Strange Boutique

Now that Wirral Council and Wirral Globe seem to be cosy all of a sudden ( Hmm – we wonder why?) it seems that the (piss) poor Liverpool /Wirral Echo have to make do with scraps off the table. Wirral Council is such a fickle mistress –  even though fickle mistresses always seem to get them into trouble.

Last week the Echo published a ludicrous puff piece in advance of Monday’s Wirral Council Cabinet meeting where the headline screamed :

New plans to turn Birkenhead Town Hall into boutique hotel

Of course if you read the report to which the article refers to – there are no such plans.

Birkenhead Town Hall – Boutique Hotel

However there are pictures of Birkenhead Town Hall with crocuses in the foreground. “What a crocus of shit….” said our butler Eldritch. And who are we to disagree?

The report itself is grandiosely titled ‘ Strategic  Regeneration Framework’  (SRF) presumably because it’s no longer good enough to have a strategy , you have to have a ‘framework’ to go with it – which of course justifies the inflated salaries of those spewing out this nonsense.

Strategic Regeneration Framework

As Wirral Council seem to be so very keen on ‘ reality checks’  lets get the Leaky Towers crew to break it down for them :  Hamilton Square is magnificent. So is Birkenhead Town Hall. And they’re wasted in Wirral Council’s hands.  So having failed to turn Hamilton Square into a glorified roundabout U-Turn On Roundabout = Dead End  

Wirral Council are now hoping that investors are going to flock to them with an open cheque for a boutique hotel .So let’s take a look around –  God bless the Station Hotel. They really, really tried to bring artisan bread to Birkenhead. Unfortunately they didn’t realise that their customer base were more interested in Frank Field getting their housing benefits sorted out. You won’t be surprised to hear they’ve since closed down because those on the breadline don’t choose artisan bread.

Boutique 009

Perhaps the model Wirral Council should be following and to which they should be lowering  their aspirations somewhat and align themselves to is a skanky drug den such as the Central Hotel.

Boutique 012

Just sayin’

Strange Boutique