LEAKYPRAVDA Last week saw the launch of Birkenhead Constituency Committee’s long awaited Pravda meets poverty porn publication “Talk of the Town” ,er sorry no we mean “Toy Town”,no “Town Talk” ! which we’ve been breathlessly anticipating here at Leaky Towers – SEE HERE
The target audience for this most significant document since the Magna Carta is nailed in it’s introduction :
” So whether you live in Bidston,Rock Ferry ,Beechwood or Oxton we aim to have something in here for you and if there isn’t then let us know what is happening where you live and we’ll try to include it in our next edition”
Clearly there’s nothing of interest going on in Birkenhead,Prenton and Tranmere! either that or the people behind the publication are confident that they’ve got these wards boxed off in the forthcoming elections.

The previously avowed “apolitical” credentials of the newsletter are evidenced on page 1 as the first picture we see is a photograph of Frankenfield,Power Boy Pip and Matron McLaughlin “opening the cafe at the Vikes”.

Curiously there’s no mention in the newsletter that £22,000 of public money was given to Lairdside Communities Together to cobble together this PR opportunity. Readers will remember than in a previous Wirral Leaks story

https://wirralleaks.wordpress.com/2014/04/14/pravdacadabra/

that we identified that the first two names who appear listed as Company Directors of Lairdside Communities Together were Rock Ferry Labour Councillor Christine Meaden and Councillor Philip Leslie Davies aka Wirral Council leader Power Boy Pip

No conflict of interest there at all!.

Talking of which can somebody tell us why Frankenfield chairs the Birkenhead Constituency Committee?. How does an MP get to make decisions on council spending – is Power Boy Pip doing a job swap which means he will be galloping off to the House of Commons to vote ? …….

But then of course we need to remember it is Frankenfield who decides most things around here including the use of council money to bury bad news.

We are not providing a link to the document as you will waste 2 minutes of your life that you will never get back – unless of course you’re a fan of word searches. There’s a particularly hard gardening themed example at the end of the document featuring such challenges as “LILY” and “TULIP” .We wasted hours searching for what we thought was the most appropriate word : “COMPOST”.

Other than that it’s the usual stuff – community projects,volunteering for the unemployed and food banks. Worthy though these projects are we can’t help feeling that the Committee should have renamed the newsletter “Frank’s Foodbank Quarterly” and be done with it.

As you know Her Ladyship is a trash mag aficionado and makes some suggestions to “sex up” the next edition .She advises Lairdside Communities Together to take a peak at new women’s magazine OMG! which promises : “Your jaw will hit the floor when you read the SENSATIONAL real life tales of love cheats caught out, crimes that’ll make your hair stand on end and lots, lots more….”

As the Lord and Ladyship knows there’s enough of that around at Wirral Council to keep them in publication for eternity……

http://omg-magazine.co.uk/

1LENIN

The Mystery of The Missing Money

 1MONEY
So let’s set the scene – a sophisticated soiree in Chester and a journalist sidles up to the then head honcho at Wirral Council and emboldened by alcohol and contempt (and tell us what journalist isn’t?) asks :
“So tell me what have you done with all the money….?”
Fast forward to a Wirral estate and a wizened Councillor who conspiratorially whispers about suspended Directors and the missing millions and click goes the record button…..
An Ode to Redundancies
Makeovers, cover ups
Piss ups and fuck ups
Toxic debts, taxi rides
Pay offs and inquiries
An improvement journey
On a runaway gravy train
Of fruitless foreign travels
‘Til the mystery unravels
They hired a consultant guru
Paid a premium to shaft you
Tell us: Is it finally understood
How you lost your livelihood ?
However as this particular roll call shows some Wirral Council staff have done rather well making “difficult decisions” when it comes to redundancies , proving once and for all there is no honour in honorariums –  it’s more about acting the part than acting up.

