The Leaky Awards 2015

500 posts

We must first apologise for the late arrival of the much anticipated annual Leaky Awards.

However we thought we’d wait until it was our 500th post before releasing the names of the lucky and unlucky losers!!!.These are our suggestions – you may have others.If you do we’d be delighted to hear from you!.

It has been a momentous year for Wirral Leaks and we’d like to thank our illustrious contributors,impeccable sources and incredible leakers who helped us SMASH !!! through the 400,000 hits barrier just before Christmas in what was a record breaking year for us at Leaky Towers.

As a point of comparison Council Leader Phil “Power Boy Pip” Davies’ totally tedious “Leaders Blog” has had a total of 15,000+ hits.Did somebody mention public interest?.Somebody needs to tell Pip’s poor-man’s Machiavelli Martin Liptrotsky that he needs to up his game and start earning his £45K shit-glittering fee.Might we suggest sexing the blog up?. Cllr Adrian Jones in a mankini ,Cllr Joe Walsh in a jockstrap, Cllr Moira McLaughlin in her matron’s outfit – that sort of thing.

Meanwhile our 500th post will review our year and explain why we are the pre-eminent political blog on Wirral.Could it be because we prick the pomposity ,highlight the hypocrisy and satirize the sleaze that Wirral politicians and officials have been allowed to get away with for far too long?.

However on with the show :

Campaign of the Year 

What has gratified us more than anything this year has been to witness the Wirral populace emerge from their political apathy and start kicking arse.

Our advice to you all is to do it more often as Wirral Council haven’t got a bloody clue what they’re doing and they just want to avoid adverse publicity at all costs.

So our joint winners are :

Brand New Brighton Rocks On https://www.facebook.com/Brand-New-Brighton-Rocks-On-101238503553982/?fref=ts

Their campaign in forcing Wirral Council to do a U-turn on parking charges in New Brighton was co-ordinated ,reasoned  and reasonable.Wirral Council could learn something from these lot.

Help Save Hamilton Square Birkenhead https://www.facebook.com/savehamiltonsquare/

We were the first to report the criticism about Wirral Council’s circling the Square proposals.We are gratified to report there is now a co-ordinated campaign group.Join and have your say before Hamilton square becomes a less than magic roundabout.

Wirral – the People Fight Back https://www.facebook.com/Wirral-the-People-Fight-Back-1637227719856809/?fref=ts

A regular compendium of Wirral Council woes.Somewhat like Wirral Leaks this campaigning Facebook page acts as a critical friend wanting the council to be better for the benefit of the people of Wirral.However it would seem Wirral Council much prefer non-critical friends like those local government lackeys they had in recently undertaking a “peer review”.

We also should mention the Save Woodside Ferry Terminal campaign but fear that this noble cause may have already been politically hijacked.Was anyone taken in by the “Foulkesy Across The Mersey” charade at Thursday’s Merseytravel meeting?.Let’s face it , when was the last time Foulkes or any other of the leading campaigners (including Frankenfield) used Woodside Ferry terminal?.At least Foulksey has a decent excuse – apparently the last time he was on the landing stage he was nearly harpooned.

We also remain to be convinced by the Save Girtrell Court campaign.We are a big supporter of services for disabled people but so far we’ve only heard from unions,staff,councillors and social services managers.When do the tenants or their advocates get a say ?- and if they do will they have an informed choice about the services they really want?.

Director of the Year    

Shock horror! – the winner of this award does not emanate from the charisma free zone that is Fish ,Blott and Armstrong .

No , the director we’re talking about here is John Brace.The man with the movie camera at meetings across Merseyside .He used to be a master of the single shot but now he’s learned to do tracking shots. Just promise us John that you don’t learn to do close -ups.Nobody wants to see Wirral councillors in close up.Ever.

http://johnbrace.com/

Quote of The Year 

Unison Branch secretary Paddy Cleary apparently “slammed” the proposed closure of respite care home Girtrell Court (see above) by saying: “You really don’t expect this sort of thing from a Labour Council.”

Is this what passes for “slamming” round here?.Seriously Paddy – where have you bloody been?. Oh !-  sitting in Wallasey Town Hall on the Council payroll !.

Memo to Paddy : This a Labour Council in name only and it is exactly the type of “thing” they’ve been doing for years.We deserve so much better and so do your members and until you all realise this your membership and influence will continue to dwindle.

Mathematical Problem of The Year

Somewhat like the lottery , when it came to the departure of three of our most senior Wirral Council officers within a 10 month period of each of other,  the permutations were apparently endless .Three was the magic number of their bonus ball and their lottery win netted them £500,000 of public money –  thereby proving the mathematical equation that two into one does go !.

Cryptic Question: When is a triangle not a triangle? Answer: When it’s a square!.You do the math!

Photograph of The Year

Foulkesy and pussy

Yes – for the second year running it’s multi-award winning  ex this, ex-that , and ex-the other Cllr Foulkesy who saw fit to publicly publish this picture.

We can imagine his acceptance speech for this award will go something like:

“Speaking as one of the main beneficiaries of Frank Field’s “Feeding Birkenhead” initiative I’d like to thank him for his support which has enabled me to keep putting my snout in the trough of plenty for a quarter of a century”.

Although we’ve judiciously edited the picture as the other person in shot is no longer a civic dignitary and therefore no longer fair game we would like to make it clear we did not photoshop this picture.Now ordinarily this would be a caption competition but we’d request that readers insert their own captions in the privacy of their own home.We don’t want Foulkesy having to make a cheque out to himself for hurt feelings do we?.

Finally we’d like to thank everyone for their leaks in the past year and we look forward to publishing more shocking revelations.Currently this seems to be the only means by which wayward Wirral Council officials will be ever held publicly accountable.

Indeed thanks to our much valued sources we already have a couple of eye-watering exclusives to kick off 2016!……….

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “The Leaky Awards 2015

  1. I really do think you should have printed a warning before I scrolled down to the picture of ‘the Greek God’!

    • I agree Will. Most of us prefer the happy shot of the stag do boys on the beach, with arsols in the foreground and phallic par-arsols in the background.

  2. The captured image is disgusting as are the repellant tangerine coloured shorts that this poor beast has been trained to lay upon.(or wear dependant upon your own personal perspective and interpretation of the photograph) If this pose had been set upon New Brighton Beach, Greenpeace would have been perfectly entitled to act and drag the fella back into the sea. The whole thing is disgusting and I’ll be damned if I look at it again.
    It’s images like this one that confirm to me our legislation, both here and abroad are not robust enough to stop this cruel trade in the exploitation of members of the animal Kingdom who probably would rather sit or perch elsewhere and several yards away from the great sweating crotch that this poor creature is being restrained to sit upon. As for the man behind the lens, capturing this happy holiday encounter between man and beast, he’s no better in my eyes than the compliant creature or the fella in the tangerine shorts.
    Frankly, I ain’t even sure what variety of beast it is. It’s clearly a mammal and quite probably a cat. The local cat that’s been trained over the years to do this sort of thing. How would I know? I know nothing! Chances are the fella Foulks doesn’t know or even care either.
    Thinking about it, I’ve zoomed in on the image and it could be a pig. The Algarve White Spot Razorback suckling sow can look similar to this sweet creation of God. Course, it makes no difference. Cat, Pig or some other mammal species, it’s of no significance other than I find it upsetting and I refuse to take a second look at this holiday photograph.

  3. What’s the fella’s cholesterol levels clinically analysed within a controlled sample of blood? Not many of you would even think about this but I do. It’s the sort of thing that bothers me. Can’t help myself!
    Is the fella on Statins? I’ve got a similar waistline and when they collected the data from my blood sample, they popped me on Statins and said, ‘congratulations you are now more swine than human.’
    I’ve reluctantly taken a second look at this image and after studying all of him above the waistline and beneath the fella’s breasts, or as they could be easily described as small and fast developing mammary glands, I reckon that the belly I’ve been gazing at is a short hop away from an exploding artery.
    Tell the fella! Heed this warning. Don’t live life like me and have folk shouting ‘clear off home fatso’.

  4. Pingback: Park and Get Taken For A Ride | Wirralleaks

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