularly dodgy – apparently the fact that “The Chamber of Commerce had a contact over in Reno with a guy who used to work in Liverpool in the video gaming industry….” was enough for the Wirral posse to metaphorically put on the lippy ,reach for the Wonderbra and fly down to Reno on a wing and a prayer.

Finally we’d particularly love to know what clean living local Councillor Paul “Danceaway” Doughty thinks about twinning with Reno – famous for gambling and quickie divorces.

Let’s just hope if we get a delegation from Reno visiting that Wirral tops up the Botox to prevent “The Biggest Little City in The World” seeking a quickie divorce…….