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

1REDACT
“There is a purpose to journalism…It is not to pander to political power, big corporations and rich men” – Peter Oborne – journalist resigning this week from Telegraph newspaper group

During the interminable run-up to the local and national elections we must learn to get used to PR and puff pieces and party political broadcasts masquerading as news so Wirral Leaks will continue to bring you the news that you won’t read in local newspapers or websites.
Wirral Council – please take note  below  are just some of the despairing correspondence sent to us recently by your adoring public…..

I Spy With My FOI

“Haven’t bothered for a while but seen John Braces video from the council budget proposals for the coming years and then was amazed to see my old job (only twelve months ago) with a hefty bit of investment and the promise of new staff to carry out a role deemed redundant only last March.
After many emails, F.O.I requests, meetings with councillors who soon disregarded me as soon as they realised I was talking sense and trying many other avenues to raise the point making us redundant was a stupid idea in the first place because their plan was built on lies and was quite shit also.

Now Philly boy has eventually decided that yes it was a shit idea and as he was told the Police couldn’t carry out the same role carried out by the council staff and for the amount of money invested in the cctv and repairs it was better left alone with the fully qualified staff carrying out their role much un-noticed but much admired and appreciated by Merseyside police officers and many other stakeholders. As previously stated they were all hoodwinked by our ex boss …… who is now failing to pitch for council contracts..thankfully.”

We Don’t Need No Education

“The level of misconduct, negligence and breach of the legal responsibilities of Wirral LEA (Local Education Authority) and Social Services confounds me.
I am being forced to take legal action against them as, even now, their behaviour (is) ridiculous.”

Our Source Is Outsourced

“I don’t know if you are aware that a company is being set up (extremely quickly!) by the council for all the services who trade / provide services to schools , it will run as a partnership with Cheshire and Cheshire West, like Cosocious. Staff will be type transferred across so they no longer will be council employees, they also will loose the option to take EVR /redundancy at the enhanced rate. No negotiations have been had with unions and staff have not been told t&cs (terms and conditions,) The financial information is not forthcoming to staff in relation to the ‘ business case ‘ that was drawn up by consultants ( which were apparently paid for by the government) so it makes the staff ask the question , is this company being set up to fail to rid the council of a number of staff at a reduced redundancy rate? I do wish to remain anonymous please, as repercussions do still happen within the council ”

Preaching to the Converted

‘Spect you’re v. busy with elections looming. Don’t know if the mormon councillor for Prenton’s standing for re-election in May but here’s some info about his ‘church’ & their latest efforts.

HERE 

“How he’s balanced commitment to this organisation with his role as a Labour councillor is baffling. Throw in his continued membership of XXX……well, just makes your head start to spin. Why is he still chair of a major committee? (Merseyside Pension Fund) & how does he find the time to fit everything in? His building company SDA’s got a lot of planning applications currently in process; the late (but unlamented) Dirty Food, Hoylake (prev Bej Vegetarian) restaurant’s been re-incarnated as Steak & Lobster & his day nursery (Little Angels), occupies a disused mormon meeting house in Moreton is pretty much full.”

Which brings us to …..

Alison McGovern wringing her hands –  HERE - & he’s coining it from this venture. Last OFSTED inspection (October 2012) reports 66 children in attendance. The mormons’ll conveniently overlook this one tho as all his income generates at least 10% for them so he’ll be filling their trough nicely & the good people of Wirral have helped those donations along over the last 4 years as his councillor allowance will also be available to tithe. Plus gift aid & if he is up for re-election, that’ll be another 4 years of creaming off the 10% from the long suffering citizens of Wirral.

Uneasy Lies The Head That Wears A Crown.

HENRY-THE-ERIC

Her Ladyship has been avidly watching the BBC adaptation of Wolf Hall which details the intrigues of the court of Henry VIII and she couldn’t help but draw comparisons with the modern day machinations of Wallasey Town Hall……….

