Following on from our “Tread Softly” piece earlier this week the plot has become as messy and tangled as the shag pile in a 1970’s porno as a couple of leakers have been in touch querying the Council’s claims that the Wallasey Town Hall carpet hadn’t been replaced since 1968. One of our sources states:
The stair carpet was replaced in 1988/89 I remember it well. There was some discussion about why local independent carpet shops has not been asked to quote. Interesting that the firm that supplied the carpet this time went belly up, the Council seem to have a knack of giving contracts to firms that go bust. But it was certainly done after 1968. The carpet in the round room ( which is used for marriage ceremonies ) was replaced last year!. So someone is telling porkies again…..”
Can anyone corroborate this claim or alternatively send someone round to the Town hall with a Vax -as someone needs to come clean….
We maintain that if the carpet had indeed been in Wallasey Town Hall for 46 years it could of crawled into Brighton Street of it’s own accord.Indeed considering all the things that have been swept under it over the years can you imagine what it would reveal if it could talk?
There’s been blood on the carpet ( remember when an irate member of staff took a swipe at former Chief Executive Jim Wilkie – what was all that about?) there’s been carpet burns (…. oh no sorry that was Westminster House) and of course there has been the endless parade of carpetbaggers who have trodden on, not just the carpet, but upon anyone or anything that got it in their way.
We can’t help feeling that where self interest meets political power that money can be found for almost anything – compensation for hurt feelings, plane tickets to China,staircases,refurbishments,free drinks,useless consultants,cover ups……
Let’s just hope the new carpet is bullshit resistant.
We’d like to thank Plain English Campaign for nominating Wirral Council for a Golden Bull Award.
This award dishonours public documents which have proved to be outstanding in the field of bullshit. SEE HERE
This particular nomination (there was also one for the Council last year ) comes from perennial underachievers , the Department of Adult Social Services (DASS) and goes a little something like this…..
“The former model for integrating the integrated arrangements for health and social care were dealt with through separate streams, reablement and carers funds paid to the CCG and a special social care transfer for improved health outcomes, the section 256 agreement, these arrangements are superseded by the Better Care Fund.”
No, we haven’t the foggiest either ! Which is worrying considering that this is meant to be a document for public consumption.
But we all know it’s not really – it’s meant to bamboozle Councillors and bemuse the public.
The purpose of the exercise is to prove that Council Officers know best – they know all the acronyms and all the buzzwords – and all are intended to exclude and enable them to retain their power over those “not in the know”.
However we were pleased to see Power Boy Pip picking up a buzzword from those “in the know” – namely Wirral Leaks – when he commented on the nomination : “I wouldn’t begin to defend it,” he said. “I agree, it is gobbledegook”
Leaky Fans will remember an article from October 2013 T titled “The Pollyanna Principle”
where coincidentally we took particular issue with the mystifying language of Wirral Council’s Annual Governance Statement commenting as follows :
“Anyway we thought we’d check out the 6 principles outlined in the Statement that Power Boy Pip referred to and although we were a little dismayed to find that there is no mention of the Pollyanna Principle, the document nevertheless provided the opportunity to play one of our favourite pastimes at Leaky Towers – Bullshit Bingo!.
Principle 1 : Focussing on the purpose of the Authority and on outcomes for the community including citizens and service users and creating and implementing a vision for the local area
Oh here we go with the visions again! How many Super Directors did it take to come up with that gobbledygook?! Because as anyone will tell you who lives here – life on Wirral would be so much better if only we had a vision! Meanwhile we’ ll have to console ourselves with the mirage that is Wirral Waters”.
Finally in celebration of this well -deserved nomination Wirral Leaks are issuing a special commemorative cut out and keep Bullshit Bingo card.
Any further suggestions of bullshit from Wirral Council documents and communications please send to : firstname.lastname@example.org