Please indulge us whilst we return to the subject of Wirral View. If you must! we hear you cry.
Now that the putrid publication is down from 32 to 24 pages we predict that at this rate it’ll be down to a two-sided leaflet (mostly filled with pictures) by this time next year. We also note from this puny edition that Wirral View is still failing to attract advertisers . But then wouldn’t any self-respecting business wish to avoid being associated with a toxic brand like Wirral Council?
However as you know Wirral Leaks is a public-spirited enterprise and as a parting Christmas gift we’d like to offer some advice on how to attract more interest from readers and potential advertisers alike.
Primarily we suggest ditching the grubby articles about grub such as that contained in the latest edition which offers tips on how to make the most of our festive food –
BREAD SAUCE , No Christmas dinner would be complete without bread sauce. It’s a classic dish , which we also classically make too much of. Fear not,just freeze it!
TURKEY …..after your five-hundredth turkey sandwich you might want a change … From pasties to soups and stroganoff to stir fry there are countless turkey-based leftover recipes on line
Again- who knew?
Exactly who’s ‘information deficit’ is being filled with this filler is anyone’s guess. So what we’d like to suggest is that Kev MacCallum’s communications crew need to ‘celebritise’ a bit more. How about featuring a prominent guest local political celebrity ? Perhaps starting with everyone’s favourite ex- this,that and t’other and Wirral Leaks favourite Cllr Steve Foulkes aka Foulkesy
A Christmas Q&A with Foulkesy might go something like this :
Q: So tell us about your Christmas
A: Well, after we’ve been chucked out of Houlihan’s we go back to ours and ‘ave an apertif and some nibbles. Now I used to think an aperitif was what French people called their dentures but no, it’s not, it’s a posh drink from abroad,like. So I’ll usually have a pint of creme de menthe and Lainey has a drop of Limoncello which is something she picked up duty free from our dead sound holiday in Sorrento. We have a few nibbles on the go – cheesy wotsits, pickled eggs, pork scratchings,the works. I have to admit that this kind of drink and food can sometimes create a, er , rich atmosphere !
Now if the stepson is around we have to play a traditional Christmas party game of hide the cutlery. Which makes it a bit difficult when it comes to Christmas dinner – so we just hope there’s a chippy open somewhere !
Q: Do you have a Christmas message for our readers?
Yeah ! don’t over do it or you might end up with the turkey trots !
Q : And finally what would you say to your critics who say you’ve been winging it for years and have somehow managed to evade accountability or proper sanction because you’ll implicate powerful political friends?
A: Get stuffed !