As we know our new king-in-waiting Eric “Feeble” Robinson, currently deputy CEO and “Director of People” at Staffordshire County Council, is on his way in ,whilst it would appear that someone who was the power behind the throne may be on their way out ……

Curiously we understand that Eric Feeble tried and failed to get the top job at Staffordshire – and so it would seem that Staffordshire’s loss is Wirral’s , er, loss – especially as sources describe him as ” dull”.

What’s more he’ll soon have to ditch his dictator-like “Director of People” tag and realise that there’s only one “Director of People” round here isn’t there Frankenfield?

Under the circumstances his appointment comes as a great disappointment to us at Leaky Towers as our last monarch Comrade Burgesski proved to be an endless source of material for satire – especially towards the end of his tenure – talk about there’s no fool like an old fool!

Which brings us seamlessly on to our next subject who apparently has suddenly taken to that old standby of “feigned victimhood” and probably on legal advice has realised that if you’re possibly going to bang in a constructive dismissal claim then turning up for work and smoking fags out the back of the Town Hall every day won’t help their case.

Of course one of Eric Feeble’s first (of many) headaches will be to sort this particular pressing problem. Certainly it would seem the Labour group urgently want this latest development “sorting” – ie, yet another big bung before the election. However the tried and tested formula of trying to make the person concerned redundant and pretending to delete the post would mean this decision would have to be discussed at full council, something that would prove highly problematic for certain councillors…….especially if the usually docile elected members wake up and cynically smell a political opportunity.

What’s more this Boleynesque “tragic heroine” figure does indeed know where all the bodies are buried (and even further has regularly been at the graveside casually dragging on a fag as someone else’s career was turned to ashes in the name of reputation management ).

This is indeed turning out to be a salutary tale of how the the court of Wallasey Town Hall operates – the once highly favoured courtier eager to serve those ruthlessly abusing their power who misjudges their influence and authority and swiftly becomes a liability and a target of the self-same tactics they themselves once espoused.

Under the circumstances we predict this case will be expedited quicker than Stevie Wonder singing “Signed,Sealed,Delivered” on amphetamines….especially when an old alliance has been “reignited” (pun intended) with an equally addled nicotine fan. This is particularly curious development as there were all kinds of lurid accusations flying about Wallasey Town Hall before our main protagonist became suddenly indisposed.

Not indisposed enough to prevent applying for jobs elsewhere however …and where was they making that last failed attempt to jump ship? Why could it be Staffordshire County Council?, currently home to one Eric ” Feeble” Robinson…………… we can almost hear the cries of “The Queen is dead – long live the King….” ringing round the corridors of our very own local version of Wolf Hall .

Wolf Hall – Daily Mash Style

 

What A Load Of Testimonials!

JAIL

We have been following yesterday’s reports in the local press who were in attendance at Wirral Magistrates court where the Jack Nolan “Teenage Rampage” case reached it’s inevitable conclusion as ” Our Jack” gets a slap on the wrist. SEE HERE AND HERE

JACK2
As Nolan pleaded guilty to charges of affray and assaulting a woman by beating Judge Michael Abelson gushed:

“This is a wholly exceptional case.I can’t remember the last time I read so many testimonials from such an extraordinary range of people, from parish priests to head teachers….”

He also quite unbelievable went on to say – “”I can see what’s happened here. This young man who doesn’t really drink alcohol has had drink given to him by the gallon and feeling nice and relaxed and having a nice evening, has just drunk himself senseless”   Oh so that’s OK then…  although you missed the bit out about assaulting a woman and attempting to stab people… bless him. The poor lad is obviously the victim here.

Might we suggest that Judge Abelson gets out more or at least appraises himself of how things work on the sinful peninsula . This is NOT an exceptional case at all – and ordinarily we wouldn’t comment on the antics of a drunken, violent woman beating prick…..but in this case we will make an exception.

And the reason we comment is that this sordid little story is symbolic of EVERYTHING THAT IS WRONG.

It’s the usual topsy-turvy world of Wirral which we report on week in week out on Wirral Leaks where “the great and good” run to the defence of the guilty and the tired old meaningless cliche of “lessons have been learned” is trawled out ,until the next time and the time after that……. The only lesson that “No-Mark” Nolan will have learned is that when you’re in trouble it’s not who you beat up it’s who bigs you up.

If Nolan’s mother wasn’t the Mayor’s consort – would the outcome have been different?

Who knows? – but it certainly didn’t work against him as he was able to drag on a cast of hasbeens ( Ex-Cllr Bri “Nylon” Kenny ), nonentities ( Power Boy Pip) and God -botherers ( Father Phil – who’s stock in trade is forgiveness – and Lord knows he’s had enough practice with Foulkesy).

Meanwhile we see this sinister hypocrisy on a bigger and more sickening scale with the defence of Foulkesy himself and his sidekick Georgie Boy Davies by Frank Field and Power Boy Pip as they try desperately to cover up the Wirralgate scandal. Those tapes must be worth “A King’s Ransom” (or more accurately “A Mayor’s Ransom”) by now.

So next time you see Power Boy Pip trailing behind Frankenfield like a scabby dog, shaking his head in despair at anti-social behaviour in the badlands of Birkenhead just remember his fawning testimonial from today and ask yourself would he be quite so quick to run to the defence of kids who aren’t quite so well connected ?.

On a final note we’d like to contrast Judge Abelson’s concern about how a less lenient sentence might have affected poor “No-mark” Nolan’s future career prospects with the complete lack of concern show by Wirral’s councillors to those people who’s careers have been destroyed as a result of exposing Council corruption.

WIRRALGATE! – THE MOVIE

MONEY
Wirral Leaks is proud to announce the forthcoming blockbuster : “Wirralgate! – The Movie”.

This film has everything a film noir thriller should have and more – a cinematic masterpiece with more twists and turns than a rattlesnake on a rollercoaster .

Featuring…….

THE MASTER MANIPULATOR
Behind the suave presence ,the benign demeanour and the prissy pursed lips lies a ruthless mastermind hell bent on sustaining the status quo- AT ANY COST!

PuppetMaster
THE AGENT OF DEATH

Quasimodo with a comb-over. The dealmaking go-between with a fine line in casual racism. Money doesn’t talk – it whispers: ” Give us the letter and we’ll sort you out” – AT ANY COST!!

Charles_Laughton_Quasimodo
THE HARDFACED SCHEMER

plannine6

Feckless and wreckless  and of late has been seen gadding about the Wirral dressed like an incongruous  Matalan outcast from Wolf Hall- but look beneath the surface, and beyond his penchant for outlandish fancy dress and you’ll find this pie eating luddite has low friends in high places,  and they’ve rescued him time and time again – AT ANY COST!!!

THE FRONT

All the substance of the invisible man.The fall guy who sees no evil,speaks no evil,hears no evil . Given the choice between right and wrong he chooses to support a cover up – AT ANY COST!!!!

theinvisibleman7

THE FEMME FATALE

tobeornoirtobe3

Don’t be fooled by the fluttering eyelashes – the eyewitness to that document knows all their dirty secrets….and they’ll pay for silence – AT ANY COST !!!!!

THE STOOGES

1024x768_three_stooges_grayscale_monochrome_wallpaper-40133

Can they play the players at their own game?….”SOITENLY!” They’ve got what the others want and they’ll pay for it – AT ANY COST!!!!!! ………

Wirral Leaks Welcomes Stressed Eric

Stressed Eric

So Wirral Council appoints a new Chief Executive.

And it’s not as we predicted a person of the female persuasion – no,no,no – that would be a step too far. So it’s back to the usual “M” template – male,middle aged,middle class,malleable. The only departure is that this one is apparently a Reds fan – whether this means LFC or the local Labour elite we don’t yet know.

As devoted readers of Wirral Leaks will know we don’t like to judge but the picture in Echo doesn’t instill confidence.

Eric

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/news/liverpool-news/former-social-worker-appointed-wirral-8595400

We’re minded to recall the character Eric Feeble from the Stressed Eric cartoon – and let’s face it if he’s not “Stressed Eric” now he will be as soon as he discovers the shameful legacy he has inherited………

Carry On Cabby

Cabby

Just to follow up our NO MORAL AUTHORITY story earlier on this week there’s been some magnificent work undertaken by John Brace on his blog HERE

Here we find details of payments ( previously hidden from public view) for taxi rides exclusively for Labour councillors who are doing their bit in the name of austerity by seemingly hopping into a cab if it looks likely there’s going to be a spot of rain.

Top of the league table for the year 2013-14 was none other than the Comeback Queen herself – Matron McLaughlin with a whopping £755.30 taxi bill (runner -up in running up a bill is Cllr Pat “What a Packet” Hackett with a measly £700)……

In consideration of such a hefty private hire perk we’re left speculating here at Leaky Towers as to whether McLaughlinallthewaytothebank doesn’t drive (and if so – why is this Council tax payers problem ? ) or perhaps it means she, very sensibly, can safely have a tipple at functions or maybe she makes mercy dash deliveries to Wirral’s burgeoning foodbanks from the comfort of her own personal black cab or is it because of her big tips???

What we also want to know is whether a holier-than-thou councillor ( surprisingly not on Brace’s Taxi Rank ) has renounced his cab voucher handouts to his drinking buddies in the Brighton Hotel pub opposite the Town Hall.
How public-spirited some of our councillors can be!…………..

If its broke – don’t fix it!…

Can He Fix It ? Can He Fuck !

Can He Fix It ? Can He Fuck !

Awards -nominated Wirral Council finally get round to looking at their use of consultants and specifically at a case which we covered extensively last year

SEE HERE

And what do you know ,it would appear that a council report identifies that in the style of Sybil Fawlty’s Mastermind specialist subject ( i.e statin’ the bleedin’ obvious) council officers had broken rules and regulations when it comes to consultantcy contracts.

SEE HERE

Now we’ve long claimed that “The Curse of Consultants” is a plague that is affecting councils up and down the land – they are the locusts of local government – however Wirral Council seems to be a heaven sent haven for these cash-hungry hasbeens (as most of them seem to be retired/redundant council staff).

However what infuriates us here at Leaky Towers is the sheer sloppy incompetence and laissez -faire laziness of some council managers who clearly hold councillors in complete contempt – which for the most part is justified – and think that it’s OK for a £50K contract to spiral out of control into a quarter of a million pound cash prize bonanza.

“We don’t understand this complicated contract stuff …” the well-remunerated “managers” whimper ( this was also a feature of the Wirralbiz whistleblow case ) – conveniently forgetting they have a legal department to advise them on such matters – on second thoughts perhaps not – the legal department seems to be crying out to be a test case for euthanasia.

We note that in this instance Frankenfield hasn’t taken a break from pontificating about poverty to make headline grabbing calls for sackings and lynchings and the intervention of the Serious Fraud Office.

But then why would he when it was Labour acolyte Chris “Meany” Meaden who took her eye off the ball on this one and let council managers carry on their merry way and run up a massive bill without actually checking it was OK to do so ?……
Although apparently to ensure the mistakes are not repeated managers are to receive extra training and guidance…….on what ? – how to do their bloody jobs properly!

But really what does Wirral Council expect ? This is what happens when there are no consequences,no accountability, no sanctions and no sackings.

In the unlikely event of a council manager facing disciplinary action for any misdemeanour they would be perfectly entitled to turn round to councillors at an appeal hearing and say :

” You’re having a laugh aren’t you? after what you lot have been up to ? , and when Foulkesy is the mayor! you lot are in no position to take anyone to task.”

Consequently it seems that council managers are laughing in the faces of councillors and the public of Wirral and this is what happens when an organisation has completely lost all MORAL AUTHORITY.

Q & A

Power Boy Pip sitting next to super-sub CEO  proudly announces Wirral Council has been nominated for some awards or other at this weeks Cabinet meeting. We think the word "Bottom" displayed prominently on the case to the right of the screen is an apt commentary on proceedings as we think Pip is talking through his arse.

Power Boy Pip sitting next to super-sub CEO proudly announces Wirral Council has been nominated for some awards or other at this weeks Cabinet meeting.
We think the word “Bottom” displayed prominently on the case to the right of the screen is an apt commentary on proceedings as we think Pip is talking through his arse.

One of the attractions of this blog is that not only does it provide an outlet for people who’s grievances would not otherwise be aired but we also get enquiries from people trying to make sense of the three ring circus that is Wirral Council. So in our role as a Public Interest Service Broadcaster we’d like to impart the benefit of our observations through beady eyes and answer some questions that have been posed this week by some of our devoted readers : JG asks: “They really are a laugh a day. Their local propaganda rag. Local authority shortlisted for most improved council award…… who knows what is going on?”

SEE HERE

Well JG what is going on is what is known in the trade as “Reputation Management”.These are awards where councils nominate themselves…and of course Wirral Council being The Council With No Shame has nominated themselves in 4 categories ( Cover Up of the Year,, Staircase of the Year,Greatest Local Authority In The Entire History of The World – Ever! Award and Batshitcrazydeludedfools of the Year ).
Take no notice JG – the Local Government Chronicle is the trade paper of the Local Government Association (LGA).The LGA has had more money off the council than corrupt,incompetent council officers exiting out the back door after they’ve been found out. Consequently Wirral Council will be a shoe-in for an award and no doubt they’ll thank LGA for all the help they’ve had and the symbiotic ,parasitic, backslapping,money-making merry- go-round will continue ad nauseum

PG asks: Just wondering what you thought of temporary appointment, for no extra money, of D. Armstrong as acting Chief Exec?
We think David “Who?” Armstrong is nothing more than a corporate journeyman. He’s no doubt done a Howard Cooper. Remember him ? – Frankenfield wasn’t too keen which guaranteed him an OBE- .Cooper was the poor sap who inherited the basket case that was the council’s social services department in the fall out of various damning reports.He agreed to take it on as long as he could exit swiftly on favourable retirement terms and we suspect Armstrong will do something along the same lines. He’ll be around long enough to sign the hush money cheques to “The Group” whilst Frankenfield hovers over his shoulder.
Quid Pro Quo (with emphasis on the Quid bit.)

PG asks (again) : Also IT roll-out outsourced to SCC, which would lend to the idea that they would take over support for IT throughout the council ???

We’re not exactly au-fait with this interweb stuff but we are familiar with the phrase “outsourced” and we suspect that SCC (whoever they are) will soon be the ones advising council staff having IT problems : ” Have you tried switching it off and switching it back on again?” for BIG money.

PG asks (further) : Or the validity of social services personnel being given 2K to stay in Wirral with essential mileage perks ??
2K?? We know everyone has their price but talk about selling yourself cheap.But then Wirral social services is notoriously cheap and nasty…….

And finally…

PM :Whilst I cannot prove anything, news reached me today that X had to leave as he got caught with his trousers down with a woman called Y at HQ and she was already having an affair with someone else. ! I bet he was another leaving with a big pay out.Disgusting. Hope you can dig something up

We’re sure that such shenanigans would never go on in the cesspit that is Wallasey Town Hall and I’m afraid that Wirral Leaks would never indulge in such scurrilous enquiries…..mainly because we don’t have to – we’re sat sitting here in the sitting room just waiting for it to come to us!……