Fieldwatch 5 : ‘Today Birkenhead, Tomorrow the World’ / Meet Mr Whitley

Bunker

The barbarians are at the door but at least Frank Field has plenty of other interests to keep him occupied…

Another big news week for the Birkenhead MP .

Firstly comes the news that a struggling Ellesmere Port secondary school has now transferred to The Frank Field Education Trust after crisis-ridden University of Chester Academies Trust (UCAT) abolished itself. But as Cheshire Live reports there are concerns about the move. Ray McHale of West Cheshire Trades Union Council commented :

“We only recently heard that Frank Field was establishing a free school – and his trust is now in charge of its first primary school in Wilmslow. That school is rated outstanding by Ofsted. However, to hand a struggling secondary school to a trust with no experience seems to be courting further problems rather than finding a solution.”

But what’s as long as Frankenfield gets his name on another building eh?

 

Of course the right Royal coup of this week’s Prince Harry/Meghan visit to Birkenhead which served primarily as a distraction from the local political upheaval that Frankenfield faces. However even the fawning local press couldn’t compete with The Daily Telegraph (aka Torygraph) titled Duchess of Sussex reveals she is six months pregnant with the baby due in April or May when it came to squirming sycophancy.  We defy you to read an extract from this report without a) throwing up  and b) wanting to refer Field for a psychiatric assessment :

The couple visited Number 7, a cafe and supermarket which offers discounted foods to help those on lower incomes live within their means…

Before departing, the Duke and Duchess were asked to to jointly unveil a plaque officially declaring Number 7 open, as Mr Field said his short speech had been inspired by Meghan’s own words to him.

“Ma’am as you said, it’s a great example to the country and to the world,” he told her. “Yes it is,” she replied, nodding…

Of the supermarket, he added: ”We want it to be better than Waitrose.”

Whilst ‘Megalomania’ and ‘Delusional’ were the first two words that came to mind we’d be grateful if someone could remind us which century are we living in again? Back to Foodbank Frank’s beloved Victorian era where poor people knew their place, were ever so humble and bowed and scraped to their ‘betters (i.e people with more money and power than them). Meanwhile a couple of days later Prince Harry and Meghan rock up at the Royal Albert Hall for a Cirque Du Soleil gig with the latter all dolled up in a £3,400 Roland Mouret frock  – see here. Wonder whether she picked up the sparkly number at Number 7? After all we know that Frank has aspirations for the enterprise -‘Today Birkenhead, Tomorrow the World!”- which are all well and good , but better than Waitrose?  That’ll be the day you can buy a Roland Mouret frock in  T J Hughes!

From the Daily Telegraph it’s a natural progression to the Morning Star as we bring you news of a pretender to Frankenfield’s crown.  As you can read in the Morning Star’s story Fight to replace Frank field kicks off in Birkenhead

THE fight to replace Frank Field as MP for Birkenhead kicked off today as veteran trade unionist Mick Whitley announced his candidacy.

Mr Whitley, formerly a long-standing convener at the Vauxhall car plant in nearby Ellesmere Port, was born in the area and is the former north-west regional secretary of the Unite union.

He has gained the support of Momentum, which holds a powerful presence in north-west England, while left-wing MPs such as John McDonnell, Rebecca Long-Bailey and Dan Carden have voiced their support.

The local branches of Unite, FBU, RMT, BFAWU and Aslef have also formally endorsed Mr Whitley’s candidacy.

Sources in the Labour Party have told the Star that right-wing former MEP Theresa Griffin is likely to also contest the seat.

Mr Field, first elected to Parliament in 1979, has been unpopular among local Labour members since the 1980s.

He lost a vote of no confidence in August last year, before resigning the Labour whip — and thus automatically leaving the party — a month later.

Mr Field meet Mr Whitley :

More Good Advice – Top Ten Tips For Tentative Trots

 

Top Ten Tips

Our readers have  rightly brought to our attention that we missed a trick with our Good Advice story as we all know that the most useful piece of advice that any local Labour politician wanting to remain in public office on Wirral can receive at the moment is to publicly pledge allegiance to Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn.

Although @ronnieabbey1 is pure comedy gold we’d like to help prospective Labour councillors to avoid having a post- deselection public meltdown on Twitter .

Screen Shot 2018-11-07 at 17.24.08

So here’s our cut out and keep ‘Top Ten Tips For Tentative Trots’ advising how the politically ambitious can ensure that the allowances, expenses and lucrative gigs on outside bodies can continue during this difficult time of political upheaval ( i.e. Cllr Steve ‘Foulkesy’ Foulkes)

1  Buy some Jeremy Corbyn memorabilia ,a t-shirt , a mug , an oven glove, a ‘Jez We Can’ baseball cap .  Just make sure that whatever you purchase wasn’t made in a third world sweat shop by a 9 year old earning less in a day than your monthly Labour Party subscription ( £4.17) . Indeed we understand that until he stopped going to Birkenhead Constituency Labour Party meetings Frank Field was delighted to see so many Labour Party members wearing ‘I JC’ t-shirts until  he realised that they were not on the path to spiritual enlightenment but exhibiting the first signs of Jezzamania , leading him to comment  : ‘He’s not the messiah, he’s a very naughty boy’ !

2  Acquaint yourself with that quaint old ideology known as ‘Socialism’.  Try not to get it confused with ‘National Socialism’ . Know your ‘Das Kapital’  from your ‘Mein Kampf’! We don’t want any more racist incidents involving local Labour party members do we?!

3  Study the works of Marx and no, we don’t mean watching ‘Duck Soup’ or ‘A Day at The Races’ on the Sky Cinema Greats channel !

4  Have your photograph taken wearing your ‘I JC’  t-shirt and ‘Jez we Can’ baseball cap (preferably at a foodbank, on a picket line or wiv da yoof ) and get it printed on your election leaflet.

5 Use the word ‘comrade’ as often as you can especially when communicating with the lumpenproletariat*  ( i.e. Foulkesy)

6 Stand in front of the mirror with a hairbrush (or if your folliclely challenged – a rolled up copy of the Morning Star) and practice chanting “Oh Jeremy Corbyn…” to the White Stripes tune ‘Seven Nation Army’

7 When approached by the media to comment on the Frank Field withdrawal from the party whip  situation reply : ” Never heard of him … was he the one that sang ‘She Taught Me How To Yodel’ ?

Listen we know Field gets bloody everywhere but it’s important that you adopt a Stalinist approach on the subject. So despite the fact that many a time he got you out of trouble of your own making you must make every attempt to erase the last 39 years from history (i.e. Foulkesy) . Frank Ifield may have sang ” I Remember You” but when it comes to Frank Field you don’t ! – got it?

8 Emphasize your working class background by mentioning in your election leflet that you once went to Maccy D’s in your pyjamas but didn’t much like it as you were shocked to discover that ‘smashed avocado on sourdough’ wasn’t a menu option

 Emphasize your revolutionary credentials by letting people know that you might possibly go and see the new Mike Leigh film ‘Peterloo’ –  the story of the 1819 Peterloo Massacre where British forces attacked a peaceful pro-democracy rally in Manchester – but only if  ‘Mamma Mia 2’ is no longer showing.

10 Finally, the most contemporary way to show both your political devotion and guarantee your political survival would be to get a Jeremy Corbyn tattoo. A temporary one obviously …

Screen Shot 2018-11-07 at 17.30.57

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

%d bloggers like this: