The Twelve Days of Christmas : Day Four – Protect Money

 

Protect whistleblowers

One of the advantages of this time of the year is that we can catch up on stories that landed in in our tray but we never got round to because we were distracted by another story and/or we needed to do some further research.

For this story we are indebted to John Brace for having the patience to wade through Wirral Council invoices and publish the details on his website way back in August in a post titled  What has Wirral Council been spending money on in 2017 and 2018 (part 2)

The information that particularly caught our eye was the fact that Wirral Council have paid Public Concern at Work £11,250 for a whistleblowing advice line. Since the publication of these details the whistleblowing charity has since had a re-branding and changed their name to the snappier, if rather ambiguous, Protect.

Now you may be wondering as to why we took a particular interest in this payment . Surely you may think that  it would be money well spent ,even for cash-strapped Wirral Council, especially when you consider their chequered history when it has come to dealing with various high profile and damaging whistleblowing cases. Indeed Wirral Council first bunged the charity £10K + in 2012 when they involved them in re-writing their woeful whistleblowing policies and procedures. However what we take issue with is that Protect already offer a free whistleblowing advice line , so why are Wirral Council paying a premium for a dedicated advice line and how can this possibly be value for money?  It would be interesting to know how many workers have taken advantage of this advice line and what monitoring information that Protect provide to Wirral Council.

What’s more surely there are conflict of interest issues involved if Protect are supposed to be giving impartial, independent advice to Wirral Council workers who have concerns about their employer when ultimately Wirral Council are paying for that advice!

From what we’ve gathered from local whistleblowing sources Protect are not held in high regard anyway, often advising whistleblowers to leave their employment rather than risk the threat of victimisation for the heinous crime of telling the truth. Whilst this sometimes may indeed be in the workers  best interest it does nothing to address their whistleblowing concerns and ultimately it is not in the public interest to allow  employers to ignore the following disclosures that a worker reasonably believes are happening, has taken place, or is likely to happen in the future.

  • A criminal offence
  • The breach of a legal obligation
  • A miscarriage of justice
  • A danger to the health and safety of any individual
  • Damage to the environment
  • Deliberate attempt to conceal any of the above.

Which makes us wonder what’s the Protect money is for ? – to protect whuistleblowers or to protect the reputation of Wirral Council? We certainly know were we’d put our £11,250…

 

Protect

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

what are Wirral Council trying to ‘protect’ their staff orwho is to protect

Floating In The Air

foulkesy-lrj-008

Thanks to all our readers and commentators who have been very patient about our court ruling on not publishing comments during the Employment Tribunal involving Wirral Council which has been held over the last couple of weeks.

Court Out

Fortunately we’ve had regular updates and contemporaneous notes on proceedings from interested attendees.

We were asked yesterday what our thoughts on the verdict would be and our response was:

Whatever the verdict there’s a story to be told here.
A very sad one – for all of us…..
So having found out that after a costly 10 day hearing Alison Mountney had failed to establish that she had suffered any detriment as a result of her whistleblowing we stick by that assessment. It comes to something when Wirral Council staff feel that the only way their concerns will be taken seriously if they take their complaints to an Employment Tribunal – even when it is unlikely to succeed.
Whatever the outcome it was very clear from the eyewitness accounts that we a still dealing with a toxic and dysfunctional organisation.
Management failings were described by Wirral Council’s solicitor Andrew Moore (Eversheds) as ‘learning points’ – a phrase that will most certainly  enter the Wirral Leaks lexicon of shame.
What Wirral resident and Tribunal chair Judge Robinson must have thought about how his Council Tax was being spent we can only imagine.  As he had no jurisdiction to rule on the whistleblowing allegations he apparently made reference in his summing up to them ‘floating in the air’. Yes, like a fart in a lift they stink to high heaven and there’s no escape from them.
This is a shame as no disrespect to respective parties but what interests us most are the  whistleblowing issues. It is very dispiriting to hear that the usual suspects –  senior management ,HR, Occupational Health , internal and external audit and Unison either don’t or won’t deal with the inconvenient ‘unpleasantness’ that comes with whistleblowing and they are left as Judge Robinson states – ‘floating in the air’.
Indeed we’d particularly like to advise Unison members to withdraw their membership and spend their subscription on alcohol, cake or whatever gets them through the working week as Unison will .

One interested spectator was Wirral Council whistleblower  Martin Morton who apparently made an inexplicable  blink-and you’ll-miss-it appearance on the witness stand . He has contacted us to say :

‘I’ve made some bad decisions in my life. Such as working for Wirral Council in the first place. However listening to the testimony at the Tribunal reassured me  that I made the right decision in not returning to that wretched organisation. The poisonous atmosphere of covert recordings, suspicion, long term sickness, mistrust, mutual disrespect and a culture of fear and loathing is not something I would want to endure again’

However , we at Leaky Towers think the final word (or should we say final submission) should go to Wirral Council’s solicitor – the aforementioned Andrew Moore who by all accounts was professional , respectful and measured. Clearly Wirral Council needed to buy these qualities in – and I’m sure someone, somewhere will be doing an FOI request to find out exactly how much it cost us.

Mr Moore is absolutely right in his Tweet above that (some) people are c’s and they can be horrible to each other. Luckily for him it keeps him in very well remunerated work!

WIRRALGATE! – A Portrait in Green and Yellow

Jeff Green

Another Wirral councillor who features heavily in the Thynne 2 report is Tory leader Jeff Green – the target of a supposed ‘smear campaign’ by Labour councillors Foulkesy and George Davies. This has resulted in Foulkesy having to write a personal apology to the alleged ‘victim’ Green which we suspect went something like this :

Hey Jeff

Soz. But we’re still bezzies ,right?

Ta La, Foulkesy

What we’d like to do here is to borrow a phrase that Jeff Green was alleged to have used and blow all of the above out of the water and state loud and clear :

  • There was no smear campaign
  • Cllr Green is not the complainant
  • Green is certainly not a victim
  • There should have been no apology to Green

Firstly the ‘smear campaign’ . This hapless yet minor episode of the  Wirralgate saga proves that Foulksey/Georgie couldn’t organise a piss up in Houlihan’s and yet they have been/are the Leader and Deputy Leader of Wirral Council respectively – go figure!.

And as for Thynne’s conclusion that George Davies didn’t know what was in the letter -this is yet another example of her lack of investigative rigour  when it comes to the allegations against him. Does she really expect us to believe that Davies just asked for a random document about which he had no knowledge whatsoever? We’ve got news for you Patricia – we understand the letter was sent to him by the people you call The Group and we call The Complainants! So this becomes another of Davies’ lies to add to the growing tally.

Looking at the unsigned/undated letter sent by The Group/The Complainants in the appendices to the Thynne 2 report we can only assume that the ‘smear’ about Green was that he ‘courted and feted’ whistleblowers for political ends.

Click to access PT5%20-%20PUBLIC%20PACK.pdf

There is certainly evidence to suggest that this is exactly what Green was doing – having reaped the rewards  of the penalty kick that was the Martin Morton whistleblowing case it now appears that Green had  dealings with The Group/The Complainants. We’d be interested to know why he backed out from supporting them – did he realise this particular ‘whistleblowing’ case  was going to prove to be more problematic? We certainly think so and all of which means you can’t smear someone who takes political advantage of whistleblowers if it’s true! However we don’t think this is the reason that the Liverpool Echo didn’t run a story trying to smear Green (but we’ll save that for a later post).

Callow Green , not wanting to upset his political counterparts, is at pains to explain in both Thynne reports that he did NOT make a Code of Conduct complaint.  However what better way for senior councillors and officers to ignore this and to use this deeply flawed process to protect the powerful. It increasingly seems to us that Green much prefers to be in impotent opposition and in a perpetual state of  feigned “outrage” chasing headlines rather than changing  the culture – he truly is “full of sound and fury signifying nothing”.

Witness his comments in the Wirral Globe :

I urge every resident of Wirral to take the opportunity to read the investigation report now available on the council’s website . I am sure that like me they will be angry and shocked at the antics of senior Labour councillors throughout this whole saga

http://www.wirralglobe.co.uk/news/14659374.New_scandal_at_Wirral_Council_after_probe_reveals__smear_attempt__on_Tory_leader/

Nobody but nobody is going to read a 55 page report ( + appendices) with references to Person A, B and C and where the key witnesses are a no-show. They’d be better off reading Wirral Leaks – and he knows it!.

However the biggest mystery of this whole saga is actually why does Green get an apology when he had ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WHATSOEVER TO DO WITH THE COMMISSIONING OF THYNNE 2 ?.

Green seems to have relied on others (and two surprising people in particular) to get the political football rolling in the hope of – yet again – gaining some political capital out of the sordid situation.

As we shall  discover later the impetus for Thynne 2 came from an email sent to all councillors by serial whistleblower Martin Morton who raised serious concerns about the first Thynne report (among other allegations). Needless to say this was kicked into the long grass until an even more unexpected source belatedly piped up (again to be explored in a later post). An increasingly exasperated Morton has now sent us a copy of an email exchange between him and Green where the latter shows somewhat less than ruthless determination to get to the bottom of the Wirralgate scandal when he writes:

‘You do realise that I am no longer Leader of the Council don’t you? I can ask questions of Officers, make suggestions etc. but ultimately we all know who is running the show.

Throughout the preceding 4 months I have regularly asked for an update over the status of your email and have received a stock answer of ‘we are looking into it to see if there is any new information contained within the email.’

No wonder the power abusers of Wirral Council who are ‘running the show’ can do exactly what they want if this is what passes for robust challenge!.

But at the end of the day what did we expect ? , reading Thynne 2 Green and Foulkesy him seem to tread ‘similar paths’ and are indeed ‘kindred’.

And that is about the most damning assessment that we could ever make of Cllr Jeff Green.

Kindred 008

Leaks Activism

 

“Whistleblowers are exposing the secrets of the powerful and the foundations on which contemporary political and economic power relations are built”

Obviously not everyone likes , understands or supports what we do at Wirral Leaks.

And we’re OK with that.

However some people do like what we do and one has sent us an illuminating article written in the wake of the ‘Panama Papers’ leak titled : “Whistleblowers and leaks activists face powerful elites in struggle to control information”  written by Arne Hintz  – Senior Lecturer in Media , Cardiff University.

Now we’re not saying that anything we do is as significant as the leaks identified in the article but we do recognise that we are a very small part of an emerging news environment identified as the “networked fourth estate”.

For those interested in trying to understand how a culture of “leaks activism” has emerged internationally, nationally and locally might we suggest you have a read of the article and consider what the power elites might have got away with if it wasn’t for those pesky whistleblowers and leaks activists.

https://theconversation.com/whistleblowers-and-leak-activists-face-powerful-elites-in-struggle-to-control-information-57368

Pesky kids

Consultant Insults

CONSUL

Wirral Leaks has been for some time highlighting the worrying situation of Wirral Council hiring highly paid consultants at exorbitant rates whilst at the same time explaining how services must be cut and staff need to be made redundant and anyway it’s all the governments fault.

Wirral Council’s use of consultants seems to be for 3 reasons :

1) For when they’re in a hole of their own making – “Here’s a shed-load of money if you write any old flannel as long as the conclusion is – “No case to answer” !

2) Absolve the Council of responsibility for decision-making  – ” It was the independent,external consultant who recommended that we cull half of our workforce and lay waste to public services.We didn’t want to really ,honestly…..”

3) Compensate for the sheer ineptitude and negligence of  council officers on megabuck salaries who seem to have absolutely no idea what they’re bloody doing!  – As her Ladyship said ” If I was on a life raft and reliant on a full set of chief officers for survival I think I’d throw myself overboard and take my chances with the sharks”

The latest beneficiaries of the Wirral Council runaway gravy train are a consultancy firm by the name of V4 who have given Wirral Council the V-sign and been paid £260,000 for what was initially a £50,000 job – SEE HERE

Nice work if you can get it and you can get it when Wirral Council officers and councillors are simply not up to the job and where it’s always amateur hour!.

Despite this work being authorised by Labour cabinet member Cllr.Chris Meaden , Power Boy Pip displays  his renowned leadership skills and plays pass the parcel by claiming  that the issue “concerns officers”. We were also interested to read about this case that “delegated powers” to  Wirral Councillors allow payment of monies up to the value of £50,000. That’ll explain the £48,000 for “hurt feelings” then!  – ” Let’s keep it just under £50,000 and we’ll throw in a couple of packets of Benson & Hedges”.

Finally Wirral Leaks would like to offer some advice to Wirral Council staff currently facing redundancy who fancy a piece of the action.

A guide on how to become a Wirral Council consultant is helpfully set out on the ever illuminating Wirral In it Together blog:

SEE HERE
The steps are:

1. Prove yourself “useful” to Wirral Council
2. Nab a 12 month contract
3. Set up a consultancy company
4. Think of a number – treble it and there you have your daily rate (£515 in this case)
5. Get your contract extended (with or without councillor scrutiny).
6. Trebles all round!

Green Leaves?

APH-NO-EVOL

We understand that a certain Sue Green, head of HR has recently left the employment of Wirral’s other most prominent employer after Wirral Council  – Wirral University Teaching Hospital (WUTH) as it now fancifully likes to call itself.  On the Wirral rather like North Korea (which apparently has a better life expectancy than certain parts of the Wirral )  people seem to disappear overnight! Not only is no explanation given, it is frowned upon when people ask perfectly reasonable questions.  Those who do dare raise issues meet a wall of silence or glib corporate fudges about ‘confidentiality.’

This of course completes a notable family double after the departure of Mrs Green’s universally loved and much admired other half – Dave ‘Del Boy’ Green from Wirral Council. It is also somewhat serendipitous given the fact that DG is rumoured to have found ‘gainful’ employment again, beyond the confines of the insular Peninsula. Let’s hope there’s a nice local golf club at hand.

Now we don’t know the full circumstances of really happened, or whether this was about the appalling lack of staffing in the hospital because APH’s Department of spin is essentially as communicative as a brickwall, but without the warmth.  However, we are always suspicious when the Chief Executive of WUTH (David Allison) circulates the following type of message to APH’s inmates on the ocassion Sue Green was first absent from work .

Here are some highlights, which rather than enlighten, one feels would baffle employees at the hospital.

“I am writing to advise you of a situation that is likely to appear in the media in respect of this Trust’s Director of Human Resources and Organisational Development

 As with any employee of our Trust, we would not comment on circumstances related to their employment. We therefore intend to issue a response to this effect.

 My purpose of advising you of this situation is that I felt it would be inappropriate for you to learn about it in the first instance via the media.”

 Clear?  Well actually no !
What is particularly curious is that no such story ever appeared or was followed up , no doubt due to some spectacular stonewalling, and Mrs.Green was eventually allowed to quietly disappear from public view and quite possibly as seems to be the trend in that particular household, clutching a big fat wad of public money ( one for devoted Freedom of Information fans to follow up).

From leaks that have been received about this case we at Leaky Towers can only hope that :

a) The media wasn’t being used in this sorry saga as a  bargaining tool rather than serving the public interest.

b) That Mr.Allison is aware that only last week a group of MPs hit out at “outrageous” examples of public bodies apparently paying employees to keep quiet about problems.The Public Accounts Committee (PAC) highlighted that so called “gagging clauses” have been used to cover up serious failures in organisations such as the NHS….and indeed we understand that some of the recommendations were based on a number of cases in the public sector and a particular case involving Wirral Council!

http://www.parliament.uk/business/committees/committees-a-z/commons-select/public-accounts-committee/news/confidentiality-clauses-por/

You Spin Me Right Round Baby

Whilst Council CX,  Goofy “Kubla Khan” Burgess relaxes in the newly refurbished extension of his ego (yes it’s HUGE) over at Clown Hall, Council Staff are not happy.  It appears many may be getting “the bullet, or “F**ked up the arse with rusty spike after being made to eat shit for years” as Eldritch so colourfully puts it.  Even today, despite the spin, we hear tales of the sort of bullying that makes water boarding at Guantanamo Bay seem like a fun filled trip to “Splash Mountain.”

One time Communist Party* member (*citation) Goofy hasn’t exactly had a tricky time with the local media, given the horrendous mess WBC  are still in.  An example of this kind of powder puff, kid gloves treatment revealed itself in all its  ghastly glory when GB appeared on BBC Radio  Merseyside,  and was given the soft focus treatment by Roger Philips…”So Graham, how do you cope with being so f**king awesome, day in day out”

Our rotund and sweet-toothed cook Mrs. Doughball was not happy with this interview AT ALL and got in a terrible lather whilst kneading her large sweet dumplings.  Thankfully, with Verity’s help she took some solace by sending a rather sharp missive to the BEEB.  In short her complaint begged the question why was a public service broadcaster affording dear old Goofy a licence fee funded soapbox to sell his cuddly, cosy ‘vision ?’

Below you’ll find  the BBCs official response.  Maybe staff and soon to be ex-staff  can email Mr Phillips with some suggestions of possible questions to put to good ole Goofy Burgess ?  The BBC Website states ” Whatever your views on the topics of the day, Roger Phillips on BBC Radio Merseyside is the person to call on 0151 709 9333.”

After all he really does want you to have your say over “What Really Matters .” So much so in fact, he commissioned a video

 http://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/marketing_advertising_agency_wor

Now, here’s that Email

***********************************

Subject: BBC Complaints –

Dear Mrs Doughballe [sic]

Reference CAS- Doughballe 417000

Thanks for contacting us regarding Radio Merseyside.
We’re sorry to note you were unhappy with Roger Phillips interview with Graham Burgess.

The programme was a half hour conversation between Roger Phillips and Graham Burgess in the programme “The Phillips Hour”. The focus of the programme is to discover the person behind the title, their career history, and aspects about their personal life. The programme doesn’t set out to examine the current roles of interviewees per se, but instead looks at how they arrived at this juncture of their life.

As you may be aware, Mr Burgess took up his role as Chief Executive of Wirrall [sic] Borough Council on Sept 3rd 2012. Accordingly, Radio Merseyside are planning to have Mr Burgess as a Hot Seat guest early next year, when Roger will challenge him thoroughly on his new role. We believe this will be an appropriate and established platform to conduct the type of interview you suggest.

Nevertheless, we’ve also registered your comments on our audience log. This is the internal report of audience feedback we compile daily for the programme makers and senior management within the BBC. The audience logs are important documents that can help shape future decisions and they ensure that your points, and all other comments we receive, are made available to BBC staff across the Corporation.

Thanks again for contacting us.

Kind Regards

Stuart Webb
BBC Complaints
www.bbc.co.uk/complaints

 

WBC -This Weeks Pay Off’s and Lunacy

Good afternoon, Verity here

A couple of new snippets for fans of all things Leaky..And it’s crazier than Tom Cruise on Planet Mad.

Firstly WBC finally reveal how much they paid off  Employee A And Employee B AKA M&M  –  Mike Fowler and Maura Noone, yes a combined total of £220,539.40 !!!! as revealed by this tenacious FOI  blogger

http://easyvirtualassistance.wordpress.com/2012/05/20/departure-of-two-senior-officers-and-now-a-chief-executive-officer-from-wirral-council/


In other news the results of the Councils “What really Matters” PR exercise in lip-service is out.. SEE HERE 

Somewhat bizarrely the reports author is one Emma Degg, who is apparently Head Of Tourism… We can think of no legitimate reason why a Head Of Tourism would be writing such a report other then the fact that the  Council appears to be planning to put most of its staff on vacation -permanently.

Meanwhile Whistlelower Martin Morton appears on the Community Care website telling his shocking story whilst channelling the spirit of Max Headroom (or maybe it’s just the editing)  http://www.communitycare.co.uk/whistleblowing-in-social-work/


 

And finally a new contract has been published by Wirral Borough Council entitled – “Provision of an Assessment and Triage Service for Deprivation of Liberties Safeguards!!!!” Erm………………..surely not outsourcing statutory responsibilities.

https://www.the-chest.org.uk/procontract/supplier.nsf/frm_opportunity?OpenForm&contract_id=CONTRACT-NWCE-8XFEJX

Take care, Verity x


Quantum of SOLACE

Last night I was rudely awoken from a postprandial snooze by some startling knockers.

Eldritch ran immediately to the Leaky Towers entrance where he saw a couple of figures running away into the distance. ” Fucking trick or treaters!  -should I get the 12 bore M’lud. I understand that nice Mr.Cameron chap is all in favour of blasting the head off bloody burglars……”

 Lady W, exasperated by the fact that her viewing of the documentary “Downton Abbey” had been interrupted, sternly interjected:

 ”Oh really Earnest, must we have such a commotion!  I think Dear David may have had hardened criminals in mind rather than kiddies asking for sweeties……  “

 “It’s a slippery slope M’am…and I should know.  I started off begging for money outside Leaky Square Station with a tatty Guy Fawkes .Next thing you know I’m in a branch of NatWest wearing a balaclava and brandishing a sawn -off shotgun ….”

 

It was at this point that Miss Snoop espied a mysterious note lying on the parquet.Ever the one for proper decorum Lady W declared: “Eldritch – the silver salver and the tortoiseshell letter opener, if you would be so kind.”

 And so with due ceremony I slipped the note from the envelope and this is what it said:

  Statement from the HESPE Whistleblowers

 The HESPE Whistleblowers have met with Wirral Council to express their serious concerns regarding the investigation procedure.

 Mainly that the independent investigator Mr Richard Penn did not interview them or request any evidence from the Whistleblowers.

 Mr Penn did state that he would need to interview the group regarding the statutory officer involvement etc. However, the Council then decided not to involve the investigator any further with the group.

 We are perplexed how the Council has stated (No case to answer) we have informed Wirral Council that this cherry picking manoeuvre will be exposed.

 

And so it would appear another character is added to the cast of Wirral Council Cluedo.Who could be this mysterious Mr. Penn?

 Quick as a flash Verity is fiddling with her i-thingy and it would appear that Richard Penn works for the organisation SOLACE Enterprises.  Which, to be frank, we all thought sounded like an organisation run by a Bond villain.  However according to their website:

 SOLACE (Society of Local Authority Chief Executives and Senior Managers) is the representative body for senior strategic managers working in the public sector.  The Society promotes public sector management excellence and provides professional development for its Members who come from all areas of the public sector.  Whilst the vast majority of its members work in local government it also has members operating in senior positions in health authorities, police and fire authorities and central government.  SOLACE spans all of the UK, having membership in Northern Ireland, Wales, Scotland, and England.

   SOLACE Enterprises is wholly owned by the Society and operates, in effect, as a “not for profit” public sector company.  It provides high quality, customer-focused and practical support to local government, the public sector, and the voluntary sector, both in the UK and internationally.

 Which rather makes SOLACE sound like a Corporate Old Boys Network if you ask us.

At which point it might be useful to remind everyone that Michael Frater is also a member of SOLACE.

 We can only assume that Mr.Penn has been attracting the same kind of financial remuneration from Wirral Council, as did Mr.Frater…………. a quantum of SOLACE indeed.

The Ex-Files Update – Wirral Council

************NEWSFLASH****************NEWSFLASH*******************NEWSFLASH
 
The Ex-Files Update
 
Well I must say the brouhaha that has followed the revelation that Wirral Council’s Former Chief Moneyman  Ian Coleman has swanned off with a big bag of swag amounting to £82K comes as no surprise.However  we our led to believe that this is but nothing compared to the true amount.
 
An anonymous well informed source tells us: 
“The 82K is certainly the tip of the iceberg and is simply the sum Wirral charge payers are handing over to Merseyside Pension Fund to allow the retiree to go before his normal retirement date (60 yrs. minimum)

An additional severance payment is normally paid to the individual concerned and can be up to 66 weeks of salary. Given that Wirral MBC Chief Officers enjoy a remuneration of over £100k per annum the payoff can be well into six figures. Officers mentioned on your site in the past have certainly collected a payoff of this magnitude. “

Lord Wirralleaks is minded to recall the parting words of his late rebellious cousin Sir Jonathan Rotten : “Ever get the feeling you’ve been cheated?
 
We also understand from the same source that David Garry the Chief Internal Auditor – also allegedly implicated in some shady shenanigans may have ”retired” last week.Any information on his “remuneration” would be gratefully received.
 
Of course we’d like to think ,as Council Tax payers, we should be able to freely access the information on where all our money is going and how much is actually involved.However we understand that these Compromise Contracts which are flying around like a flock of birds migrating south for winter, preclude the pesky public from ever finding out about the tidy sums disappearing into the Cheshire countryside.
 
I have to say I am so perplexed by what seems to be a very rum do indeed I wandered into the garden with Lady W in an attempt to clear my head and make sense of it all.It was here that I espied through my monocle the rugged physique of the gardener Eldritch getting to grips with a dirty hoe.I asked him what his considered opinion was:
 ” A fucked up fuck witted clusterfuck, if you’ll pardon my language Sir”

“But Eldritch, can we not take SOLACE ?” I enquired
“Thing is sir, the only thing SOLACE is taking, is the fucking piss,and lots of taxpayers money   if you don’t mind me saying so sir”