Tab Ends and Trees – Rubbish on the Streets of Birkenhead

Grange Road

Picture : Mercury Press & Media

We understand from that customers at one of Birkenhead’s more interesting and sophisticated shops were witness to a rather unfortunate incident. From our description you will all know we are not talking about a shop in Grange Road and to all you readers who’ve been in touch about the Birkenhead Improvement District (BID) ‘s idea of what constitutes a Christmas tree we won’t disappoint you and let this other unfortunate incident pass without comment . It comes to something when a ‘newspaper’ better known for lowest common denominator stories and littering Merseytravel trains sees fit to feature  Birkenhead’s ,er ,’tree’. The comments in the Metro article are priceless but the most telling for us is from ‘Lesley Thompson, 52’

‘Awful, isn’t it? Says it all doesn’t it for Birkenhead now. There’s hardly any shops now are there?

Read more:

There isn’t even ‘a Christmas tree’ there now either as vandals have helped put the Meccano metal monstrosity out of it’s misery. Whilst we’re not advocating vandalism , perhaps it was for the best, as scrap metal outside an empty shop somehow doesn’t scream ‘the spirit of Christmas’ to us.

However back to our main story which concerns a customer who was merrily browsing the stock in the shop we mentioned at the start . What is then described to us as a ‘uniformed ‘WBC’ litter monitor’ came in to the shop and started harassing him for allegedly dropping a cigarette end on the pavement outside. Apparently as this was disturbing for other customers they were asked to stop arguing or take their argument outside. The customer stayed, the litter monitor left saying he would be calling the police and waited outside the shop with another ‘uniformed litter monitor’. When the customer claimed sanctuary in the shop and didn’t leave the ‘uniformed WBC litter monitor’  reluctantly got in their car and drove away. Whilst the customers were willing to accept that a discarded tab end is littering they were aghast at the belligerent tactics that were being used.

The shop owner was apparently unable to tell shocked customers whether the ‘WBC litter monitor’ was from Kingdom Security or whether they were being funded from the Birkenhead Improvement District  (BID) levy. If anyone knows the answer please let us know. All we can say is that we can only imagine that it’s hard enough getting customers in through the door without them being harassed when they get in…


Get Out of Town – The Death of Birkenhead

M &S

The future of retail in Birkenhead. Harsh maybe – but we guarantee more accurate than any Wirral Council approved artist’s impression.  

So farewell then to the Marks & Spencer store in Birkenhead after a long and continuous presence in the town.  It may be only one store – but it is hugely symbolic of the state of Birkenhead town centre – and do we mean state !

It’s certainly a fist in the face to Birkenhead First isn’t it? Proving to the Wirral Chamber of Commerce backed initiative ,which aims to make Birkenhead an attractive and vibrant retail and leisure destination, that there’s more needed than litter picks and pop-ups when it comes to the cut-throat world of commerce.

Whilst there have long been rumours that House of Fraser is on the way out  -and let’s face it since the demise of Beattie’s it has rapidly gone downhill – it staggers on , but for how long?  As far as we’re concerned that would be the final nail in the coffin and then all Birkenhead will be fit for is a set for a remake of  ‘Dawn of the Living Dead’ – the zombie movie set in a shopping mall.

As for Birkenhead MP Frank Field “demanding” a meeting with M&S chiefs – that’s the trouble with him , he’s so used to “demanding” and getting his own way with Wirral councillors that when the harsh reality of the business world hits he’s suddenly out of his depth and left wallowing in the poverty of his constituents , all prissy pursed lips and a put upon expression.

Council leader Cllr Phil  ‘Power Boy Pip’ Davies is even more delusional and in peak Pollyanna mode is quoted in the Liverpool Echo as saying :

Good public transport links , £2 all-day parking and plans to re-invigorate the market are positive signs , and the business community ,residents and shoppers are keen to see to see Birkenhead invested in and improved”

But even Pip must know that a headline such as ” Make no mistake … M&S Birkenhead closure is a disaster”  in the usually compliant Liverpool Echo means that this is not a good news story.

It’s not a question of running down Birkenhead – it’s already run down or to use Presidential language  – it’s a shithole! Time for Pip, Frankenfield and co to wake up and smell the weed wafting down Grange Road.

So spare us the artists’ impressions for fantasy schemes that will never happen , the deceptive , expensive and manipulative wraparound advertising features in Wirral Globe, the press releases about the billions of pounds about to come Birkenhead’s way soon, honest, the cheque’s in the post etc; etc;

If all Wirral Council’s ‘transformers’ can come up with is plans for more car parking charges and a drive-in Maccy D’s whilst transforming their bank balance at our expense and jetting off to Cannes to hawk the tawdry wares that Birkenhead has to ‘offer’ then surely Marksy’s departure is the beginning of the end for the town.

And so we say to the young people of Birkenhead – get an education and GET OUT OF TOWN! Leave the dereliction to the derelicts and those who have been derelict in their duty for decades.





Picture Gallery


Our thanks go one of our spotters who sent us this picture taken yesterday outside Wallasey Town Hall. We were asked if we could throw any light on the matter as to why a mahoosive shredding vehicle was parked there ( we do hope they were charged by the way) .

We welcome suggestions from our readers – but our top 3 guesses are a) There’s an investigation going on – but hey! isn’t there always?! b) Wirral Council need to deal with all those returned, unwanted copies of Wirral View  – but hey! every little helps when it comes to recycling trash targets ! and c) They’ve finally got round  to disposing of discarded undergarments of past Wirral Council senior managers – but hey! let’s hope the shredders were equipped with surgical gloves!

Our second picture comes courtesy of Twitter. Now we know we have a Twitter account but to be honest we try not to go there. It’s a bit like Grange Road, Birkenhead – 140 characters and they’re usually mindless.

However it is very kind of Wirral Council to keep us informed of their hi (sic) street cleaning schedule. For future reference : the only cleaning we’re interested in is when they fumigate Wallasey Town Hall and remove the vermin currently inhabiting the place.


We know that the next one is a bad picture  – but it’s deliberate and a case of a picture painting a thousand words. It’s details of Wirral Council’s plans to charge you for basically parking anywhere on Wirral except your own driveway – although we suspect that a Super-Duper Director has been sent off to drum up a dastardly plan to enable them to do that too! – especially when none of them actually live here !


And finally we have a heartwarming closing picture of Cllr Steve Foulkes so you go to bed all warm and fuzzy. So here’s Foulkesy stroking a pussy – what’s not to love?

Foulkesy and pussy