The Emperor of Dissemblance

Frank_nap

“He keeps saying he’s going to sort it out. He needs to get his chequebook out and write a cheque” – is Frank Field addressing this statement to Sir Philip Green or to Wirral Council Chief Executive Eric Robinson? 

I was awoken from my golden slumbers this morning by Her Ladyship shrieking :

” Darling , come quickly, that ghastly man is on Radio 4 again…..”  

As there seem to be so many ghastly men (and women) about at the moment it was only when I heard the familiar condescending drawl that I realised she meant dear old Birkenhead MP Frank Field (aka Frankenfield).

Whilst sat at the dining room table I settled down to listen to Frankenfield fulminate against “Sir” Philip Green   described as the “unacceptable face of capitalism ” in a report into the collapse of BHS published today by the Work and Pensions and Business, Innovations and Skills Committees . As we know Frankenfield is the chair of the former Committee and took the opportunity  to do his well worn holier than thou routine and asked :  “What kind of man is it who can count his fortune in billions but does not know what decent behaviour is?”

For the the full tawdry story : https://www.theguardian.com/business/live/2016/jul/25/damning-bhs-report-leaves-sir-philip-green-under-pressure-business-live?page=with:block-5795a8a3e4b0d75e7e5f2dcd

That was bad enough however I nearly choked on my kedgeree as Frankenfield  with breathtaking hypocrisy called Green a “Napoleon figure who orchestrated all this ” and who was “used to everyone around him doing as they’re told”

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-36879241

Takes a Napoleon to know a Napoleon we thought to ourselves! .

Although in this case Frankenfield ‘s Napoleon being less like Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte and more like the Napoleon from Animal Farm – Our Leader,Comrade Napoleon, Father of all Animals, Terror of Mankind,Protector of the sheep-fold,Ducklings’ Friend – the Emperor of Dissemblance.

Frankenfield went on (and on and on) to demand  that Sir Green should write a cheque for “at least” £571m for the BHS pensioners……..which in comparison his demand for £48,000 x 4  from Wirral Council for his favoured recording artistes seems quite reasonable! .

But what was it about Frankenfield’s insistence that the collapse of BHS  was all down to  model -botherer and yacht-collector Green ?  (he certainly has it in for Greens doesn’t he ?- whether they’re former Wirral Council Directors or the Wirral Green Party).More objective commentators have drawn attention to the fact that the BHS Inquiry deservedly lambasted not only Green , but the buyer of BHS Dominic Chappell and their enablers.

A report in today’s Financial Times titled “BHS report lays bare failure and liability” states that  – ” Some of the report’s most withering passages are reserved for the “directors, advisers and hangers-on” who surround the two men (Green and Chappell) . They “are all culpable”, the MPs say.”

Among the advisers were  Grant Thornton, the accountancy and auditing firm . Who also strangely enough are Wirral Council’s  auditors. We were particularly drawn to the Financial Times comment that these directors,advisers and hangers-on gave the greedy Green “the lustre of credibility”.

We can’t help feeling the same “lustre of credibility” is similarly given to  Frankenfield and the Wirralgate scandal by the likes of Council directors ,advisers, hangers on and in particular Grant Thornton.

We say this as we are in possession of some astonishing correspondence between Grant Thornton and a local person of interest who has asked us to hang fire for the moment as they (and us) await further developments.

So finally we’d like to ask our readers that whilst they’re demanding “Sir ” Philip gets stripped of his knighthood that St.Frank gets stripped of his sainthood and we’ll leave the last word to Napoleon himself …….

Napoleon quote

 

 

The Eagle Has Crash Landed

Eagle private Eye 009

Picture courtesy of Private Eye magazine

Now that Wallasey MP Angela Eagle has withdrawn from the Labour leadership contest we thought we’d take some time out to reflect on what has to have been the most misbegotten overthrow attempt since Lambert Simnel was a pretender to the throne of Henry VII.

Wirral Leaks suggests there are 3 reasons why it all may have gone horribly wrong for Our Ange :

  1. Leadership 

Whilst Her Ladyship thinks she’d make a great Brown Owl for the village hall Brownie pack was anyone ever convinced that Eagle  would be a great leader of the Labour Party?. Now as you know we’re very much  from the school of thought that if you want to tell people the truth you make them laugh otherwise they will kill you. Therefore we think the Dead Ringers skit on Radio 4 absolutely nailed Eagle’s leadership qualities. From her will she ? , won’t she ? , who cares?  -just bloody get on with it!  leadership challenge to her awkward, faltering media appearances listen here from 16:40 on as Our Ange’s entire campaign is summed up in a single sketch:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b07j7nvf

“I may sound like a nervous badger trying to cross a busy motorway but I’m ruthless. Dead ruthless. I’m hard as nails. If I want something I’ll take it …then I put it back . I apologise for taking it and cry when the police are called.” 

     2. Victimhood

Threats and abuse are never to be tolerated but if there’s one thing we’ve learned from observing politicos (and especially local ones) is that they sure know how to play the victim.

Witness Our Ange  whinging on Radio 4 about how she -didn’t -really- want- to- stab Jezza Corbyn- in -the- back -but- it -was- for- the- good- of- the- Labour- Party- and -to -claim- that- she- was- a -Janus-faced -political- opportunist- was- cruel -and -hurtful -and -can -she -please -have -her- teddy- and -her- dum-dum -now- please .

Now we don’t know (nor does anyone) who the perpetrator was or what the motivation behind the brick through the window of the shared premises  where Our Ange’s constituency office is based but Ange herself was very quick to lay the blame at the door of aggrieved local Corbynistas. Although listening to her you ‘d think it was Wirral’s Kristallnacht . Now we’ve never attended a Wallasey CLP meeting and it’s highly unlikely we’d ever be invited so we don’t know what went on between party members.

However what we do know is that if  but if you mislead those constituency members and tell them that everything is fine and dandy and that you support Jeremy Corbyn 100% and then next thing they know you’re mounting a leadership challenge and calling him fit to burn then it shouldn’t come as a surprise that you’re constituency members feel they’ve been misled and are a bit miffed.

And so after all that – not only did you not become Labour leader your constituency members wanted a vote to deselect you as their MP.  As a result we now understand that the whole of the Wallasey Constituency Labour Party has now been suspended by the Labour Party hierarchy. Way to go Ange!.

    3.  Branding

“Angela” – the brand was launched at an ill-fated press conference held to announce her leadership challenge where all the leading main political commentators had dashed off to something much more interesting – Andrea Leadsom’s withdrawal from the Tory leadership contest (oh the irony!).

The pink banners ,the pink flag, the pink jacket, the pink lipstick. More TV daytime host than a potential head of state “Angela” seemed to have hired the same team responsible for the  PR car-crash that was Harriet Harman’s pink battle bus from the last General Election campaign. You’d think they’d realise that it takes more to woo women voters than the colour pink. A marketing guru overdosing on frappucinos must have been paid all kinds of crazy money to come up with the genius idea  :” I know let’s go for pink. Girlies like pink- a lighter , less threatening shade of red”.So much for making much of her female credentials it’s like feminism never happened.

Might we suggest that to keep the attention of the media and musical theatre fans she should should have gone for the full “Think Pink” production number with the built in catchphrase : “Red is dead, Blue is through, Green obscene…..”