A View To A Kill


Oh the irony! – good job all those unread copies of Wirral View are next to the Twister Bin!

Of the many complaints we get about Wirral View , they appear to be split 50/50 between people who have never received a copy and those who have received one and told us that they felt their IQ had immediately halved.

Examples cited from the latest edition included advice about how to get kids involved in making pancakes on Shrove Tuesday – among the 10 tips was the indispensable ‘Double check the hob is off when you’ve finished cooking’ and ‘Don’t cook after drinking alcohol’. Oh please!, the frozen pizza industry would be decimated if the latter were ever the case!

We were also gratified to read that the description ‘ look injured, are very small, or lethargic’ did not apply to some Wirral Council senior managers we could name , but to lost hedgehogs.

As you know we’ve reported on problems with Wirral View’s distribution from the word get go :


However Wirral Council’s own lost hedgehog , head of communications Kev MacCallum, appears to be still in denial about the ongoing situation.

A Freedom of Information request made by the wonderfully named Birgitta Kuhlmann-Muller following the publication of the first edition of Wirral View, asked the following pertinent questions:

1. How you make sure to fulfil your statement on your own website that
“The publication will reach every household and business in Wirral “?
2. Which kind of distribution method did you use for the first edition?
3. How many households were directly served with a publication through the letter box in each ward ( please list each ward in Wirral)
4. What were the distribution costs for each ward and in total?
5. How much income was generated from adverts?
6. What were the overall expenses for printing, design etc.?


As you can see from the subsequent response from Wirral Council and further annotations by Ms Kuhlmann -Muller the problems with distribution persist:

‘Contrary to your statement that 8 of 10 households got the Wirral view delivered through their letter boxes, I have heard of not a single household in West Kirby who had received theirs.
The Wirral view was stacked in libraries but not delivered to households.’

And therein lies the problem. When Wirral Council make a hyperbolic claim that Wirral View ‘will reach every household and business in Wirral’ they (and the company from Liverpool they’ve hired) need to DELIVER -in both senses of the word. No wonder they can’t get any advertising when local businesses must know that an advert would be a waste of money as the newspaper’s reach seems to be variable at best and negligible at worst.

It is not good enough (as the above picture sent in by one of our readers illustrates) that the distribution company is just dumping thousands of copies of Wirral View in libraries,shops and public venues and hoping that someone has an urgent need to read about pancakes and hedgehogs (and whilst at Leaky Towers we love them both – believe us they don’t do anything for our so called ‘information deficit’!)

And so with threats of government intervention and calls to cull the rag we at Leaky Towers say it’s time to put Wirral View out of its (and our) misery. Perhaps then the council can spend the money on something more useful like yet more overpaid and incompetent policy wonks!


26 thoughts on “A View To A Kill

  1. Years back, the legend on all Wirral street litter bins was “WIRRAL BIN. POP IT IN”.

    I was walking past the Captain’s Pit in Wallasey one day and somebody had obliged with a local bin. It had been popped in the lake, standing up, with its legend facing out. It could have been a viral piccie if we’d had the internet.

    Which also reminds me, I won’t be surprised if some Wirral View delivery people are doing similar before collecting their pay cheques, rather than demeaning themselves / spoiling a good walk, delivering Liptrot and MacCallum’s dire offering to people trying to get on with their lives.

  2. I personally find it very pleasing that Wirral View can be found a (round) the twist (er) bin.

    I assume the Aussie will notice how clever I have been there….

  3. G’day Leaksville

    Oh “Interested” don’t give up the day job.

    What they could do to popularise their monthly comic.

    Like Ant and Dec do they could give away tickets on “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING and Deluded Dill’s” trip to the Commonwealth Games on the Gold Coast in Australia on the Uncle Joe flight alongside the Basnetts’ and Adderleys’ and assorted retinue.

    To win all you would have to do is go to a full Clowncil Meeting and decide when “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING and Deluded Dill” is not lying.

    The major prize given if you can detect when he is actually telling the truth more than once is first class tickets with the triangle flying QA(I)NTA(R)S, mile high club optional.



    Look out “Fartin Lobsterpot” I am after your job.

    What do you actually do again for £300+ per day?

    Luv ya L as much as Easter Eggs XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  4. G’day Leaks

    Forget those evil thoughts about winning a golden ticket on “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING and Deluded Dill’s” magical mystery tour down under (Oohh smelly) with Uncle Joe and the “triangle” on that QA(I)NTA(R)S(E) junket to the Commonwealth Games for a moment or else it will fall off Lordsville.

    More news for their next comic that is not even half a mile high.


    InfoMgr, FinDMT would like to recall the message, “FOI 1125196 – Police crime commissioner election expenses”.

    Oh dear, what little nobody will be bullied out of the joint for not asking “Sir Git” if they could DOB HIM IN in public.

    £1,100,00’s worth of sheer panic and horror.

    So anyone finding “FOI 1125196 – Police crime commissioner election expenses” please return it to Head of Law and he will tell you the time on his massive clock.

    I said clock My Good Lord.

    Is it him, is it her or is it that greedy little piggy in Blackburn who wouldn’t share?

    When you don’t get given what you think you deserve whether you have done the duties or not is it RIGHT to just help yourself to wirral taxpayers’ monies?

    You still have to pay your second mortgage payments on your SHINY WATCH so it is only fair.


    My stint in the Audit Commission indicated money was just chucked in a big pot and then it was anybody’s.

    Keep an eye on that next massive tranche announced by“Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING and Deluded Dill” this week and watch the pigs in and around the trough.



    Oh Lordsville I just wish they would sort out Wirral “Funny” Bizz to whistleblowers satisfaction and I could stop writing this shite about this shite.

    Luv you L and will think of you every time I (better not say that) have a cream egg.

    See I do have a filter “Interested”.

    Anyone notice which election it was ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha??????

    Correct answers win a ticket to the airport to wave them all off to Australia.

    • The Rozzers need to look into all this!

      (Eh? Have I gone back in time to the 1950s?)

      I must be going round the..

      • “Interested”

        You are nearly as stupid as me.

        The rozzers weren’t “Interested” in Wirral “Funny” Bizz knocking off £2,000,000.00 even though one admitted that there was a fraud, as did Beverley Edwards as did Grant (Chocolate Teapot) Thornton.

        It all gets squared off down on the square.



        Ask that wirral judge.

        Still can’t believe the claimant let him sit.

        Saying that the claimant was never going to win against their £100,000.00.

        wirral taxpayer monies.

  5. I picked up a copy of Wirral View when I attended the Budget Oversight Meeting, it’s just propaganda and trash, a complete waste of council tax, none of the households in Upton have received a copy!

  6. Still no delivery here either in leafy old Oxton. I live in a flat with eight letterboxes, plenty of opportunity to dump more as well, the Wirral Globe people do.

    • Maybe that Wirral Judge should have said “I recuse myself” from that court case, ( with Sir Git and his big wrist clicker) but looking at America at the moment, they do have to taken kicking and screaming to reach such a point….

      Sir Git should read up on Watergate, someone close to him is going start whispering about all of his big shiny wrist jobs. ….or will he be the one whispering on Phil?

      The Aussie will know…….and of course your good self Lord Leaks also…….

      ….and Highbrow…..

      Get the fecking Rozzers in!!!

  7. G’day Leaks

    I was listening to that man with selective memory when it comes to local clowncils on his phone in yesterday, you know, were the Great Burgess said 29 mistakes in 7 seconds, over Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant wirral Waters.

    I think I know why Fartin Lobsterpot has been appointed…..don’t laugh.

    I said don’t laugh oh great one.

    “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING and Deluded Dill” does not have the intellect to follow instructions.

    A couple of people phoned in from St Helens and they were quite eloquent on the issues around their town and their labor council.

    They spoke about their leaders being liars (translating to not being open, honest and transparent) and all the issues around building, building, building.

    They collectively said that St Helens is dead.

    One spoke of them clowncillors having big dreams and talked of their “babies”, projects, like what “Dill Wit” raves about his golf resort.

    How is that football golf going you half wit Phil?

    They don’t even have a register in St Helens of what is green, brown, grey or any other colour belt.

    But the clowncil talk of building on the brown land so people think they are lying lying lying.

    I do believe Burgesski went off originally to “building” in St Helens after the “triangle” turned into a turd and the fight in the corridor was bigger than Hayes v Bell who so obviously that is were the big tranches of dosh will turn up.

    And turn up in bucket loads.

    So who is behind the masterplan?

    St Helens according to the phoner inners is dead, dead, dead so the last thing they need is fancy housing that no one can afford to buy.

    Does wirral need housing on green belt which effectively is going to happen on the pretend golf resort.

    You decide.

    Still awake Leaksville?

    So “Phil”, believe it or not L, probably doesn’t want his west kirby, hoylake, caldy spoilt, he doesn’t want to share it like Burgess didn’t want to share his election expenses with Sir Git or her with pig flu so he has been told by ????????????????????????????????? that Fartin Lobsterpot is coming in, no questions asked by those pesky peanut torys, lib dems or anybody to ensure building, building building goes ahead.

    Stop laughing Leaky I think I might be on to something.

    Who is behind it?

    Is it Uncle Joe, doubt it, is it LiverPeel?

    Any suggestions?



    Do you really think Lordsville that whistleblowing on Wirral “Funny” Bizz’s £2,000,000.00 has made me go loopy?

    Please be open, honest and transparent.

    I will still luv yer in the morning XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    • Talking about the “triangle”. During that time I was having a spot of late lunch in a local hotel/pub diner on the A59 when out from the hotel wing came the CX quickly followed by his Head of Engagement. At the time I didn’t really think anything of it although I did wonder a little why they were so out of the way for a lunchtime meeting. Seems I missed a trick there!

    • G’day Paul

      Wasn’t at least one person we know of paid off.

      I say we I only know of one.



      I worked for the Audit Commission as you know I find it hard to understand why they let them find one.

      They must have wanted to sack that error maker.

      • I think you’re right James. There’s been a secret ceremony. Some unknown wretch has been sacrificed upon an altar, under a hidden, bloodless s e t t l e m e n t agreement, flourished with cash, to keep all involved contented and ticking in synchronisation with the monster watch. Democracy has functioned like clockwork.

  8. Thinklocal all over again. The latter advertising sheet was popped through residents letterboxes and advertised the services of start ups.

    Surreptitiously Wbc financed this private venture by filling spaces with council ads, by allowing Wirralbizz to pressure start ups to use grant monies to pay for adverts, by turning a blind eye to fact that two individuals salaries on Thinklocal were paid out of working neighbourhood Wbc money for doing tasks totally unrelated.

    Yep Wbc has hankered after a propaganda mouthpiece vide “The Edge” an unsubtle title reference to Egerton House..arrival mag yes but funded inappropriately by Wbc £20,000 Big grant and plastered with Wirral invest adverts and plugs forth Council.

    WIRRAL view is but the child of the above two ventures.

    What resulted fromthinklocal? Many unhappy advertisers, £65,000 of unpaid ads from discontented customers and in excess of£60,000 of misdirected grant money paid as salaries to thinklocal staff.

    There you go

    • G’day Mate

      Yer right AGAIN.

      Like the old chancers down the swimming pool of a morning.

      Get your hands on that filthy lucre, also known as grant monies, and no one at wirral can be arsed accounting for it.

      Or, anyone else and like “The Pretend Friend” Jones says I don’t understand accounting boyo.

      That’s why your the thicker than the chair, chair of the Fudge It and Risk It Mismanagement Committee you stupid old welsh goose not because you are half as clever as “Highbrow”.

      Look at Wirral “Funny” Bizz, Big, ISUS and Working Neighbourhoods, Beverley Edwards, Dave Garry, Grant (Chocolate Teapot) Thornton, DCLG, LGA et al.

      There is nothing sexy in accounting at wirral and nothing to steal.

      Look what happened to Dave Garry when he tried to cover up their crimes, he might have been an accountant. They wouldn’t want him around and knowing.



  9. The wearing of big fuck off elaborate timepieces that defy gravity do not adversely affect one’s funny handshakes. At least we’ve had that much confirmed.

    • G’day Paul

      Do their whopper ‘kettle and hobs’, “The Shyster” and “Fartin Lobsterpot”, count in seconds or £100 notes?



      Taxpayer £100 notes of course.

  10. G’day Leaksville

    The rest of my theory from before, didn’t want you to peak too early, a secret I have heard of you from a leak in the towers.

    OK so governments have to make decisions whether wirral and/or St Helens need more housing they have decided that is what is going to happen.

    A decision, right or wrong.


    The problem is

    who builds the houses?

    how is that decided?

    Back to me and “Highbrow” and Wirral “Funny” Bizz and their £2,000,000.00 knock off.

    boring boring boring

    Wirral “Funny” Bizz should never have got the millions they got.

    So who decided they would?

    And why are they still hiding the truth almost six years later.

    Back to the old chancers down the swimming pool every morning talking about the next tranche of lucre with insider information.


    Clowncillors get new best friend for life (of the filthy lucre) and they won’t talk of any tendering until it is all decided.


    I think, “Highbrow” has all the evidence, Wirral “Funny” Bizz finished 13th in the process and made hay with your monies.

    Enough already Leaky.



    They then lie low like that old welsh scum bag said to “Highbrow” its too late now boyo they have all moved on.

    They’ve only gone to the fuckin Chamber Office “Pretend Friend”.

    So L luv you to Easter (eggs) and back XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    They could give up lying for lent but they won’t.

    Did you get a copy of “FOI 1125196 – Police crime commissioner election expenses” I can arrange a copy of there latest cock up if you like. Lots of familiar names.

  11. G’day Lordy

    What you could do in your spare time is write autobiographies on them at the clowncil leading up to the next election.

    You don’t have to be negative L but it will be damn near impossible to find positives.

    Take “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING and Deluded Dill” as an example.

    You could talk about his early life, probably as a spoilt only child at caldy, not in any football teams and with an insecurity issue around his blushing pink cheekies hence now why he hides if Martin Morton starts to speak or why he lied about answering his star voter “Highbrow” by mail on 19 December 2016.

    Then you could list his great achievements for the wirral taxpaying public

    Girtrell Court

    Lyndale School

    Birkenhead Markets

    The Laurie Centre

    Tranmeirdre (his ‘toilet’ seat)

    Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant wirral Waters

    Business out of China

    Business out of Reno


    Wirral “Funny” Bizz

    Then My Lord you can talk about his fabulous team, in no particular order


    Other crud, dross and incompetents are available at his fingertips.

    Cream of wirral. (SOUR CREAM)

    Back to the positives you could mention the example he sets for his staff as witnessed in that court house over Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant wirral Waters with that wirral JUDGE.

    “Dill Wit” “I have a dream”

    A golf resort fit for Donald Trump and created by that other gorgeous blonde Big Jack (and his beanstalk). (with a fuckin great big housing estate)

    So getting back on the square with that wirral Judge in their bullying case of about £100,000.00, wages and solicitors the evidence of the masters genius was there for all to hear she must have listened to her fearful leader “Dill Brain”.

    Apparently she addressed her staff in that Dictat err Electoral Office by saying she had a VISION for the team, a VISION Lordy, a fuckin vision (the ability to think about or plan the future with imagination or wisdom).

    She could only have gleaned this remarkable wisdom from the leader she is probably only on £40,000.00-£50,000.00, not, per day Leaky, per year.

    Then Leaksville speaking above her station she had to go off with pig flu.




    I’m bored now Lord but I am sure you will like the idea XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

  12. G’day Lordy

    Panic Panic Panic

    Can I please recall my last post L?

    I have named names, names of crud, dross, and incompetents.

    I would hate the electorate to know what goes on in the Clownhall.



    Luv ya L as I know you can’t hide my shit like “Phil the Very Very Very Very Slimy, Elusive, LYING and Deluded Dill” hides reports by Beverley Edwards, Dave Garry, Grant (Chocolate Teapot) Thornton, DCLG, LGA Wirralgate and any other evidence that shows them up to be slimy crud, dross and unpleasant with it.



      Guess what I shown yesterday by the younger members of my family?

      A boomerang……… (No not like the one that you throw – and time stands still….a bit like Sir Git giving evidence)

      This is a kind of technological/internet related one…… It kind of repeats an image but its not a moving image…I think. (Why am telling you this?)

      Because it’s fecking interesting… Ok !

      (And I know what ‘dabbling’ is)

      Yea….I am still pissed from last night…

      • That’s Interesting “Interested”


        “Dabbling” are you suggesting this might happen at Brighton Street?

        Me no savvy oh wise one.

        If it is an evil, cheating, lying, filthy, deceitful act I would say yes it probably goes on in the Clown Hall.

        If it people being open, honest, decent, nice, charitable and transparent it is not something to be seen this side of Kev and Stella’s Stinking Stagnant wirral Waters.



        I have trouble understanding scousers and scouseisms even from sober people but please don’t “dabble” it against me.


  13. Pingback: Distribution Solution | Wirralleaks

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