The Wirral Chamber of Commerce Comedy Show

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When it comes to Wirral Chamber of Commerce we’re waiting for someone to let us in on the joke… or tell us what they actually achieve other than holding awards ceremonies, acquiring public buildings and the relentless self promoting.

The Chamber of Horrors are, of course, better known as ‘Nepotism Central’ – the leading repository for Wirral Council rejects . CEO Paula Basnett has found more positions for ex-public servants than she has for her own family and friends – and that’s really saying something!

However we at least owe them for the endless comedic opportunities they provide us. They are truly beyond parody. A case in point and a cause of much hilarity for some of our readers was this press release on their website titled :

Woodside Ferry Village Set To Turn Wirral Waterfront Into Major Visitor Attraction

Woodside Ferry Village? – huh? Yeah, you know that well known cultural and historical landmark. And it gets better :

Located in the heart of Birkenhead’s waterfront, the food concept venue will take residence within the terminal, inspired by the success and rising trend for food-markets in a number of cosmopolitan locations, which includes Lisbon, Barcelona, Brixton, Liverpool, London and Altrincham.

Food concept venue??  What’s one of those when its at home? A foodbank with falafels and ‘artisan’ bread? And since when has been Altrincham been a ‘cosmopolitan location’? Has Man Utd’s latest signing moved in?

And on it goes :

The Woodside Ferry Village project, which is looking to open for business during Autumn 2018, is already gaining support from leading figures in Wirral, including Head of Business Improvement District (BID), Gemma Nichols who said: “This project is both exciting and adventurous…”

Apparently Gemma Nichols is one of the leading figures in Wirral – who knew??? Well if Woodside Ferry Village has Gemma’s support it’s bound to be the gastronomic centre of the universe. A leading figure in Wirral ? what an accolade for cashing the cheque each month for heading up another hapless and misconceived Chamber ‘initiative’ under the BID banner.

However no joke is complete without a punchline and who better to provide that than Wirral Council ‘leader’ Cllr Phil ‘Power Boy Pip’ Davies , who must have a hotline bling to Basnett’s Swarovski crystal-encrusted phone (she looks the type doesn’t she?) asking for favours (and not just about off- loading Wirral Council waste) .

“We have exciting plans coming forward from Wirral Growth Company to redevelop Birkenhead and to create a real destination here on our Mersey waterfront. It is important to make people ‘think again’ about Birkenhead and initiatives and temporary attractions like Woodside Ferry Village will help attract curious visitors and residents from across Liverpool City Region and beyond to come and see what is going on in Birkenhead.”

Curious visitors…to come and see what is going on in Birkenhead???? Presumably those who always wanted to be an extra in a zombie movie!

However the Chamber’s latest appointment is truly inspirational. Via the medium of a selfie (what else?) we see ex Wirral councillor Warren Ward introducing himself and asking you to book a 1:1 with a member.

So now Ward will be imparting his wisdom of being a ‘Decision Maker’ in the Civil Service to advise people on how to start up their own business. So where exactly was this gig advertised? In the window of one of the few businesses still open in New Ferry?

However cyncism aside we accept that Ward must’ve been the only man for the job  – after all he’s worked his way up from the bottom…